What's Left Of Me: A Lily and James Fanfic
by iambookworm
Summary: Lily likes James. James likes the chase. What happens when the chase is over and Lily's heart is broken? By the time James realizes his true feelings will it be too late? Read on to find out! K plus  for some minor language.
1. First Day

**Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING- except for the plot which also sort of belongs to J.K. Rowling so... basically I own nothing... except like 25% of the plot. Yeah, it's pretty sad.**

**Summary: So, basically it's a love story. Hm... I think you go that considering it was under the Romance category... but anyways... James is a big fat idiot and a jerk. (Sorry to say that, but it is true- at least in this story) Lily has always liked James. LIKED LIKED James. But ever since she said no to James, he's been resentful. His mission: get Lily Evans. What happens when he does? And then breaks her heart? Will Lily ever see past her heartbreak and into her new love? Maybe... or maybe not! Read on to find out!**

**Authors Note: I will try to keep these notes short and sweet but I will make sure to thank any reviewers I have! Also, the chapters will be getting longer! The beginning few are just short to give you the idea of what's going on. I'll go more in depth later. Anyways, here's Chapter 1!**

**Chapter 1 First Day**

Lily Evans sat down next to James Potter. James winked at his new friend, Sirius Black, and said suavely, "Hey. Evans right?"

Lily looked at him curiously. "Yes…" she replied, unsure as to why this strange and obviously amazingly handsome boy was asking about her.

"I'm James. James Potter."

Lily laughed quietly to herself thinking about how James Bond always introduced himself. However, she managed to not laugh in his face and instead smiled slightly and said, "Lily. Lily Evans. Nice to meet you."

"Well, Evans, want to go out with me?"

There it began. For James, it was all about the chase, the thrill. For Lily, it was a crush. A big one. Too bad James Potter was a heartbreaker.


	2. Sixth Year

**Chapter 2 **

**Sixth Year**

Lily swung her red hair back behind her shoulder and peered out nervously at the platform. The sixth time she had done this, and she was still nervous. She sighed as she scanned the crowd for her friends who appeared to be missing in action.

She turned to her parents one last time and gave them a goodbye kiss and hug. She moved towards Petunia and two girls locked eyes. Then Petunia snorted and turned away. Their parents looked on worriedly, but Lily only offered a tired, slightly sad smile before saying goodbye and watching them walk out of King's Cross Station.

Turning her head towards the platform, she ran through the brick wall into Platform 9 ¾. It was exactly how she remembered. The scarlet steam engine shining off to the side of the platform, the crowds of people saying goodbyes and hellos, and the hub bub and confusion all around her. She smiled for real, the first time in months, and stepped forwards. Almost immediately she was assailed by a blonde, slightly plump-faced girl.

"LILY!" the girl shrieked as she flung herself onto Lily for a huge hug. Lily dropped her trunk and hugged the girl back.

"ALICE!" she yelled back, laughing as they drew apart. Alice eyed her curiously then said, "So… is this the year?" She bounced with excitement.

"I think so," Lily smiled as Alice jumped up and down with excitement.

"You know," said Alice seriously. "After four years, I think he might _really_ ike you."

"I hope so," Lily answered a bit nervously. Butterflies exploded in her stomach as the subject of their conversation turned her way. James Potter grinned at Lily from across the platform, turned back to his friends for a moment, and then sauntered her way.

Lily could feel her heart pounding in her throat. She felt sure everyone within a mile radius could hear its frantic beating but James seemed completely oblivious to it. Alice stared with wide-eyed wonder off to the side.

"Hey Evans."

"H-hi Potter," Lily blushed as she stuttered.

"So, want to go out with me?" James gave her his trademark grin, the one she found so adorable and swept his hair back from his forehead as he looked at her expectantly, seemingly sure of her answer. Little did he know, he was about to get the shock of his life.

"Sure," Lily replied, her stomach tying itself up in knots. "How 'bout the first Hogsmeade weekend?

James looked at her, shocked, then broke into a grin. "Yeah, great! Catch you later, Evans!"

Lily watched as he walked back to his friends and told them the good news. As they slapped his back and whistled loudly, she blushed to the roots of her fiery red hair. Alice came up beside her, staring at the boys as well. She gave a low whistle then said in awe, "_Wow_…."

All of a sudden, Marlene McKinnon, Lily's other friend, raced up and gave Lily a huge hug. "Lily? Lily? LILY?" she yelled as Lily spaced out.

"Huh? What?" Lily spotted Marlene. "Oh, hi Marlene. What's up?"

"What's up? _What's up_?_"_ Marlene practically screamed in her ear. "_What's up_ is that I just saw _you_ say _yes_ to _James bloody Potter_!"

"Oh, yeah, _that._"

"Details, girl! _Details_!" Marlene yelled excitedly, stopping only to give the still shocked Alice a quick hug.

"C'mon," said Lily, dragging her trunk towards the train. "I'll tell you all about it when we've found a compartment."


	3. Background

**Disclaimer: I own a LEETLE, LEETLE bit... just a bit. Like a quarter. Or smaller. **

**Authors Note: Okay, so this is just some background information for you readers. Tell me what you think! R&R!**

**Chapter 3**

**Background**

At the age of eleven, Lily had gotten her letter of acceptance to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The first day, as soon as she had sat down, she had been asked out by, James Potter, aka- school hottie.

Of course, like any other eleven year girl, she thought he was incredibly cute but she also knew that "dating" at eleven, wasn't really dating at all. And, with no Hogsmeade trips to look forwards to, where would they even go for their "dates"? So, she had said no.

James, of course, had been shocked. He decided, from then on, it would be his personal mission to get Lily Evans to go out with him. Unfortunately for him, he underestimated Lily's stubbornness and so, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after long year, James asked Lily, without fail, if she would go out with him.

It was, in a way, to Lily, quite flattering. Embarrassed though, she often pretended as if she only wished he would leave her alone. And now, she had said yes. But to James Potter, it was nothing more than a mission, a chase. Poor Lily Evans had no idea what she had coming.


	4. Getting Ready

**Disclaimer: Another lovely disclaimer for y'all. Hm... I've never actually said "y'all". I'm Chinese-American so saying "y'all" would probably be weird. I've never met a Chinese person who said "y'all" (except for my sister who gets terrible accents when we go visit places). ANYWAYS... I own a bit. A little, little bit. But never the less (nevertheless?), a bit. (How do you spell never the less? Is it "never the less" or "nevertheless"?) **

**PLEASE Read & Review!**

**Chapter Four**

**Getting Ready**

Lily woke up bright and early on a snowy Saturday morning. Smiling at the world, she got up and began to get ready for her big date today. It was her first date ever, and James was the first boy she had ever REALLY liked.

She took a quick shower and then dressed. Excitedly, she pulled on a burgundy knit snow cap over her red hair, an emerald green turtleneck sweater to match her beautiful green eyes, a pair of black jeans, and some black boots. She tucked a pair of flexible leather gloves into her back pocket and draped her coat over her arm. She added a quick styling spell to her wet, showered head and stepped in front of the mirror to look at herself. Oh, she looked _good_. Smiling at her reflection, she walked out the door with a spring in her step.

James Potter woke up, yawned and stretched out on his dormitory bed. He grinned as he stared up at the ceiling. Today was his first, and last, date with Lily Evans. He and Sirius had been planning this moment since forever. Well, since the first day Lily had said no to him. No one said no to James Potter.

He would go on a date with Lily, be the perfect gentleman, and then dump her, hugely and publicly until she was embarrassed beyond belief. He could just see the scene play out. The big, dramatic shouting. Her tears as she broke down. He sighed. No one could resist the Potter charm. Not for long anyways.

Lily had always liked James Potter. Her first date ever was going to be perfect. If a guy went after you for four whole years, even if he had dated other girls, didn't that mean he liked you? Liked** liked** you? She thought so. She smiled dreamily down at her porridge.

Just then Alice and Marlene walked in and caught her dreamy expression.

"Hey, what's up Lils?" Marlene asked, settling down on Lily's right side and helping herself to a spoonful of porridge from Lily's bowl. Lily hardly even noticed.

"Oh… nothing," she replied dreamily, twisting a lock of her hair up in her finger.

"Ohhh... I know what today is," Marlene winked. She looked over at Alice and mouthed, _James Potter._ Alice's face lit up with understanding as she looked slyly at Lily.

"Well, you look absolutely gorgeous so I don't know how he could resist you," she complimented Lily.

"Really?" asked Lily, suddenly agitated. "Because I thought my hair-"

Marlene cut her off. "Lily, honey, you look just fine. Perfect."

Lily smiled and said, "I guess I'm just worried about nothing."

"Exactly," Alice soothed. "Now eat some of your porridge before Marlene scarfs it all down."

"HEY!" Marlene exclaimed, attempting to whack Alice over the head.


	5. First Kiss

**Disclaimer: You find a quarter on the side of the road. You pick it up. You just picked up the amount of story that is actually mine! That's right people. About 25%. Isn't it sad?**

**Author's Note: LONGEST CHAPTER YET! And probably the longest for a while. Thought I'd give you a little present! I have the next couple of chapters rarin' to go (where do I come up with these things?) and so they will be out soon! But, I'm going to make you wait a while. MUHAHA! Only until I get a few reviews. Then, if I actually get some, I'll post! **

**R&R if you want the next few chapters!**

**Chapter 5**

**First Kiss**

As agreed previously, Lily met James in the entrance hall, nervously curling her toes in and out inside her boots. Every time she spotted a flash of black her stomach rolled. At last, James arrived, alone. She was pleasantly surprised. She had thought he might bring along his group of friends. At least for the walk. She smiled serenely at him as the butterflies in her stomach calmed down with one look at his assured, certain face.

If she could just concentrate on her date, maybe she might not think about… _**that**_. For a minute, she saddened but then brightened up as James stopped in front of her. He surveyed her for a minute, his eyes traveling down the length of her body as she blushed bright red, then said, "You look beautiful, Lily."

Her blush turned into a bright vermillion red and she managed to stutter, "T-t-thanks J-James." Noticing he had used her given name, she had used his but now she felt stupid for stuttering. James didn't seem to notice her apparent mistake though. Instead, he just held out his arm gallantly and she linked arms with him as they strode out into the frigid air.

Shivering with the cold, Lily unlinked her arm from James' for a minute to put on her coat, but when she tried to lace her arm through his again he was strolling along with his hands in his pockets. She blinked, and then let her arm dangle uselessly at her side. Feelings of insecurity swept through her like a tidal wave. _Did he like her? Why wouldn't he? Had she done something wrong? Or were his hands just cold?_ _Maybe she __**smelled **__bad_. Her eyes widened at the thought and she secretly sniffed herself. She smelled fine to herself. She felt the weight of her empty hand drag her down but she tried to shake it off thinking, _He was probably just cold or something._

She shivered a bit again, her coat had not warmed up from her body heat yet and she was still cold. Then she felt a weight settle on her shoulders. She looked up, startled, into James' face. "You looked cold," he said, smiling. His face was very close to hers. Her heart pounded with reckless abandon. She rose up slightly on the tips of her toes, focused on his face, but then he turned away and she felt ridiculous. A flush rose on her neck and face and she looked down, ashamed and harboring feelings of embarrassment, and she thought, stupidly, sadness. She had practically thrown herself on him, she thought miserably.

The silence seemed to go from amiable to awkward, and apparently James noticed because he said suddenly, "Lily." Instantly, Lily's insides turned to mush, her heart swelled, and she looked up expectantly at him, a small smile curving her lips as he said her name. Oh, how she loved the way he said her name!

"Yes, James?" she asked breathlessly.

"Well, I was wondering where you wanted to go out to eat? You know… if you're hungry. I know some girls like that Madam Puddifoot's place…."

"Oh, no," she replied. "Madam Puddifoot's is definitely not my scene."

"Oh, thank God!" he exclaimed and she laughed. "But seriously, where do you want to go?" He looked at her intensely and she found herself melting underneath his hazel gaze.

"Um…" she couldn't think while staring into those eyes. She turned away, her cheeks practically burning and stared at the ground.

"How 'bout the Three Broomsticks?" asked James, coming to her rescue.

"Sure!" she replied enthusiastically, happy for the pressure to be taken off her.

"Great."

The silence settled again. The crunch of their feet in the snow, and the distant ringing of laughter from other students were the only noises that accompanied them on their silent trek through the snow. Lily began to feel awkward again, and feeling as if she owed James some repentance for saving her from deep embarrassment earlier, she blurted out, "James." Immediately she squirmed as his gaze turned towards her and her cheeks flushed pink. She seemed to do that a lot- blush- in James Potter's presence.

She turned towards him, knowing she had to say **something**, _**anything**_. But what came out of her mouth was not what she was going to say.

"Why do you like me?" She felt heat on her neck and she quickly lowered her eyes. She had not intended to ask that, but now that she had, she found herself curious and wanting to know. When he stayed silent she mumbled quickly, "Never mind. Forget I asked. It was a stupid question anyways."

"No," he replied. "It wasn't. I was just thinking."

"O-oh," Lily turned her face up to his. "So, why_** do**_ you like me?"

"Well," said James. "I like your confidence, your persistence, your determination, your passion, the way you can find the good in anyone, how beautiful you are… Lily, I love everything about you."

_**LOVE?**_ Whoa. Wait a minute. They were only fifteen for heaven's sake! Why were they talking about _**LOVE? **_

"Oh… um… well, that's very sweet of you to say, James."

Silence. Ringing, empty silence.

"So, Lily, why do _**you**_ like _**me**_?"

"Oh- I- well- I mean- um…" Lily stuttered than coughed.

"You okay?" James asked, thumping her on the back.

"Yeah, fine," she said, her eyes tearing with the cough.

"Anyway, you don't have to answer. It's fine."

"No, no! I want to! I just… didn't expect… well, I didn't think you would ask."

"So?"

"Um… Er…" All of a sudden, it spewed out from Lily.

"I like your confidence just like you like mine, I like how you never gave up on me, I like how you look at me, I like the way you look every day, I like how you say my name, I like how when I see you, I get butterflies, I love how you can make me forget about certain- problems- in my life, I like how you said you love me, I like… well, I_** love**_ everything. Everything… about you."

She couldn't believe she'd said that. "Oh my gosh. I've- I've got to go." Lily spun around, hot tears of embarrassment ready to spill out of her eyes and then she felt James grip on her arm tighten as he swung her around and said, "Lily. Lily, why are you crying? I just said I love you too."

"No, no," she moaned. "I'm a big, stupid, fool! An idiot! Please, just let me go."

"No, Lily. You're not a fool. Or an idiot, for that matter. And no, I won't let you go."

Then he dipped her back and kissed her. Long and hard. At first, Lily was completely taken aback. But then she felt James lips on hers and she completely melted into him. It was her first kiss, and it was everything she'd ever dreamed of it being. It was sweet and soft, yet hard and passionate. Like a sweet song, a rose in full bloom, rain hitting a window, it was… it was a dream. She could not know how to compare James' kiss to others as she had had none but somehow she knew, she just **knew,** that that was the best first kiss anyone could ever wish for.

When they finally broke apart, smiling and gasping for air, Lily looked at James and James looked at Lily, gauging each other's reactions, and then James reached up, wiped away an angry tear, long forgotten now, from her face, and then smiled at her and said, "I love you Lily."

"I love you too James."

Perhaps it was too early to profess their love, at only fifteen, but somehow Lily knew. It was too bad James didn't.


	6. Heartbreak

**Disclaimer: The cookie recipe calls for 1/4 cup of milk. You pour the milk. That's how much of my story that I actually own. Depressing isn't it?**

**Author's Note: So, I'm assuming by now I've already gotten enough reviews and so I am posting it. Alas! Finally! (Okay, alas? REALLY?) So, here it is!**

**Chapter 6**

**Heartbreak**

Three hours later, James and Lily arrived back at the castle, windswept and happy. Lily was ecstatic. James Potter had_** kissed**_ her! They reached the entrance hall where students were milling about, unwilling to continue into the depths of Hogwarts and leave the blustery, fun day outside.

James swung Lily around and at first Lily thought he was going to kiss her. But then she looked up into his eyes. There was something wrong. His eyes were cold, flinty chips of ice.

"James? James are you okay?" she asked, worried.

She lifted her hand to caress his face but he shoved her away. "James?" she asked again, shocked and hurt. "Hello? James? It's me, Lily."

By this time they had attracted several students' interest and a small crowd of people had gathered. Lily didn't care. She had eyes only for James.

"JAMES?" she almost yelled. He shoved her, hard, away from him. She stumbled backwards, almost falling but hitting the stone wall just in time to save herself. She sucked in her breath as her back hit the hard wall. The physical pain hurt but her heart hurt much more. "James? What's wrong?" she winced as she straightened and looked at him, the hurt apparent in her eyes.

"_**Huh**_." James snorted. "Did you really believe _**I **_would ever go out with _**you**_?"

Lily's eyes widened and she blinked. "But- but," she stammered, her eyes brimming with pain and confusion. There were a lot of people now, gathered in a circle around the couple. But apparently, they _**weren't**_ a couple.

"But- but," James mocked her in a simpering tone. "But _**what**_ Evans?"

The use of her last name sent an unpleasant shock up Lily's spine. "But what about all the things you said to me? About- about everything. About what you _**felt**_?"

"I was _**lying**_. Get it? I do that a lot. I can't believe you actually thought I could ever like _**you**_. God Evans, your so naïve, you know. I never _**liked**_ you. I just wanted to _**get**_ you. And now that I have, we're through. **Over. Done with. Period.** Goodbye now."

He smirked and walked away, waiting for her to either break down or yell back. She did neither.

Sirius broke free from the crowd and ran up to him, slapping him on the back and offering him congratulations. James smiled, and stole a glance back at Lily. To his surprise, he saw her friends Alice and Marlene shooing away the crowd as they looked concernedly at Lily.

Lily looked up and for a moment their eyes met. He looked at her defiantly, arrogantly, but he was startled to see what was in her eyes. Or rather, what wasn't. Her eyes were dead. There was no other way to describe it. Weirded out, James turned back to Sirius, watching from the corner of his eye as Lily's friends guided her away.

**Author's Note: Okay, depressing and very un-like James, I know. You can hate me all you want- just please don't stop reading! I would give you a cookie from the recipe but actually I think you're supposed to put in more than 1/4 cup of milk to they probably won't come out so well. Oh, well... Just keep R&Ring! **


	7. Not Just Another Girl

**Disclaimer: Your math teacher writes a problem on the board: What is another way to say 1/4? Answers: 25%, .25, 2/8, 4/16, etc. That is how much I own of this story. And their is only so much you can do with 1/4 or 25% or .25 or 2/8 or 4/16. **

**Author's Note: James is very OOC (out of character) I know. But I'd always visualized this in my head and then I just wrote it as how I saw it. So, yeah blame me- not the story! The story did nothing wrong! Just keep reading it! (And reviewing is always nice *hint hint*)**

**Chapter 7**

**Not Just Another Girl**

**One Week Later**

James was sitting next to Remus in Herbology. They were taking the bulbs of the Dragon Bulb Plant out and it was hard, messy work. Remus was trying to talk with him about Lily but James remained uninterested.

"James, you broke her heart."

"Yeah, well, I do that. I did it to Nancy, and Ashley, and Tiffany, and Shelby, and Taylor, and Carla, and-"

Remus interrupted, "Yes, but you know they didn't care about you like Lily did. I saw the way she looked at you." He took a deep breath then continued, "And I saw the way you looked at her."

James looked at him incredulously. "What the hell are you talking about Remus?"

"James, you know it's true. I saw you guys, the other day, on your date, I saw the way you kissed her. James, I saw the way you looked at her. You liked her, you more than **liked** her. And I think you still do. You're just too stubborn to admit it and when you finally realize it, by then it will be too late. If I were you, I would go apologize to Lily right now. She's a beautiful, intelligent girl and any guy would be lucky to have her." Remus gave James a long look. "James, do you know why Lily is so upset?"

James stole a look at Lily's empty chair across the classroom. It's occupant had been missing for a week now. "No," James replied. "And I don't particularly care."

Remus sighed.

"Look Remus," James said, angry now. "I broke Evans' heart, just like I broke a hundred other girls' hearts. She's just upset. She had a crush on me and now she's sad. She'll probably be back in school by Monday, with all her perfect homework done and ready, looking just as pretty as she always does."

James swallowed. Had he really just called Evans… _**pretty?**_ He tried to act like it was no big deal, hoping Remus wouldn't notice, but notice he did.

"You called her pretty. Admit James, you _**like**_ her. Now you're just being a stupid prick."

"I do _**not**_ like Evans," James growled back.

"Whatever you say, James," Remus sighed tiredly.

Fifteen minutes of silence later, the bell rang. As James put away his gloves, Remus walked up to him and said, "You should know James, the reason Lily is so upset isn't because you broke up with her. I know Lily and that's not the way she is. You might want to think about her feelings before you just go stomping on them. And James, she's my friend. And right now, I'm thinking she might be a better friend than you are, if this is the way you treat people."

James opened his mouth angrily to protest but Remus had already swept away.

**Author's Note: GO REMUS, GO REMUS, GO REMUS! Sorry, I love Remus! He's always the peacekeeper and I enjoy writing him! **


	8. The Truth

**Disclaimer: These are actually kind of fun to write... I'm sure they'll get boring eventually but maybe... maybe they'll stay interesting. That is, if you people actually read them... You order a pizza. It has 4 slices. You take two (because you like to eat a lot) and your friend takes one. How many are left out of the total amount? You got it! 1/4. Look how smart you are!**

**Author's Note: So, I've been dying to release this one. I've had it ready and waiting and it's just SO good- in my oh so humble opinion (I'm a BIT conceited- just a bit). Anyways, I have had this planned out in my head for ages and I honestly think this is one of the best chapters! Lots of character development for Alice (and some for James)! **

**Chapter 8**

**The Truth**

Next Monday, Lily wasn't in class. By now, the teachers were all worried about their star pupil. When asked by anybody, Alice or Marlene would simply say Lily had been having a really rough time but that she would be back as soon as she could and she was keeping up with her homework, of course. This put everyone at ease but James could feel something stirring in his heart. He didn't know what it was, but it was strange and new. He didn't like it. Yet.

The truth was- Remus had been right. A little bit, anyways. James did sort of like Lily, he guessed. But he was of course, way too proud to admit that. The truth was- most of the things he had said to Lily that day had been true. Maybe not the LOVE part... but he did LIKE her- a LOT. But after he dumped her so publicly, he doubted whether Lily would ever want to see him again. So he decided it was nothing. He just felt a bit bad about the break-up. He would get over it soon and hopefully so would Lily.

He decided he would ask Alice if she was alright. In an arrogant, nonchalant way of course.

At the end of first period Charms he was the first person out of his seat. He made his way over to Alice who was still putting her books away. Her eyes were sad.

"Hey, Prewett."

"Potter," Alice snarled. "What the hell do you want?"

"Whoa. Calm down Prewett. Just wanted to ask you a question," James held up his hands in surrender.

"Fine. Ask away," Alice glared at him steely eyed.

"Well, I wanted to know why Evans hasn't been in class."

Alice arched an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah, she that upset about losing me?" He smirked.

Alice's eyes blazed. "_**NO!**_ For your information Mr. Potter, Lily is not upset about _**you**_ at all. You're a sick arrogant _**pig**_ to even think she would care about _**YOU**_!

"News flash,_** Potter**_," she said scathingly. "Not everything's about _**you**_."

"Whoa. Didn't know you had that in you, Prewett."

"You're a pig," Alice said, and started walking out.

James blocked her way. "Aww, come on Prewett. You know I was just joking."

"Fine Potter! You want to know why Lily's been cooped up in her room for over a week? It's because three days before she went out with you her parents _**died**_. And then she went out on a date with you thinking you could make her feel better and instead of doing that, you publicly humiliated her! Didn't you know she's liked you since the first day?" She shook her head. "I hope you're happy."

Her shoulders shook, tears pricking her eyes, and moved forwards again. James slipped in front of her. "Really? Serious, Prewett? You're not joking with me? I mean, she didn't even miss a day of school!"

"Of course I'm not. I don't joke about people _**dying**_. I don't _**play**_ with people's emotions. I'm not _**you**_. And it's Lily, Potter. I thought even _**you**_ knew her enough to know she would keep up with her work. But you know what Potter? What you did to her? That was just cruel. You broke her. I'm ashamed to even _**know**_ you."

She pushed past him, silent tears leaking from her eyes as she cried for her friend. James just stood there, rooted to the spot, shocked beyond belief. As the bell rang and students rushed past him into the class he found his feet and ran out of the room.

**Author's Note: So, Alice really makes a stand in this chapter. Originally I thought about using Marlene but then I realized that by using Alice you can really see how tough she is and how she makes it as an Auror- she's very loyal and dependable and believes in what she thinks is right. Important qualities for an Auror... Mad Eye Moody would be proud.**

**Hmm... Do you wonder where James runs to? Well, if you think it's Lily you'd be wrong! Or maybe you wouldn't be... you shall not know until the next chapter! I am evil that way.**


	9. The Room of Requirement

**Disclaimer: One girl out of four says reading is her hobby. How many girls like reading out of the total amount of girls? ¼. How much I own of this story. ¼. Sad, ain't it? (Ain't? Really, I come up with the weirdest things.)**

**Chapter 9**

**The Room of Requirement**

James didn't know where to go. He only knew he couldn't go to his next class. No way. He raced down the corridors trying to outrun his problems. He ran and ran and ran and until he was completely out of breath and then onwards. He panted past the stitch in his side. He gasped past the feeling in his heart, depserately trying to rid himself of the guilt. At last, he skidded to a stop, unable to go on.

He slumped against the wall and breathed deeply, clawing the air back in his lungs. Finally, he stood up and began to pace, thinking of what he had to do. He felt terrible now. He wanted to say sorry to Lily but how? Did she hate him now? He thought back to the public break-up. The haunting, dead look in her eyes. The horrible things he had said. He winced. She must hate him.

"UGH!" he yelled and lashed out at the wall. All he needed was a place to be alone, to think. His foot throbbed where he had kicked the wall. But the physical pain was better than the weight of thinking.

All of a sudden as if the wall had heard his thoughts and answered the call, a door began to appear. It grew larger and larger until it was high above his head. He pulled the metal door handle open and to his astonishment saw a room, filled with everything he might need- books, comfy armchairs, a fireplace, and best of all- a set of quills and a blank notebook.

Awed, he raced to the chair nearest the fireplace and settled into it with the quills and notebook. The fireplace crackled to life as he wrote. His thoughts became organized when put on paper and he could feel the pressure lifting as he wrote.

At last he finished and looked at the notebook. He read over what he had written. Then, he tore the pages he had used out of the book, stuffed them in his pocket, and raced to the door. On his way out, he paused, looked around the room in awe, said a quick thank you to the room for helping him in his time of need, and then pulled open the heavy door.

All too soon he was standing in front of Gryffindor Tower.


	10. Remembering

**Disclaimer: Too depressed to add something good, the next chapter is way too sad. I felt like crying. So, I own virtually nothing. Anything you recognize is J.K. Rowling's.**

**Author's Note: Next chapter is VERY depressing. I was almost in tears and now I'm listening to super sad music so I can empathize with my characters (which might seem weird but... it makes me write better so...). Anyways, on a happier note, we have a song chapter coming up! Chapter 12 is a song that shows how Lily is feeling. Let me know what you think!**

**Chapter 10**

**Remembering**

Lily lay on her bed, her eyes fixated on a spot on her blanket. She was looking, but not seeing. In her mind's eye, she watched James break up with her again and again. Each time she saw it in her head, she felt like hurling. Tears ran down her face as she pictured her parent's happy faces in her mind.

She remembered the last time she had seen them, the goodbyes. She wondered what their last moments were like. As the car careened towards them were they filled with terror? Or at peace, having said goodbye already to at least one of their daughters and possibly the second, as they headed out the door? She shoved her face into the pillow and screamed at the injustice of it all. Trying not to concentrate on her thoughts she grabbed her head and moaned aloud.

She curled into an even smaller ball, her tears melding the pillow to her face. She heard a knock on the window. The curtains were drawn tightly so no sunshine peeked through and at first, she was sure she had imagined the noise. But then it came again.

She wondered if she should get up and see what was happening. She decided not to. Whatever or whoever it was would eventually recognize a lost cause and leave. The tapping increased. Then, she heard a muffled curse and the person outside must have used the _Alohomora_ spell because next thing she knew, the window was opening and the curtains being drawn back by none other than James Potter.


	11. Why?

**Disclaimer: Depressed. I own basically nothing. That's all there is to it.**

**Author's Note: Going to cry :'(**

**Chapter 11**

**Why?**

As James swung open the window he was prepared for Lily. Whatever she threw at him, (whether she literally did or not) he would be ready for it. If she flared up in anger, he would take it. If she dissolved into tears, he would take that too. What he wasn't prepared for was her real reaction.

As Lily looked up to see James the look in her eyes spoke volumes. She flinched away and curled into a tighter ball. It was as if- as if- she were scared of him. The tear tracks down her face tightened as she bit her lip, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Lily…" James breathed, shocked at her initial reaction.

"Lily, I just-"James took a deep breath, stunned that he was actually going to apologize. "I just wanted to apologize. I-I was cruel. And mean. And selfish. And I didn't take your feelings into account. And I-I didn't know about your parents. I'm really sorry about that Lily. About everything. I hope you can forgive me eventually. I'll understand if you can't."

Lily looked up at him, sadness apparent in her almond shaped emerald eyes. "I just want to know… why? What did I ever do to you? When did I ever hurt you so much? What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much? Was it because I said no to you at first? I just don't understand how you could just stomp on me like that without even thinking about what I was feeling."

She shook her head sadly. "You know what Potter? I really liked you. But if this is the kind of person you are, then I'm glad you showed your true colors. I have no idea what I did to you that justified this kind of reaction from you but I'm sure it must have been terrible. I guess I underestimated the power of the word "no". Apparently, when you don't get something you want, you hurt other people to make the whole world feel bad too. So I just want you to know, I'm not crying because of you. I'm not crying because you broke up with me. I'm crying because my parents _**died**_. I'm crying because I cannot believe just how _**stupid**_ I was. Just like you said, right? I'm so naïve."

She closed her eyes and drew in a shaky breath. When she opened them, James was standing there with his mouth open. He shut it, then opened it again, as if to say something, closed it, and then turned and climbed right back out the window onto his hovering broomstick.


	12. Cold As You Chapter Song

**Disclaimer: All credit to Taylor Swift this time! Thanks for the use of your beautiful song Taylor! **

**Author's Note: Song Chapter! Tell me what you think! The song is Cold As You by Taylor Swift. If you don't know it- put it on! It's an absolutely gorgeous song but SO sad. Check it out! Also, if you like this song chapter please do tell and I will do more in later chapters! Songs that can relate to this story as well that you might like are: You're Not Sorry, Your Face, If This Was A Movie, Untouchable, and A Perfectly Good Heart also by Taylor Swift, Breakeven by The Script, Skyscraper by Demi Lovato, Because of You by Kelly Clarkson, and Turning Tables by Adele. Another song that I think that basically sums up the entire Lily/James relationship is One and Only by Adele.**

**Chapter 12**

**Cold As You- Song Chapter**

You have a way of coming easily to me  
>And when you take, you take the very best of me<br>So I start a fight 'cause I need to feel somethin'  
>And you do what you want 'cause I'm not what you wanted<p>

Oh, what a shame  
>What a rainy ending given to a perfect day<br>Just walk away  
>No use defending words that you will never say<p>

And now that I'm sittin' here thinkin' it through  
>I've never been anywhere cold as you<p>

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray  
>And I stood there lovin' you and washed them all away<br>And you come away with a great little story  
>Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you<p>

Oh, what a shame  
>What a rainy ending given to a perfect day<br>Just walk away  
>No use defending words that you will never say<p>

And now that I'm sittin' here thinkin' it through  
>I've never been anywhere cold as you<p>

You never did give a damn thing, honey  
>But I cried, cried for you<br>And I know you wouldn't have told nobody  
>If I died, died for you, died for you<p>

Oh, what a shame  
>What a rainy ending give to a perfect day<br>Every smile you fake is so condescending  
>Counted all the scars you made<p>

Now that I'm sittin her thinkin' it through  
>I've never been anywhere cold as you<p>

**Author's Note: Also, Chapter 13 is going to be another Song Chapter but after that we will be back to our regular chapters!**


	13. Because of You Chapter Song

**Disclaimer: All credit to Kelly Clarkson for this gorgeous yet incredibly sad song. **

**Author's Note: Another Song Chapter! The next chapters will return to normal format though! I will be updating soon! **

**Chapter 13**

**Because of You- Song Chapter**

I will not make the same mistakes that you did  
>I Will not let myself cause my heart so much misery<br>I will not break the way you did  
>You fell so hard<br>I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you  
>I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk<br>Because of you  
>I learned to play on the safe side<br>So I don't get hurt  
>Because of you<br>I find it hard to trust  
>Not only me, but everyone around me<br>Because of you  
>I am afraid<p>

I lose my way  
>And it's not too long before you point it out<br>I cannot cry  
>Because I know that's weakness in your eyes<br>I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh  
>Every day of my life<br>My heart can't possibly break  
>When it wasn't even whole to start with<p>

Because of you  
>I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk<br>Because of you  
>I learned to play on the safe side<br>So I don't get hurt  
>Because of you<br>I find it hard to trust  
>Not only me, but everyone around me<br>Because of you  
>I am afraid<p>

I watched you die  
>I heard you cry<br>Every night in your sleep  
>I was so young<br>You should have known better than to lean on me  
>You never thought of anyone else<br>You just saw your pain  
>And now I cry<br>In the middle of the night  
>For the same damn thing<p>

Because of you  
>I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk<br>Because of you  
>I learned to play on the safe side<br>So I don't get hurt  
>Because of you<br>I tried my hardest just to forget everything  
>Because of you<br>I don't know how to let anyone else in  
>Because of you<br>I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty  
>Because of you<br>I am afraid

Because of you  
>Because of you<p> 


	14. Back to Class and Tears

**Disclaimer: Lost the feel of the creative disclaimers... Everything you recognize is J.K. Rowling's! The rest- 25%- is mine!**

**Author's Note: I feel like this chapter is one of the ones where you can really empathize with Lily. I had a good, yet sad, time wrting this. I do think it is one of the better chapters I have written so far though. I also feel like this is actually quite realistic- the whispers, people asking where she was, etc.- though perhaps a tad dramatic. Anyways, tell me what you think!**

**Chapter 14**

**Back to Class and Tears**

The next day, Lily was back in class. She offered only a small, sad smile when people asked where she had been and said something like, "I just needed some time." People would nod as if they understood and give her a smile, then turn around and whisper what she had said into their friend's ear.

Lily had known this would happen, she just hadn't expected it to happen on such a big volume. Apparently, some people thought she had been gone because of her break up with…. She refused to even think about him. Closing her eyes, she took a deep, calming breath.

Her eyes opened and she turned them to the Charms questions she was supposed to be working on in class. Lily stared at the page blankly, sure she knew the answers but she found only an empty void where the answers would have been held in her mind once. Dipping her quill in her ink, she wrote her name in neat cursive at the top of the page and then stared at the parchment once more. Nothing came to mind. The bell rang a few minutes later and Professor Flitwick stood up as the students began to pack up.

"All right, class!" he said in his high, squeaky voice. "Hand in your questions before you leave!"

Lily looked at her empty parchment trying to summon up some feeling of dread that she hadn't completed- or even started- the assignment. Flitwick was by the door now, collecting the papers that people handed to him on their way out. As Lily handed her parchment in Flitwick took one look at it and frowned. "Miss Evans, may I please see you in my office this evening after dinner?"

Lily nodded listlessly and kept her eyes down. As she lowered her eyes, they caught James Potter's and she quickly ducked them down, tears burning her eyes as his words played through her mind.

"_Did you really believe __**I**__ would ever go out with __**you**__?" "I can't believe you actually thought I could ever like you." "We're through. Over. Done with."_

"Excuse me," Lily muttered as she pushed past some chatting Seventh Years. Soon enough, she had reached the bathroom. She threw herself into a stall and began sobbing loudly to the empty bathroom. Her sobs echoed off the walls, throwing themselves back at her as she cried harder and harder, crying for her parents, James, and her life altogether.


	15. Maybe Something More

**Disclaimer: That little 25% that's mine? Yes, I'm very proud of it.**

**Author's Note: Guess what happens next? **

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Maybe Something More **

James had spent the whole of Charms class staring intently at the back of Lily's head. Because of the seating arrangements, he was sitting two desks back and once across from Lily.

He really did feel bad about what he had done, but with Sirius whispering congratulations to him about every five minutes, he found it hard to think about repentance. Wishing she would just get over it - and then realizing what a terrible thought that was, as her parents had died- he turned back to his paper with a sigh.

He spied Peter trying to peek at his answers and he quickly covered them. He wasn't in the mood today. Peter shot him a hurt look- James always let him copy- and turned away. UGH! Now Peter was mad at him too! It was not turning out to be a good day for James.

~8)

In the queue of people handing in their assignments before walking out of the classroom, James was two people ahead of Lily. Her presence was like a magnet, drawing him in. He watched her turn in her blank assignment and frowned. It was unlike Lily to turn in an empty piece of parchment.

Remus and Sirius were having a discussion about something just in front of him. Sirius laughed and Peter quickly copied him, even though he probably didn't even understand the joke anyways.

Remus slowly turned towards James and caught him staring at Lily. He looked askance at James and then turned back to Sirius and their conversation.

James looked at Lily and for a moment their eyes locked. Then, Lily lowered her eyes and hurried away, pushing through some Seventh Years in her haste to get away from him. James watched her all the way down the hallway, until the she was swallowed up by the crowd of students. Just as he was about to look away, he caught a flash of red. His heart jumped into his throat as he saw her duck into an out-of-order bathroom. He frowned. What would she be doing in there?

"Hey, guys. I'll catch you later, 'kay?" James said suddenly, rushing past his friends, and not even pausing to look at his friends or wait for their response. As he headed off down the corridor Sirius looked back at him and then said, "You don't think… he's feeling guilty?"

He glanced at Remus who sighed and said, "Yes, Sirius, I think he is feeling guilty. And maybe more than that."

They all watched James' retreating back before starting towards their next class.


	16. The Way You Make Me Feel

**The Way You Make Me Feel **

James stopped outside the door he had thought he saw Lily go into. He squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and pushed the door open. He was, once again, completely taken aback by what he heard.

~8)

Lily didn't even hear the door open over her sobs. And really, what did she have to worry about? Who would come into an out-of-order girl's bathroom? Apparently, a certain James Potter would- if he was looking for a certain Lily Evans.

"Lily?" James said, shocked as he heard Lily's gasping sobs echoing around the bathroom walls.

~8)

Lily was shocked. Why the hell was James Potter in an out-of-order girl's bathroom? What business could he possibly have in here? Unless… he had followed her! She felt anger and pain well up in her heart. Then he said, "Lily?" again and she felt her resolve weaken. There was that feeling again- whenever James came into a room she could feel the pain curdle her heart and it made her want to curl up in a ball of sadness and never come out again.

She dropped her hand to her side and backed up until her calves hit the rim of the toilet seat. She took a deep breath and said in a voice as normal as possible, "What do you want, Potter?"

"Oh-um… Lily. I just wanted to say-"

"Save it, Potter. I don't want to hear your excuses. Just leave me the hell alone."

"Um… okay. But…" All of a sudden, before he could stop himself, James blurted out, "Were you crying?"

Lily was angered beyond belief. The anger fueled the fire and before she knew it, she had unlatched the door and flung it upon. She looked into James Potter's surprised eyes and just yelled it all out at him. A torrent of emotions poured forth from her; a tidal wave of crazy, mixed up feelings that she just needed to let out, stop bottling up.

"JAMES POTTER, YOU COMPLETE ARSE!" she shrieked. "HOW DARE YOU COME IN HERE AND ASK ME IF I'VE BEEN CRYING! WHAT THE FREAK IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

Needless to say- she didn't say freak.

"OF COURSE I'VE BEEN CRYING, YOU IDIOT! MY PARENTS DIED, MY HEART WAS RIPPED OUT BY YOUR MISERABLE STONE COLD HEART, AND NOW YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO COME ASKING AFTER ME? NO! YOU DON'T GET TO LOVE ME! YOU DON'T GET TO EVEN LIKE ME! YOU WILL NEVER, EVER- EVER MAKE ME FORGIVE YOU! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME FALL FOR YOU AGAIN! NEVER EVER AGAIN! YOU. RUINED. EVERYTHING." Lily took a deep breath, her chest heaving, glaring at James.

"I hate you," she said quietly, more tears streaming down her face. "I will NEVER love you. EVER again."

James looked at her. "You _**loved**_ me?"

Lily snorted. "I thought I did. I guess it just goes to show you how foolish you can be when you're young."

"Lily…" James wanted to tell her- he really did. And he would have- if he hadn't locked eyes with Lily right then and there. And that changed everything. Lily's sparkling emerald green eyes swam with tears and James' hazel eyes sparked with love.

Before he knew it, he was striding across the wet bathroom floor towards Lily, who was frozen in place and then he was kissing her as deeply and passionately as he possibly could. At first, Lily was so shocked her lips were frozen. Without consciously doing it, she began to cautiously respond back. Soon enough, they were kissing so deeply you couldn't see where one began and another ended.

Her second kiss and her second one with James Potter. This one was different than the first though. This one was hungry and passionate and heavy and deep. Like the color of blood, the heat of a fire, a rose petal blushing as it fell. It was all that and more.

Then, they broke apart, panting heavily, gazing into each other's eyes.

James looked at Lily, waiting for her eyes to spark like his did. Instead, Lily stared at him. Then, she opened her mouth and snapped it shut again. She blinked then slapped him hard across the cheek. She spun on her heel and tore out of the bathroom as James head jerked with the force of her slap. He slowly reached for his face and felt the red hand mark that must be printed firmly there. He let his hand drop as he sank slowly to the bathroom floor, his back against the wall, wondering why.


	17. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Author's Note **

First of all, I would like to thank my wonderful beta: .Emila. She is truly talented and writes beautifully so I would suggest checking her out! Go ahead, just do it! She's a GENUIS!

Second of all, I would like to thank all of the people who Favorited my story or added it to their Story Alert subscriptions. Thank you so much guys! You encourage me SO much!

Third of all, I wanted to thank all those who reviewed. Your reviews mean the world to me! They brighten up my whole day and it's just the greatest thing to open my email and see all of those reviews! Please review guys! I really appreciate it!

I also wanted to apologize for any atrocious grammatical mistakes I have made in this Author's Note. I'm posting it without telling my beta (as a surprise) so, unfortunately, the grammar probably isn't exactly… ahem… perfect.

Lastly, I just wanted to say thanks to EVERYONE for taking the time out of their busy lives to read my story. This is my first L/J fanfic and I want everyone to love it as much as I do. Normally, I don't complete most of my stories, but I think this one is coming along really well so, I WILL complete it! See, I even added extra exclamation points!

As an added side note: I may or may not be introducing Severus Snape in this story. He may be mentioned a bit, a lot, or not at all. I will probably at least add him in every now and then but not as a big character. Also, (forgive me for starting this sentence with also!) I may or may not add some Sirius moments. I would like to see him bonding with Lily but at the same time, I sort of made him into a jerk so… maybe not. Well, I don't really know so we'll just have to wait and see!

Okay, I promise, LAST thing. Keep reading guys! There's some pretty awesome surprises coming up and I can't wait to see what you guys make of them! I'll try to be updating at least twice a week, if not more, so be on the lookout for those chapters!

Forever Yours,  
>Kylie<p> 


	18. Losing Control

**Disclaimer: I have recently been told I deserve more cred it than 25%... I thought about giving myself 26% but then I realized you can't make any creative disclaimers with 26%... so I'm sticking with 25%... That's how much of this story I own!**

**Author's Note: **

**Hey guys, sorry for the long A/N at the end. It's concerning a review I got but if you're not interested, just skip it. I have also edited the name of this story slightly. It now reads: What's Left of Me: A Lily and James Fanfic . I've also changed the Rating to K+ for some minor language and the second genre to Drama. I hope you like the chapter and please review! Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: What ever happened to the last ¼ in Platform 9 ¾? It came along on to this story. That's right people, I own ¼ of this story. The rest belongs to J.K. Rowling. I also obtained the disclaimer idea from an unknown individual. I'm sorry – I forgot your username! I went through all my reviews and PMs but I couldn't find it, sorry!**

**Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to my wonderful beta: .Emilia (check her out!) and Stargazer2000 for her (I'm assuming you're a girl) wonderful review and for Story Alerting **_**and**_** Favoriting my story. You rock! As always, thanks to all who read, review, favorite, or Story Alert!**

**Chapter 17 **

**Losing Control**

Gasping breaths filled Lily's ears. Cold air attacked her nose as she struggled to breathe. The cold stone ground beneath her feet echoed as her shoes crashed into it, the vibrations from her pounding feet throughout the stone. Pain tore through her- whether it was mental or physical she could no longer tell. Up passageways, moving staircases, and through secret doorsLily darted, not even stopping to claw needed air down her throat.

At last, she reached Gryffindor Tower. Angry tears sparked in her eyes. She hurled the password at the Fat Lady: _**"Phoenix!" **_

The Fat Lady looked as if she were about to say something, but Lily was already diving through the portrait hole and halfway up the stairs before the Lady could even draw breath.

Up five flights of stairs, down the hall, through the door, and then she finally collapsed on her bed. She fought back the tears, unwilling to cry again for James Potter. Her throat closed in anger and all of a sudden she flew into a rage.

All of the objects in the room lifted from their places and swirled around as Lily screamed as loudly as she could to the empty room. The windows cracked and then burst open, littering the floor with bits of broken glass. Quills, spare bits of parchment, and bags of candy slammed against the wall. A cauldron flew through the air and cracked on the nightstand. Ink bottles burst open sending ink blasting everywhere about the room; coating the walls, ceiling, and floor with everything from black to rainbow ink. Pages ripped from books, and each pillow ripped open and spilled feathers that floated about the room lazily and got caught in the sticky ink.

At last, Lily calmed. Her throat felt ragged and raw from her screaming and the room was in absolute chaos. She glanced around at the ink and feathers, the torn pages, glass, misplaced items, and cracked cauldron. One big circle around her lay untouched and it was here that Lily collapsed, exhausted, and finally gave in to the tears- the angry ones and the sad ones. And it was here that Alice and Marlene found Lily when coming up to drop off their books for lunch.

**Authors Note: **

**I also wanted to bring up a review I got from someone named AA. They did it anonymously. Here's the review:**

"_I don't know personally I feel like James was probably never that much of a  
>jerk, I mean what Harry saw in the pensieve was nowhere near that bad, plus I<br>have always got the impression (from other stories at least) that Lily  
>overreacted to James a lot and was a little psycho. And man is Sirius a<br>bastard in this story, who congratulates someone for something like that_**"**

**Aside from the terrible grammar… I am a bit hurt by it, but I do feel as if I should address it. I don't want to throw a pity party for myself, but at the same time, I found it a bit rude. **

**I know James was probably never such a big jerk, but I didn't want it to be one of those stories where all of a sudden, after years of hating James, Lily suddenly realizes she likes him. That's just not how I pictured it. I'm not sure how my story will turn out exactly, but I wanted it to be more original. More **_**mine**_**, if you know what I mean.**

**I also do not think that Lily was ever "a little psycho". She's a bright, young witch who excels in Charms and Potions, and is extremely gifted. I think in the original story line, she was probably a bit annoyed, and maybe James drover her crazy sometimes, but I don't think anyone would ever call her "psycho". I know some authors enjoy portraying her as annoyed and maybe a little rash sometimes, but never "psycho." I have read many Lily/James fanfics but I have never come to the conclusion that Lily is in any way crazy.**

**I know Sirius is a "bastard" in this story, but I am in the middle of planning some nice Lily/Sirius bonding time, which will hopefully work out in later chapters. The only reason I had Sirius be such a jerk was because I had thought he would definitely support James and probably feel hurt for him because Lily kept turning him down. **

**So, AA, if you're reading this, please know that I'm not trying to get everyone to feel sorry for me, I just didn't think you're review was exactly justified. **

**Sorry about the long Author's Note guys. I hope you liked this chapter. I apologize for taking the review so seriously, I just don't find it to be very constructive criticism- just criticism. **

**Thanks to all who reviewed, favorited, and added to their Story Alert subscriptions. **

**Love,**

**Kylie**


	19. Explanation

**Author's Note: I've had some people say that they want bigger chapters and some that like the smaller chapters. So, I am going to make certain chapters a bit longer than others. Chapter 19 is pretty small so I will probably post both 19 and 20 at the same time. However, some chapters, (such as Chapters 23 and 24) will be pretty long! Because of the short chapters, this story will probably be pretty long… I can't really give you a good estimate right now but it will be over 40 chapters and quite possibly more.**

**Chapter 18 **

**Explanation**

"Lily?" Alice asked, shocked. "Lily, what happened?"

"James Potter! That's what happened," Lily exclaimed angrily. She felt terrible about losing control, and she was struggling to regain her composure.

"Err," Marlene stammered, looking about the room. "If I ask what he did, will you yell at me?" she squeaked, sounding a bit scared.

Lily sighed, "No. I'm sorry guys."

Marlene smiled a bit forcefully and said, "That's all right Lily. Come on, Alice; help us clean up."

Alice pulled Lily up from her small untouched circle on the floor and the three witches stood back to back, raised their wands, and used a non-verbal _Reparo!_

Objects slid around the room, sliding back into trunks, onto their places on the night stands, and under the bed. The ink siphoned off the wall and glopped back into its bottles. The torn pillows stitched themselves up after the feathers zoomed across the room back into the ripped pillowcases. The glass from the window flew up and the cracks disappeared until you couldn't even tell it had been broken, and the cracked cauldron repaired itself and zoomed back to its place in Marlene's trunk.

At last, the room was back to its normal, neat, state and it was then that Marlene turned around and asked the obvious question,_** very**_ cautiously.

"So Lily, what _**did**_ James do?"

Lily heaved another colossal sigh. "Well, he-he, that is, I… Okay, let me start from the beginning.

"After class, I ran to the bathroom because- well, I was just a bit overwhelmed is all. And I guess James saw me go in so he followed me."

At the mention of James' given name instead of using his last like Lily normally did, Alice and Marlene exchanged looks and raised eyebrows. Lily had paused and now they urged her onwards.

"Well, he came in after me- like I said and well, he-he tried to apologize again I guess. But, I told him to just leave me alone and then he- he asked why I was crying."

Lily looked at Alice and Marlene's faces and said angrily, "Well, what kind of person asks someone whose heart _**they**_ just broke why they're crying?"

"Obviously James Potter," Alice said, trying to boost Lily up.

"Yeah, apparently perfect Potter does…" Lily muttered furiously under her breath.

"So… continue," Marlene urged Lily.

"Yes, well, after he asked why I was crying… I- well, I kind of blew up at him," Lily squeaked, looking down at her shoes shame-facedly. "And well, I said some stuff and-"

"What kind of stuff?" Marlene asked suspiciously.

Lily turned bright red. "Well, you know, _**stuff**_."

"Such as?"

"Well, I'm, um, pretty sure I called him an arse, and said the f-word a few times, and told him I'd loved him but now I hated him and told him he had a miserable stone cold heart," Lily said very quickly.

"_**You said that to him?"**_ Marlene said, shocked.

"Well, yeah, something along those lines…" Lily trailed off. "But what else was I supposed to say! I just told him the truth…" she muttered.

"Okay…" Alice said, "Continue."

"Well, then after that he looked at me and well, I don't know what happened but- well, I don't – I mean- _**I don't even know what he's playing at!**_ Confusing me like that! Mixing up my feelings with his stupid hazel eyes and those dorky glasses and that messy hair of his and-"

"Lily…" Marlene looked at her.

"Oh yeah, so well, then he just- you know- kissed me."

Alice and Marlene's jaws dropped. "_**HE WHAT?**_" Alice thundered. "What the _**hell**_ does he think he's playing at?" she yelled angrily. "He can't do that! He can't- _**wait**_- Lily… why are you _**blushing**_?"

At this, Lily blushed even harder while staring firmly at the ground. "Lily! You didn't- you didn't…" Alice looked covertly around as if to check that no one was listening and then leaned in and whispered, "You didn't kiss him _**back**_, did you?"

"Well- I- he- I mean-" Lily stammered then sighed. "Yeah, I guess I did, sort of," she said quietly.

"_**LILY**_!" Marlene and Alice yelled in unison. "Lily, you _**didn't**_!"

"Yeah, I sort of did. But it's not my fault!" Lily protested. "The way he was looking at me… and the way he was kissing me… it made me feel like he still cared about me," she said quietly, looking at her shoes and scrunching up her toes inside of them.

Alice and Marlene's faces softened. "Oh, Lily," Marlene sighed. Then, she reached for her and the three girls had a big group hug.

"Lily, it's going to be fine- just fine," Marlene said.

"But what if it isn't?" Lily moaned. "And that's not even the end of it!"

"What did you _**do**_?" Marlene inquired, looking a bit sick.

"Well, after he kissed me- I was so indignant that I… slapped him."

To Lily's surprise, Alice and Marlene roared with laughter.

"No, Lily, you _**didn't**_!" Marlene cried, laughing hysterically.

"Well yeah, I kind of did," Lily said smiling now at her friend's laughter.

"I-I can just imagine his face!" Alice spluttered, rolling around on the floor. She paused for a minute and made a shocked face and then they all burst into laughter again. Five minutes later, when a First Year came to deliver a message to Lily, they were still rolling around on the floor, giggling. The First Year looked scared. Poor girl.


	20. It's A Date!

**Author's Note: Okay! So, a quick thing first. I'm doing NaNoWriMo! For those of you who don't know what NaNoWriMo is, it's basically a goal you set for yourself, as an author, to write a 50,000 word novel in ONE MONTH (November)! WHEW! That's a LOT of words and a very SHORT time! But, I'm determined! Of course, I will be using this story and possibly a new one if I need more space. This is great for all you WONDERFUL readers because you will be getting updates SUPER FAST! I will be pestering my beta and because I'm an absolutely amazing person, I might send her several chapters at once, ensuring quick updates for YOU! So, are you doing NaNoWriMo? Review/PM me, telling me if you are! I myself, am SUPER excited for it and I'm going to write my heart out for you guys! Tell me what you guys think of this next chapter and our new character! Like him, love him, or hate him? TELL ME! Sorry for the long notes! Read the bottom one though! It includes a SNEAK PEEK!**

**Disclaimer: I WILL WRITE MORE THAN 25% of 50,000 words in NaNoWriMo! Coincidentally (or maybe not at all), 25% is the amount of this story I own! YAY! **

**Chapter 20 It's A Date! **

The next day Lily finally felt better. Her heart was beginning to heal and as she stepped into the Great Hall for breakfast a pleasant surprise greeted her. "Lily! Hey, Lily!"

Lily turned, wondering who was calling her, and spotted Sam Bell waving at her from the Gryffindor table. She headed toward him, unsure of why he was calling her. She didn't know him that well and he was a year younger than her. Despite his being a Gryffindor, she hardly ever saw him. The most she knew about him was that he was the Seeker of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

"Hey, Sam," Lily said, approaching him. "What's up?"

It was early and there weren't many people in the Great Hall. Sam was sitting alone, with a book propped open in front of his morning bacon.

"Well," he said, sounding a slightly shy. "I was wondering if, you know, you might want to go to the Valentine's Dance with me? I mean- you don't have to if you don't want to, but I just thought- I mean, since you broke up with Captain- I mean James- that you might not have a date… and if you wanted to come with me, well, that would be really cool." He smiled up at her uncertainly.

Lily hesitated. She knew Sam was really very nice but she also wasn't sure if she should be going out with someone right after her break-up with James.

Sam noticed her hesitancy and quickly added, "But, you know, you just broke up with your boyfriend so, if you don't want to or whatever, don't feel like you have to."

He looked so disappointed and adorable that Lily felt her heart swell. Who was she to turn down his request? Maybe a new date, a new boyfriend, would keep her from thinking about… She smiled and looked down at Sam.

"No, Sam, I'd love to go with you." She grinned at him and he smiled back widely as she sat down next to him.

"Really? That's great! I mean, wow, thanks!" He reached over tentatively, and gave her a quick hug. She hugged him back and he blushed happily. "Well, in that case, if you want to go with me, what would you say to Hogsmeade next weekend? There's a trip so we can get ready for the dance and we could go together and help each other if you want to…" He smiled hopefully up at her.

"Sure!" Lily exclaimed joyfully. "Great! Meet me at the entrance hall before we leave for the village?"

"Sure, see you then," Sam replied easily.

Lily gave Sam a quick hug before she stood up to get her breakfast. As she walked away, she saw Sam's friends come in, and heard him telling them about his date. They all cheered and slapped him on the back, reminding her of that time in the train station… She pushed the thought out of her head. She had two brilliant dates coming up and she was **not** going to spoil them.

**SNEAK PEEK: READ THIS for a quick sneak peek on what's coming up! (Though not necessarily in this order) We have: some Sirius/Lily bonding time (STRICTLY AS FRIENDS), some more Sam Bell action (ooh la la), a treasure hunt, some poems, a fall to the death (!), some James JEALOUSY, and Lily tries to fly! The last one is very interesting! All that and more, right here! And, a future apology, my poems are not so great… my poetry skills… well, let's just say I'm not exactly Edgar Allan Poe. Just bear with me!**

**Love,  
>Kylie<strong>

**P.S. Right now I'm at 18,285 words and I want to make it to at least 50,000 by the end of the month of November. Mind you, I haven't posted all 18,285 of those words so you've got even more coming your way! Get ready to be AMAZED! **


	21. Friends and Dates

**Authors Note: Hey guys! Well, I just read the most AMAZING Lily/James one-shot. It was potent, romantic, humorous… I really recommend reading it even if you aren't a Lily/James fan (which you probably are, considering you're reading a Lily and James fanfic right now!). It's extremely good and I could really connect with the characters. Alright, I've built up the suspense long enough. The name of the fanfic is called ****Til Death**** and it's by WeasleyWannabee. Basically it's about Lily and James' death and what they would say to each other if they could, before they died. I'm not ashamed to admit, it made me blubber like a baby, even after telling myself I wouldn't. **

**I also have to apologize for not posting lately. After all, we're already on the fourth day of NaNoWriMo! Once again, if any of you have stories you want to share, let me know and I'll read them and post them here for my readers to see as well! Anyways, I promise I'll be posting more soon and as a reward you might even get TWO chapters next time. Might. You'll just have to wait and see. Well, on with the show!**

**Chapter 21 Friends and Dates**

Soon enough, Lily's friends joined her at breakfast.

"Lily! Hey, what are you doing up so early?" Alice asked.

"Yeah," Marlene added. "We woke up, and you were gone!"

"Well," Lily replied slyly. "I was getting a hot date." She winked at the girls. Their mouths dropped open and they immediately began barraging her with questions.

"Who is it? Is he cute?" Alice gushed.

Marlene, ever the practical one, asked, "Is he nice or is he a prick?"

"Is he on the Quidditch Team?" Alice practically drooled, fantasizing over guys with big abs and muscles.

"What position does he play?" Marlene inquired.

"Does he have big abs and muscles?" Alice asked.

Marlene and Lily exchanged looks then looked at Alice. Alice finally appeared to have realized what she said for she quickly slapped a hand over her mouth. "Umm… I didn't say that out loud, did I?"

"The thing about the big abs and muscles?" Marlene asked. "Because if that's what you meant, then no, no you didn't say that."

"Phew!" Alice cried. Then, Marlene's statement hit her. "Wait, _what_?"

But it was too late, Marlene was already spewing questions again and Alice, not wanting to be forgotten, immediately began asking more as well.

"Is he smart?"

"Is he a Gryffindor?"

"Well, if he's smart then he's probably a Ravenclaw," Marlene said logically.

"Nuh-uh!" Alice cried. "Gryffindor has smart guys!"

"Such as?"

"Such as… Remus!" Alice smiled triumphantly.

Marlene replied grudgingly, "I'll give you that one." She turned back to Lily. "Is he younger or older?" she asked.

Alice shook her head and asked the obvious question. "Enough! Lily, who is it?"

Lily smiled at her friends' antics and then said, "Sam Bell."

"Oh my gosh!" Alice looked as if she were about to gush over into a love potion. "Oh my gosh, Lily! He's so _cute_!"

"And so _young_!" Marlene cut in, shooting Lily a look.

"Oh, come off it Marlene!" Alice said. "He's only a Fifth Year!"

"Exactly! _He's only a Fifth Year_!" Marlene cried scandalously.

"He's only one year younger," Lily offered.

"_And_ he's on the Quidditch Team!" Alice supplied and lapsed into silence as if her proclamation settled the matter.

Marlene shook her head. "Alice, just because he's on the Quidditch Team doesn't make him a fabulous guy. I mean, look at Sirius Black or James-" She broke off nervously looking at Lily.

"It's fine," Lily assured her. "Go on with your apt disapproval of my date," she said, grinning.

"Well, I mean, just look at those pricks out there! You always see stupid Sirius Black swinging around his big bat like he's oh-so-cool. Don't even get me started on James Potter! Playing with that Snitch when he's not even the Seeker, or messing up his hair so it looks all 'windswept'." She shook her head disgustedly.

"But, Sam's not like that!" Alice protested. "He's so sweet!"

Marlene looked at Alice's determined face and Lily's pleading one, and then threw up her hands in the air exclaiming, "Oh, _fine_!"

"YAY!" Alice squealed and began bombarding Lily with questions about what they were doing, where they were going, etc.


	22. Practice

**Author's Note: Hello! I'm pleased to announce that I have posted TWO chapters today for your enjoyment because 22 was so utterly short. Sorry for that! I want to thank all of those who have reviewed so far and especially LittleRoma for being the first to Story Alert on the last chapter and mortalfire101 for being the first to review the last chapter. Thanks for your support guys! Now, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: You toss a quarter into a fountain and make a wish. That quarter symbolizes how much I own of this story! 25% people!**

**Chapter 22 Practice**

"Sam! You're flying great today!" James called out to Sam from across the Quidditch Pitch.

"I'm just in a good mood!" Sam hollered back.

"Why's that?" James asked more quietly, as he zipped up on his broom.

"I've got a date for the Valentine's Dance," Sam said happily.

"Oh, really? Who is it?" James asked slyly.

Sam grinned. "That's for me to know…" he started diving. "And you to find out!" he yelled as he pulled up just before he hit the ground, letting out a loud whoop of exhilaration.

James grinned and shook his head. Quidditch always managed to make him feel better and with his Seeker playing so well today, it seemed like nothing could go wrong.


	23. First Date

**Author's Note: So, I just wanted to tell ya'll two very important things. First, as of now, I have 32 reviews! YAY! Now, I know I'll probably never get to those big three digit numbers, but I have faith in you! Bring me to fifty people and I'll love you forever! I'll bring you COOKIES! ****and also, my computer is stuck on caps lock now… no, that's not what i wanted to tell you though. I WANTEd to tell you guys that we have reached 92 visitors in the month of november already! yeah! yay! go you guys! sorry for the caps lock… the button isn't working… *punches button angrily* SIgh.**

**Chapter 23 First Date**

As Lily stood in the Entrance Hall, she was reminded of her first date with- She stopped herself. Shaking herself slightly, she stretched up on her tippy toes to see if she could find Sam. Next thing she knew, someone was hugging her from behind.

"Hey," a deep voice said. She turned and found herself staring straight into the eyes of Sam Bell. Lily couldn't help but notice that his arm muscles were distinctly large and the feeling of them wrapped around her felt very, _**very**_ good. His eye were a deep blue with flecks of green and his stomach felt very hard underneath his shirt. "Hey," she replied, a bit breathlessly. A blush was growing in her cheeks and she felt very grateful when he let her go.

He was very tall. Even though he was a good year younger than her, he towered over her.

He put on his coat and as they headed out of the school, he reached down for her hand and took it. She smiled as she clasped hands with him.

It was early February and still quite cold. As they walked through the snow, Sam kept up a constant stream of questions.

"I want to know everything about you," he told her. Soon enough, they had developed a game of it. He asked a question and then she answered and asked a question.

"What's your favorite color?" he asked.

"Green, what's yours?

"Red. Why do you like green?"

"Because my eyes are green and I like them. Why do you like red?"

"Gryffindor colors. I would say gold, but red and gold are way too cliché together," he grinned.

Lily grinned back. "Do you have any siblings?"

"A little brother and sister. What about you?"

"An older sister. How old are your brother and sister?"

"My brother's ten and my sister's eight. How old is your sister?"

"Seventeen. What are your brother and sisters' names?"

"My brother's name is Aaron, and my sister's name is Sadie. Does your sister go to Hogwarts? What's her name?"

"Hey!" Lily laughed. "That's two questions! But, I'll let it slide," she winked. "No, she doesn't go to Hogwarts and her name is Petunia."

"Your parents like flowers."

"Umm… no… not really. Why would you think that?"

"Well, they named both their daughters after flowers."

Lily laughed. "What?" Sam asked indignantly.

"Nothing," she said and smiled.

They settled into silence as the village came into view. A few minutes later Sam broke the silence.

"Do you like your sister?" he asked quietly.

"No," Lily sighed. "Not really. I mean, I love her and all, but sometimes…" she sighed again.

"Hey, it's okay," Sam said, looking down at Lily and spying the water pooling in her eyes. "It's going to be all right," he said pulling her in for a tentative hug.

"It's just… sometimes, I think she hates me," Lily said softly as she pressed her face into Sam's warm coat.

"Lily," Sam said, pulling her out of the hug. "Trust me, no one could _**ever**_ hate _**you**_."

"Really?" Lily asked. "You think?"

"Yes," he replied, "Really."

Then, he leaned down and kissed her. The kiss was soft and sweet, and as Lily began to kiss him back softly, there were two thoughts running through her mind. The first was that Sam's kiss felt very good. The second was that while Sam's kiss felt very good, James' had felt better. But no- she couldn't think of that now. She banished all thoughts from her mind as she kissed Sam back.

At last, they drew back and stared at each other. "Thanks," Lily said softly.

"No problem," Sam smiled back at her. "Lily, you're amazing. I really, _**really**_ like you. So, will you be my girlfriend?" he added shyly.

"Yes, Sam. Of course," Lily replied and reached up and kissed him on the cheek.

Sam wiped a lone tear from her cheek and then said, "So, let's make this fun all right? Don't be sad."

"Okay," Lily said. How could she be sad around Sam? He was so happy and fun-loving.

As they started walking again they were oblivious to the figure watching them with cold fury from the woods.

**Authors Note: Hope you appreciate your little two chapter update here! I just sent out the next one to my beta. So… tell me what you think of these… I'm not sure how I feel about these… SO TELL ME! I'll be working on my story as much as possible this weekend because I have a four hour drive to Orlando (UNIVERSAL STUDIOS YEE!) from Miami, during which I will be WRITING like CRAZY! Thanks and please tell me what you think!**


	24. Love and Sorry

**Author's Note: Last weekend I went to Universal and saw a bunch of HP cast members! If you're interested, the story's below. WARNING: It's LOOOONG! Anyways, tell me what you think! Also, the llittle sign ~8), is Harry Potter- the scar, glasses, and smile. Haha, some people didn't know what it was so...**

**Chapter 25 **

**Love and Sorry**

Late that night, James sat with his head in his hands, his messy black hair standing on end as he ran a tired, anxious hand through it.

"James."

James didn't even look up. "Look, Moony. I swear if you tell me 'I told you so' or 'There's plenty of other fish in the sea' I _**will**_ kill you. Very slowly and painfully."

Remus gave a sad smile. "I wasn't going to say any of that."

"Well, good, because I can't put up with any of that crap right now."

"James, you're too late."

"For what? For everything?" James gave a humorless chuckle.

"No. You're too late for Lily."

"You don't think I know that?" James asked, finally looking up, his eyes full of distress and immeasurable sadness. "Look, I messed up, I know. But, I—I _**love**_ her, Remus. I can't stand seeing her with Sam. Sam- Sam is- Sam's supposed to be with _**me**_. I just— _**I just can't stand it!"**_ James let his head fall again, a single tear escaping his lashes and sliding down his cheek.

Remus sat down next to him and patted his back. "Hey mate, it's going to be okay, alright?"

"But you don't know that!" James wailed despairingly. "You can't possibly know that! Remus, you don't understand! You've never been in love! I—I just can't believe what I did! I was so incredibly selfish and I can't stand her thinking that of me. Remus—Remus you have to help me!"

"James," Remus paused and James looked up, the tiniest spark of hope lighting in his eyes. "James, I can't help you with Lily."

James ducked his head again, disappointed. Remus continued, "I won't do that to her. She's happy now—with Sam. If you truly love her, you'll back up and not take it out on her—or Sam. If you guys are meant to be, you'll find each other. Trust me, okay?"

James didn't look up. "James, trust me. I know what I'm doing. And you never know," he said, getting to his feet. "Lily may just realize she loves you too, someday. Just give her some time, okay?"

James nodded his head in defeat. "Alright. But I won't like it," he sighed heavily.

Remus nodded, and then climbed up the winding staircase to the boy's dormitories.

Soon, the Common Room gradually emptied, students heading off to retire to their dormitories for some much needed sleep or else, in some cases, to study crazily for the big Charms test tomorrow.

James knew he should be studying too, but he felt too confused and mixed-up to even try to. He knew he wouldn't get very far, anyway. Staring at the dying embers of the fire, he whispered quietly to himself, "I love you, Lily Evans. I'm _**so **_sorry."

~8)

**LILY**

Lily had been coming down to get her Charms textbook from the Common Room where she had left it earlier. She wanted to fit in some last minute studying before going to sleep. However, before she could make her way into the Common Room, she heard voices. Not wanting to intrude, she was about to make her way upstairs again and just borrow Alice's textbook, when she heard her name. In spite of herself, she stopped to listen.

"… may just realize she loves you too, someday. Just give her some time, okay?" a voice said. The voice was annoyingly familiar, but Lily just couldn't place it.

"Alright. But I won't like it," another voice replied, decidedly masculine.

Just then, one of the speakers appeared, heading quickly up the winding staircase to the boy's dormitories, but not before Lily spotted the sandy brown hair from her hiding place in the shadows.

_Remus? _she thought. _What was he doing? And who was he talking to?_ Her curiosity was strong but she could feel the terrible guilt from eavesdropping, so she headed up the staircase back to her warm four-poster to ponder these questions for the remainder of the night.

**Author's Note:So, my family decided to go to Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure last weekend because we had a three-day weekend. It turns out, there was a huge Harry Potter thing going on, which we didn't even know about! There were a bunch of cast members there from the HP films, and they were staying at our hotel! **

**Anyways, the first night we're there, we see these two HP fan girls and they tell us that there are HP cast members coming out of the hotel in the front! Of course, we immediately run over there. We see Luna Lovegood, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Ginny Weasley, Viktor Krum, and Bill Weasley get into these black vans, surrounded by security. Needless to say, my sister and I, huge HP dorks that we are, are ECSTATIC! I was a bit conflicted... Laugh in happiness... or cry because they were so close... yet so far?**

**We also saw... how do I say this politely... a little person (sorry, I don't know how to say it differently) and his family get into an elevator, but it was too full so we took the next one. A few minutes later, we see them walking across the plaza of the hotel and my dad says, "He's famous. We know him from somewhere." It turns out, he was Griphook, who also plays Professor Flitwick!**

**The next day we get to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter (have you been there? If not, you HAVE to go!) and we see a sign for Harry Potter Q & A. It turns out you have to pay for it, but they have some extra seats in the back so they let in a few people, us included! We get in and four cast members walk out onto the stage. It's Kingsley, Bill and Arthur Weasley, and Griphook/Professor Flitwick! They answer questions for about 45 minutes. We find out there's another Q & A later, with different cast memebers, and we decide we'll see if we can get into that one too.**

**When we come back, we and several other people manage to get in. This time, there are 7 chairs set up. Out comes, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Lavender Brown, Luna Lovegood, Cho Chang, and Fred and George Weasley!**

**They're funny and entertaining and we had a blast! Later, we head back to the hotel, ecstatic with joy. As we're heading over to get our car to go home, we pass the plaza where several outdoor restaurants are set up. There's Bill Weasley, having a glass of wine with some other guy! Incidentally, he also has a pack of cigarettes (what a great role model ;))**

**A brief mental battle ensues- should we go or will we just embarass ourselves? Then, we decide, who cares? and run over there. We ask him for his autograph, breathless and happy, and he gives it to us! All we had for paper was our Universal tickets, so he signed that. Mine says, "To Kylie, Lots of love," then his signature, and in parentheses, BILL, under it. It was possibly the best moment of my life.**

**Then, just as we're about to pull away from the hotel, we see Seamus Finnigan get out of a black van. My sister and I throw open the doors of the car and race up. We're about eight feet away from him! We just stare at him like, "OH MY GOSH! THAT'S SEAMUS FINNIGAN!" and for a moment, we make eye contact! I'm embarassed to admit... I waved a bit. He didn't wave back, but I swear, there was totally something there! ;)**

**Haha! Anyways, it was a GREAT day, and probably the best day of my life. I was in heaven. I've told almost everyone I know who's a HP fan (and some who aren't) about it! It was just SO FREAKING AMAZING!**

**Sorry, if I'm being braggy... it was just so cool!**

**Thanks for putting up with all my bragginess (which is TOTALLY a word)!**

**Love,**

**Kylie**


	25. Valentine's Day

**Authors Note: WARNING: MUCH CHEESY FLUFFINESS AHEAD!**

**Chapter 26 **

**Valentine's Day**

Lily came down to breakfast on Valentine's Day with a grin pasted on her face. She had bought Sam the most perfect gift. She smiled down at the package on her lap, a large bow tied around the top.

Lily gazed around at the extravagant decorations. Large pieces of red and pink confetti drifted around the tables, little heart decorations sang out love poems as you walked by, and the tables were decorated with creamy pink tablecloths.

Just then, Sam walked in with his friends. He looked around quickly for Lily, spotted her, and raced up to her. Immediately, he pulled her up off her seat and kissed her passionately. Catcalls and whistles filled the air, but the couple had only eyes for each other.

"So what was _**that**_ for?" Lily asked Sam, after they broke apart, her eyes sparkling with happiness.

"Can't a guy just kiss his girlfriend for no reason at all?" Sam asked, smiling back at her.

"Well, if I got as big of a welcome every day, I might be in a better mood, you know," she retorted.

"So, my kisses _**do**_ put you in a good mood!" Sam said slyly.

"I never said that!" Lily protested indignantly.

"Oh, I believe you did!"

The couple kept bickering jokingly as they sat down to breakfast together, completely oblivious to the messy-haired teen standing in the entrance way of the Great Hall, cracking his knuckles threateningly.

~8)

"Prongs! _**Prongs!**_ Calm _**down**_!" Sirius shook James' shoulder violently.

"He—he—_**why that little**_—what makes him think—who wants to see—UGH!" James moaned. "How can Sam, _**our Sam**_, be dating, _**Lily**_? It's just not right!"

"Well, to be fair mate, you _**did **_dump her in front of half the school, you know," Sirius said unhelpfully. James waved off his statement, as if it were of no consequence.

"Oh, what_**ever**_! I'm sick of everyone bringing that up!" he complained, still staring at Lily as they made their way over to a table.

"Well, you did sort of break her heart," Remus supplied.

James waved that off too, glaring at the happy couple from across the table. "Look at them, laughing about that stupid joke he's always telling about the Seeker and the Hag!" he spat, looking murderous.

"I thought it was funny," Peter said softly. James turned and glared at him. Quickly, Peter cowered and hid behind Remus.

"Oh, James, get a hold of yourself! Look, you're the most sought after guy in school-" Remus was cut off abruptly as Sirius clutched his heart dramatically and cried, "Remus! You _**mock **_me!"

Remus stared at Sirius, confused. "How _**dare**_ you!" Sirius yelled, attracting stares from many people. "How could you commit such a terrible sin? Why don't you rip my heart out and stomp on it?" he asked, in a rather overly dramatic tone.

"What, Sirius? What did I do?" Remus asked exasperatedly.

"You- you," Sirius lowered his voice to a still rather loud stage whisper and looked around covertly as if to check that no one was watching, even though everyone was. "You called _**James**_the most sought after guy in school!"

"So?" Remus asked, not understanding the problem.

"_**SO?**_" Sirius yelled; his voice, already way too loud, escalated. "_**SO**_? You _**MOCK**_ me _**again**_!" he shouted, now standing on the table.

"_**Sirius**_! _**Get off the table**_! So what if I called James the most sought after guy in school?"

"_**So what?**_ So what, is that _**James**_ is not the most sought after guy in school! _**I**_ am!" Sirius cried.

"Fine, fine! You're the most sought after guy in school!" Remus said quickly.

"Oh, okay," Sirius said calmly. He sat down and began gnawing on a piece of bacon. His mood swings were not unexpected anymore, and the rest of the school chuckled and went back to their meals, quickly starting up new conversations.

James had been staring at Lily and Sam the whole time and had noticed they hadn't even looked at Sirius, too wrapped up in their little bubble. He watched as Lily presented Sam with his present, a new pair of flexible, leather Seeker's gloves—the latest design that was ridiculously hard to get. He watched Sam's excited face and Lily's joy-filled one as Sam took in the gloves, trying them on and flexing his fingers. He was still watching as Sam turned and kissed her deeply again. He could feel his muffin crumbling in his hand but he couldn't seem to stop his fist from tightening.

Remus looked over and spotted James' shaking fist, the muffin crumbs scattered all over his plate, and the kissing couple. He put two and two together and eased back into their previous conversation. "James," he said. "James, James? JAMES!" he repeated until at last James turned to look at him.

"What?" James snapped, looking quite annoyed.

"As I was saying," Remus continued. "You need to pull yourself together. You're the _**second **_(here he shot Sirius a look and Sirius nodded happily) most sought after guy in school! You've got to get it together! The Valentine's Dance is tonight—you should bring a date."

"I'm not going," James muttered, still shooting the happy couple dark looks.

"Well, you are now," Remus replied. "Look, Lindsay McElroy had been eyeing you for the past half hour." He gestured to a pretty blonde with curly hair at the far end of the table who was indeed watching James out of the corner of her eye. "Why don't you ask her out?"

"I don't want to go with Lindsay," James mumbled. "I went out with her in Third Year, remember?"

"Honestly, no," Remus replied. "You've been with way too many girls. Anyways, she seems to want a second chance."

"No," James said firmly.

"Fine. How about Jessica Parson? She's nice."

"Jessica's a snob, Remus. You know that."

"Ugh! I'm just trying to help, you know!"

"_**Fine**_! You want me to ask someone?"

"_**YES!**_"

"Fine."

James stood up and began to walk toward Lily. "Oh Merlin, no! Tell me he's not going to ask Lily!" Remus said, putting his hands over his eyes.

Sirius grimaced. "Yup, he is." His grimace turned to a frown as Sam stood up, poking his finger into James' chest, gesticulating wildly. James shook his finger in Sam's face before jabbing himself in his chest with it.

"I'm pretty sure Sam just got really mad and James threatened to take him off the Quidditch Team because he's the Captain," Sirius winced.

"Oh Merlin, no!" Remus groaned.

"Oof! That looked like it hurt," Sirius cringed, watching as Lily and Sam stalked away, after Lily stopped to slap James across the face.

Peter squeaked frightfully.

James came back slowly, a defeated look on his face, as well as a slap mark. "There. You happyA now, Remus?" he asked, before walking away.

Remus shook his head regretfully. "I never told him to ask _**Lily**_ out. That was just plain stupid."


	26. Dresses, Shoes, and More!

**Chapter 27 Dresses, Shoes, and More!**

Lily was thrilled with Sam's reaction to her gift. Since their trip to Hogsmeade, after she had found out how great of a guy he was and that they were spending Valentine's Day together, she had pre-ordered the gloves. She was glad she had, because it was worth it to see Sam's face.

He still hadn't given her a gift yet, though he assured her he did have one for her. She was just going to have to wait and be patient. Unfortunately, Lily wasn't good at being patient.

She kept springing the question on him randomly, hoping he'd be too flustered to forget he wasn't supposed to tell her. He had almost once, but he had caught himself just in time. It was after they had been kissing when she whispered into his ear her question. The feel of her breath on his ear almost seduced him into telling her but he soon recovered himself.

After classes, Lily headed up to her dorm to get ready for the Dance, anticipating her friends' eager help. She already knew what she was wearing and she was excited to see what Sam thought of her strapless white dress with the red sash.

The girls convened in the bathroom and Lily changed into her dress first. As the girl's oohed and ahhed over her stunning dress, they quickly began helping her with her make-up and hair. Marlene carefully styled Lily's hair into a gently curly ponytail with tendrils of hair floating out, wreathing her face, while Alice applied a touch of blush, some green eye shadow, black eye liner to bring out the brilliant green in her eyes, and a touch of pink lipstick.

Next, Alice pulled on her own creamy pink dress that floated about her like a princess's dress, and Marlene donned a deep red, slinky dress, letting her dark hair hang loose for the first time. Alice was going with her sweetheart, Frank Longbottom, a Ravenclaw, whom she'd been crushing on since First Year. Marlene was going with William Rodiles, a Gryffindor as well, who was very sweet.

At last, the shoes came on. Lily put on a pair of red heels, Alice a pair ofsimple pink flats that matched her dress, and Marlene a pair of red, strappy, heeled shoes.

Finally, the girls were done. After a quick once-over in the mirror, they deemed themselves appropriate and walked out to meet their dates. 


	27. The Dance

**Chapter 28 **

**The Dance**

As Sam and William were Gryffindors, they were sitting in the Common Room together, probably talking about Quidditch. William was one of the Beaters on the Team, in addition to Sirius, so he and Sam were getting along rather nicely. Frank, as a Ravenclaw, wasn't allowed inside of the Tower, so he and Alice had made an arrangement to meet outside the portrait hole. Fortunately for him, Sam had let him in the Common Room knowing that Frank was going with Alice, and she would want to see him right away.

The sound of clicking heels on the stair made the three boys look up. Slowly, they watched their dates walk down the stairs in awe.

Lily, the last one to step off the stairs, spotted the boys dumb expressions and open mouths and said, "Can't a girl get a date around here?"

Almost immediately, the boys hurried to their dates and quickly took their arms with murmured apologies and compliments.

"Lily…" Sam breathed as he took her arm. "You look gorgeous."

"So, I don't every day?" Lily asked jokingly.

Looking horrified at his mistake he quickly said, "No, I only meant-" He stopped as Lily placed a finger over his lips and said, "I was only joking, you great prat."

Sam smiled back at her and took her arm. As they headed down to the Dance, Lily said, "And for the record, you look stunning too." Sam looked down at his tuxedo and red tie and blushed. "Not half as good as you, love."

Lily smiled beautifully at him and they made their way into the Great Hall, which had been decorated for the Dance.

White, pink, and red lights searched the dance floor as music flooded through the room, coming from the band playing from the front. Pieces of heart-shaped confetti fell randomly out of the depths of the ceiling, raining down on the couples on the dance floor. Soft pink and white lights glowed around the Hall and led out to the garden.

As the music pounded through their blood, they all began to dance. Lily grinned at Sam as a slow dance started, and the couple swung around slowly to the melodic tune. They all danced with each other, and others too.

The minutes gradually turned to hours and soon the couple had retired from the dance floor and now sat at a table together, panting slightly.

Sam stood up to make his way to the punch table. Lily watched him go with a smile on her face. The next thing she knew, Remus and Sirius were sitting next to her. She looked at them, the smile sliding right off her face.

"What do _**you**_ want?" she asked in a slightly strangled voice.

"Just to talk," Remus said in a gentle voice. Lily glanced nervously at Sirius. He looked as if he would rather do much more than talk. His eyes were narrowed as he glared at Lily, and she found herself consciously edging her seat towards Remus.

"About what?" she asked.

"About James." Lily flinched a bit at his name but tried to pass it off as nothing. Unfortunately, neither Remus nor Sirius missed it. Sirius' eyes softened a bit and he said softly, "Look, Lily. You hurt him and-"

"_**What?**_" Lily's eyes blazed in outrage. "_**I**_ hurt _**him**_? Oh, that's _**rich**_! Especially coming from you, _**Black**_," she spat. She stood up and began to walk toward Sam, who had paused and was talking to William by the drinks table.

"No! Lily, wait!" Remus called desperately.

Lily spun around. "Give me one reason why I should."

"Do it- do it for _**me**_, Lily."

She froze, then slowly turned around ."You're bloody lucky it's _**you**_, Remus," she replied nastily, sitting down.

"As Sirius was saying, whether or not you believe it—you _**did**_ hurt James. Just as James hurt you," he quickly added as Lily's expression turned angry. She nodded stiffly, waiting for him to continue.

"The fact is, James was a prick. But now he's finally realized how he feels and he really wants to make amends with you."

"Well, maybe he should have realized that before he told me he loved me and then broke up with me."

Remus looked astonished. "I didn't know he said that…" he trailed off quietly.

"Yeah, well, he did. What a shocker: he didn't mean it. So, to be honest, I could care less what he has to say and Remus, in all honesty, I don't really care what you have to say either, if it's about Potter. So, just leave me alone, okay?" She began to walk off again, feeling the salty tears in her eyes. She wiped them away as she approached Sam and smiled at him.

Sirius walked past her and she heard him mutter, for her only, "He only did it because he was scared."

"Oh yeah, scared of what?" she hissed after him.

He turned slowly. "Of rejection," he replied softly.

A dozen emotions flitted across Lily's face before she managed to collect herself. By that time, Sirius was gone. Turning back to Sam, she rested her head on his shoulder as she watched the dancers. Soon enough, the Quidditch talk ended and Sam led her off to a table.

"Lily, what's wrong?" he asked, noticing her glazed eyes.

"Nothing, nothing," she replied vaguely. He frowned, but didn't question her. Instead, he pulled out a long box from his jacket pocket and handed it to her, successfully breaking her trance.

"Oh Sam," she said. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"That's only the first part," he grinned at her.

She smiled at him and opened the box. She gasped as she saw what it contained. Inside the velvet box was a beautiful necklace with a delicate lily pendant hanging in the middle. "Sam…" she breathed, staring in awe at the gorgeous necklace.

"Here, let me," he said, taking the box out of her hands and gently taking the necklace out of it. He stood and walked around behind Lily. Carefully, he lifted her hair up from her neck and placed it over her shoulder. Then, he clasped the necklace and let the delicate golden chain fall against her neck. As he walked back to his chair, he let his fingers trail over the back of her neck gently. She shivered in response and he grinned at the effect he had on her.

"Do you like it?" he asked her, a flash of worry crossing his face.

"Oh Sam… I _**love**_ it!" Lily replied, enthusiastically wrapping her arms around his neck for a big hug and kiss.

**JAMES**

Just at the moment, James walked into the Hall, searching for Sirius and Remus. When he spotted Lily and Sam hugging, he was overcome with anger. With the music hammering inside his head and the blood pounding in his ears, he strode angrily over to Lily and Sam. Luckily, Sirius and Remus had spotted him and managed to push their way through the crowd to intercept him.

"Whoa!" Remus stepped in front of James first, Sirius close behind.

"Guys, I don't have time for this," James replied impatiently, seeing red.

"Come on James, they're only hugging," Remus began. He paused as James nodded sharply to the couple. "Oh… and snogging… but, James come on, just sit down."

"I don't have time for this!"

"Yes, James, you do. Now, come on, sit down…" Remus began to guide James toward an empty table but James was fighting him. "No! Remus, get out of my way!"

"James!" Remus said pleadingly. But James wasn't listening. He was now pushing Remus along with him, Remus' shoes squeaking against the floor as he tried to find traction.

"Sirius!" Remus cried desperately and Sirius stepped in, pushing James back and into a chair. Slowly, the red mist began to disappear from his eyes and he began to take deep, shuddering breaths, still staring at Lily and Sam who were cuddling together a few tables away.

"James. You need to calm down!" Remus said, his hair sticking up in odd tufts. That's when James noticed the gray circles and haggard look on Remus' face. Immediately, he felt guilty. Remembering that Remus' transformation was indeed that week, he meekly ducked his head. "Sorry, Remus," he sighed gustily.

"So, _**I**_ don't get an apology?" Sirius said jokingly. James offered a small smile and a murmured apology. "Can we just go?" he asked.

"Yes!" Remus and Sirius replied at the same time, relieved.

"Sirius, you take him up and I'll go say goodbye to our dates," Remus said, disappearing into the crowd.

Sirius helped James up and they exited the Great Hall together; James hunched over with sadness and Sirius with a frown on his face.


	28. The First Clue

**Chapter 29 The First Clue**

As Lily and Sam exited the Great Hall sometime later, Sam leaned down and whispered in her ear, "It's time for the rest of your present."

Lily had almost forgotten about the other half of her present and now she could feel the excitement welling up in her. "Well, where is it?" she demanded.

"Come with me," he told her, leading her into an empty classroom by the hand. He sat her down on one of the desks in front of the professor's desk and then instructed her to close her eyes. He let go of her hand and then leaned down and kissed her softly and slowly. True to her word, Lily kept her eyes closed, even after the kiss.

"Mmm…" she sighed happily. "Was that it?"

"No," Sam replied, laughing. "Though if my kiss is that good, I might just get you that next Valentine's Day."

Lily shivered with happiness at the implication that they would be together next year. Feeling joyful, she kept her eyes tightly shut. She could hear chalk dancing quietly against the blackboard and she wondered what Sam was writing.

At last, she felt Sam's lips descend on hers again and she leaned into the kiss. Surprised, she opened her eyes and looked around. Sam was gone. Glancing at the blackboard, she saw what Sam had written. Pausing, she looked it over.

_Dear Lily,_

_My present to you is a hunt. For what? A treasure. I'll leave you guessing on that; I know how much you love secrets. _(Lily smiled at that, knowing that Sam knew how much she hated not knowing things.)

_So, here's the first part of my gift to you:_

_Somewhere in Gryffindor,_

_Lies a cloak, folded four. _

_Not in mine, nor in yours,_

_But rather in both of ours._

_Find it and my heart is yours._

_It will protect you from searching eyes_

_And dangers that would hide._

_Somewhere buried where things die_

_And where the mold will always thrive_

_Lies the cloak, folded four,_

_Somewhere in_

_Gryffindor_

Lily smiled at the blackboard, committing the words to memory. It was so sweet how he had made the little poem for her.

Smiling to herself, she ran out of the room, her feet flying beneath her as she raced to Gryffindor Tower. She didn't know the answer yet, but it was obviously in the Tower. As she pushed open the portrait hole, she glanced around the common room as though she expected to see the object lying on the couch or sitting on the table. Smiling at her foolishness, she thought of the riddle again.

"_Somewhere buried where things die,_

_And where the mold will always thrive"…_

Maybe it was buried in the depths of one of their trunks! She was about to race upstairs when she remembered:

"_Not in mine, nor in yours"…_

She sighed with frustration and grabbed a nearby piece of parchment and quill that someone had left lying about. She quickly copied down the riddle again.

Maybe she needed to figure out what it was before she could find it…

"_It will protect you from searching eyes,_

_And dangers that would hide"_

"_Lies a cloak, folded four."_

All of these lines were clues as to what it was. It seemed to be some sort of cloak and it would "protect you from searching eyes".

_Let's see,_ Lily thought. _A cloak that protects you… A cloak that hides you… a cloak that renders you invisible… _

"Yes!" Lily pumped the air with her fist, attracting some odd stares from other people sitting in the Common Room for some late night studying. Uncaring, Lily turned back to the parchment.

_An invisibility cloak! _It seemed so obvious now!

_Okay, now where in Gryffindor do things die and mold always thrive?_

All of a sudden, inspiration struck Lily. Could it possibly be? Each corridor had a broom closet, but no one ever went into any of them. Could the cloak be in there? It made sense…

Lily stood abruptly and hurried to the staircases. Now, she was faced with another problem. In which closet would it be in?

"_Not in mine, nor in yours, _

_But rather in both of ours"_

Lily frowned, scanning the poem again. Nothing jumped out at her. Then, it all clicked.

Grinning, she raced out of the Tower and hurried down to the Quidditch Pitch. The night air was thick and still and the cool breeze felt refreshing. She burst through the doors to the Locker Rooms and immediately spotted a note, seemingly balancing in mid-air. She grabbed the invisible bundle under the note and threw it over herself. Checking herself in the mirror (courtesy of Sirius and his luxurious locks), she deemed herself perfectly invisible. Slowly, she began to unroll the next roll of parchment…


	29. Clue Number Two Part 1 of 2

**Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in such a long time! I've been really busy though! Last Friday, I went camping with a club at my school and I got sick :( I've been in bed since I came home early from the trip on Saturday. I confess, I feel terrible because I didn't complete NaNoWriMo :( I feel like a failure, but I really have to thank all of you awesome guys for your support! I haven't been writing much lately, but I'm going to do some editing/writing today, so YAY! And, BIG NEWS guys! We have reach 44 reviews! YES! *crowd cheers enthustiasically* Let's get that to 50, people! Thanks and love you all!**

**Special thanks to Sam Storsky and Arianna Lovegood for reviewing the last chapter (but come on guys! We can do better than two reviews can't we? *puppy dog eyes*)! Anyways, they both left super awesome reviews and I will be sending them invisible cupcakes because of their awesomeness! I noticed though that I've never gotten over four reviews per chapter. I'm so happy we've gotten to 44, but could we do a bit better guys? Sorry, I don't want to be one of those review-obsessed overbearing authors... I just like reviews! So take the time to review guys!**

**Love you guys forever!**

**Kylie**

**Chapter 30 **

**Clue Number Two Part 1 of 2**

_Dear Lily,_

_You've found the second clue. You will have four more clues to solve before you can finally get your treasure. I know you're dying to know what it is. Here's the second clue for you:_

The night was dark as Lily pored over the tiny parchment, trying to figure out the next clue.

_Now here you are_

_ The second clue_

_ So do your best to find me._

_ Put on the cloak_

_ Head into the night_

_ And find my letter, quick, tonight._

_ It will be hidden among the rings_

_ But if you try, you will succeed._

_ Take off into the night _

_ High up in the sky._

_ Find clue number one_

_ It will be waiting for you._

_ With all my love,_

_ Sam_

Following the poem's instructions, Lily donned the cloak and exited the locker room. With her wand lit, she walked into the night, still scanning the poem.

~8)

Up in the Common Room, Sirius watched from the window as the door to the Locker Rooms was opened and closed by a shadowy figure. He was still watching when it opened again a few minutes later, seemingly on its own. Knowing it must be someone invisible, he immediately thought of James. But no; James was in bed. Frowning, he grabbed his sweater and the Marauder's Map and headed down to the Quidditch Pitch.

~8)

_Well, what the heck did that mean?_ Lily thought, grimacing at the piece of parchment in her hand. _"…Hidden among the rings, but if you try, you will succeed_," Lily muttered to herself. Rings, flying... Oh no. He couldn't expect her to—he wouldn't. But the truth was, he would. Lily groaned and hung her head. _Shoot._

Scowling, she crossed the Quidditch Pitch and headed to the broom shed where all the old brooms were kept.

~8)

As Sirius jogged down the stairs, he unfolded the Marauder's Map and whispered, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Ink spread over the map, bringing it to life. Sirius clambered through a secret passage behind a painting and began to hurry forward, crouching because of the low ceiling.

~8)

"Oh Sam, you are going to pay for this," Lily muttered, darkly staring at the broom in the shed. Sam had left her his broom, a sleek Fleetwood 5000. She pulled it out and walked to the center of the Quidditch Pitch. Squinting, she scanned the rings for the next clue. Seeing nothing, she braced herself and straddled the broom. Gulping nervously, she cautiously kicked off from the ground.

~8)

"_Lumos_," Sirius whispered as he hurried along the passageway. A bright light issued from the point of his wand and he pressed it toward the map, scanning the Quidditch Pitch. There: footsteps! Lily Evans… wait, _**what**_? Lily Evans. There it was, written in solid black script, obviously Moony's handwriting. Sirius was so surprised he stopped dead and straightened, hitting his head on the shallow ceiling.

"Aw, hell," he muttered, rubbing his head. He glanced down at the map again. It still said Lily Evans. What would Evans want on the Quidditch Pitch at a time like this? And why, and how, was she invisible? Even more confused, Sirius set off again, his footsteps echoing on the stone floor.

~8)

Lily had left the cloak on the ground, folded neatly with the second and first clues on top of it. As she rose steadily, she was surprised to find that the broom was actually almost easy to handle. _**Almost**_. Unfortunately, Lily had neither skill nor the experience to handle a broom.

At first, she was rising much too slowly, so she cautiously pulled up on the broom. Immediately, the broom shot up. Her eyes wide with terror, her heart pounding in her throat, the blood throbbing in her ears, and her mouth gaping wide in horrified fear, Lily yanked the broom down. The broom began to go into a steep dive and Lily managed to pull up just in time.

Finally leveling the broom, she waited for her heart to stop its frantic pounding and for the ringing in her ears to fade before she began to move forward again. Moving in short starts and stops, she made her way to the first goal post.

~8)

Sirius emerged onto the grounds by the Forbidden Forest and began to head toward the Quidditch Pitch. He moved noiselessly, the springy grass cushioning his feet as he extinguished his wand tip with a quick, "_Nox._"

~8)

Lily finally made her way to the first goal post. Exhaling sharply, she realized she'd been holding her breath. She took several steady, deep breaths and slowly removed one hand from the broom to feel the ring.

By now, it was so dark she couldn't even see it. Her feeling of trepidation mounted as she realized she would now need one hand free so she could light her way with her wand. Taking more deep breaths, she felt the goal post all around. Nothing. Frowning, she urged the broom onwards slowly toward the second goal post.

~8)

Sirius finally reached the Quidditch Pitch, ten minutes after he'd first seen Lily. Lighting his wand, he looked up, surprised to find Lily sweeping her hand around the first goal post.

~8)

At first, Lily didn't realize there was another light being trained on her as her own wand was lit. When she did realize it, however, she was so surprised that she cried out and tried to spin around. Unfortunately for her, it is quite hard to turn around on a broom. Losing her balance, she began to fall, screaming in terror.


	30. Clue Number Two Part 2 of 2

**Author's Note: So... I got a review last time from 'anonymous'. They doubted Sam having an Invisibility Cloak (as they're quite, as they said, expensive). Well, since it was written anonymously I couldn't reply so I'm doing it here. Anyways... Sam is actually from a pretty wealthy family. He's not Potter wealthy... but well, he's pretty up there. Plus... Invisibility Cloaks are just so COOL! :D Sorry... I have childish fantasies sometimes- most often about going to Hogwarts. Also, I think you could find a pretty inexpensive one if you wanted in the bad areas of town... not that I'm saying Sam would go there! Just that he could have.**

**For your added entertainment today I have included another lovely disclaimer! I thought of a few a while ago, and so you get another few chapters of tortur- I mean HILAIRIOUS disclaimers! Haha!**

**Disclaimer: You feed a dollar into the vending machine for a 75 cent (They should really add a cent sign to the keyboard- dollar signs have them... what's with the prejudice against cents? Haha, that sounded funny... like, they have something against cents... like sense... Okay, sorry- back to the disclaimer!) As I was saying, for a 75 cent bottle of coke (though we all know cokes aren't that inexpensive anymore.) and out comes the coke... and NO CHANGE! How outrageous! You slam the vending machine back and forth until it falls on you! Oops... Haha... No, it doesn't fall on you... Because if you're under a vending machine, you can't review (and we all know you want to ;D)! Anyways, people, by now you should know- the 25 cents that hasn't fallen out is MINE! I'm like the vending machine in this case, I like to swallow up money! Haha! Well, this has been a REALLY long disclaimer so on with the story!**

**P.S. Does anyone ever really want to make Harry Potter jokes in class, but then realize that everyone else will probably have no idea what you're talking about? That happens to me a lot. :D**

**Chapter 31 **

**Clue Number Two Part 2 of 2**

Sirius' eyes widened as he watched Lily try to turn around, startled by his light. He watched as she began to fall, her screams echoing in his ears.

Then, he sprang into action. Racing toward her, he quickly began muttering an incantation to slow her fall. As Lily slowed, he dived and caught her, tackling her to the ground and rolling so their bodies would absorb the shock of hitting the ground. Lily ended up under him, her eyes stretched wide in terror.

"Evans? Evans, are you okay?" Sirius asked her worriedly.

Lily could feel the shock setting in and found she couldn't respond to Sirius.

"Bloody hell," Sirius breathed. "Come on, Evans. Don't go into shock. Come on, it's going to be okay. Evans! Evans! LILY!" he bellowed as her eyes began to flutter shut.

At the sound of his loud voice, Lily's eyes snapped open.

"What…?" she looked around, her eyes holding nothing but confusion as she began to shuffle backwards. Sirius threw back his head and laughed in relief.

"Oh, thank you, Merlin!" he cried, his shoulders shaking as he laughed harder.

Lily stared at him, disturbed. "Black, are you okay?" she asked him, her eyes narrowed with suspicion.

Finally calming down, Sirius told her what had happened. "Oh that's right!" Lily cried. The broom had glided down and was now floating in the air gently. She grabbed for it rather woozily and tried to get back onto it.

Immediately, Sirius grabbed her and pulled her back. "Nuh-uh," he said, sternly. "'Friends don't let friends drive drunk,'" he quoted.

"Okay, first of all, since when are we friends, Black?" Lily asked, though not unkindly. "And second of all, why the heck are you even down here?"

Sirius cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, in answer to your first question, it was just a quote, though if you want to be friends… we could be… I suppose."

Lily looked surprised but didn't comment.

"And in answer to your second question… Well, I can't tell you."

As Lily opened her mouth to protest, he quickly added, "It's a Marauder secret. I swore an oath." He looked so solemn, Lily almost wanted to laugh. "But, it's not like I'm stalking you or anything," Sirius tacked on.

"Um… okay. Good, I guess," Lily replied, a bit confused and still finding his solemnity rather funny.

"What? Not sure if you want me to stalk you or not?" Sirius asked, a mischievous light dancing in his eyes.

"What? No!" Lily cried in a high-pitched voice, blushing. "And I didn't know you wanted to be friends," she added slyly.

Sirius wrinkled his nose then grinned wickedly. "Well, we could always say we're friends to cover up the fact I'm stalking you."

Lily snorted. Sirius grinned at her. "You're welcome for saving you, by the way."

"Oh, of course!" Lily exclaimed, looking rather appalled at her lack of manners. "Thank you… Sirius. I really don't know what would have happened if you hadn't caught me."

Sirius grinned. "No problem… Lily."

As he helped her up, he asked, "So, why were you down here anyways, Ev- I mean, Lily. Wow, it's going to take time to get used to that." Hhe shook his head. "Well?"

Lily felt a slight flush creep up her neck and was glad it was dark. "Well, it's kind of stupid, actually. No, it's not stupid. Just… well, _**you'll**_ think it's stupid."

"Naw, I won't."

**(Author's Note: READ THE NOTE AT THE END)**

"Yes, you will." She paused for a moment, weighing his possible reactions. "But I'll tell you anyways. Okay, so you know Sam, right? My boyfriend?"

Sirius' eyes darkened slightly at the mention of Sam's name, but he said, in as normal a voice as he could manage, "Yeah, I know him."

"Well, he kind of set up this little treasure hunt for me, as a present you know, for Valentine's Day."

"Uh-huh."

"And well, the first clue was to find this Invisibility Cloak." Here she pointed at the Cloak lying on the ground, underneath the first two clues. "And the second clue was to find this letter, on one of the goal posts."

"Well, doesn't he know you're a rubbish flyer?" Sirius asked skeptically.

"He knows I'm not great… but he wasn't here for the lessons, you know, in First Year, and I've never been on a broom again, so… he doesn't know I'm _**that **_bad."

Sirius looked at her. "All this, for what?"

"Um… I don't really know…" Lily trailed off, embarrassedly.

Sirius laughed. "All this, for _**nothing**_?"

"No!" Lily said, defensive. "I'm sure there'll be _**something.**_ I just don't know _**what**_ yet."

Sirius laughed some more. He had a deep, rumbling laugh, coming from deep in his chest and Lily found herself enjoying her time with Sirius. She shook her head. _Who would have thought __**I **__would ever be friends with __**Sirius Black**__? _she thought to herself amusedly.

Noticing her shake of the head, Sirius asked, "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just… who would have every thought _**we**_ would be friends?"

Sirius chuckled. "I know, right? It's so weird!"

Lily smiled in response. "So, you going to help me get on this thing or what?" she asked.

"Nope. I'm going to go find you your bloody clue, so you don't kill yourself," Sirius said. "I won't be here all the time, you know."

Lily grinned. "My hero!" she proclaimed dramatically.

"Just doing my job," Sirius winked and threw one leg over the broom. Kicking off, he soared up to the goal posts to search for Lily's clue while Lily stared enviously at the easy way he flew.

Within a few minutes, after checking the goal posts on the other side of the Pitch, Sirius soared down, clue in hand.

As he handed it to Lily, she stared at it, slightly nervous. It was an envelope with the single word "**MEET**" written across it in large letters.

"Oh, go on! Open it!" Sirius urged.

With shaking hands, Lily slid her finger under the seal and peeled open the envelope…

**Author's Note: Okay, so don't hate me for sneaking in that little Author's Note in the middle... which led you to read this one. I just wanted you to read it, and I thought it was pretty clever. Okay, enough blowing up my already over-large head. **

**So, I'm writing a new story- of sorts. It's not a Harry Potter, unfortunately. In fact, it's not a FF at all. It's my own story, my own idea, and I want to see how it goes. Don't worry, I'll still be writing What's Left of Me just as much though! I thought of the idea and I figured, what the heck? Let's try it! So, here's a brief summary. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, find the amazingness I know you have in all your hearts to review or PM **me telling me what you think of the idea. I don't know if it's really stupid, but I wanted to try it. So here it is:****

_The prize is set. One month on the Mainland. And everyone wants it. The race is on._

_Lila Skye has always longed to go to the Mainland. It's always been a place of wonder and magic for her. Now, she finally has the chance to get to it. The only thing blocking her way is The Race. The Race's rules are simple. One- You have to be a Cloud-Stepper. Two- Anything goes. Lucky for Lila, she's a Cloud Stepper, and she'll do anything to get to the Mainland._

_Kai Darya has always loved the ocean. The feel of the sea rocking a boat, the spray on the wind, the sun on his face. But now, for the first time in years, he's stopping on the Mainland. Only for a month—but for Kai Darya, that's a long time._

_But in the Mainland lie things far worse than what either can imagine. Things like love, loss, betrayal, and sacrifice. If either ever gets to the Mainland, they may find that there are certain things best left hidden._

**So tell me what you think!**

**Love,**

**Kylie**


	31. Clue Number Three Part 1 of 2

**Author's Note: SO SORRY I'VE TAKEN SO LONG TO UPDATE! Can you ever forgive me? In my defense, it was Christmas, and I've been spending lots of time with my family... and with my new Harry Potter PS3 games. :D I got the last two- DH Part 1 and Part 2- and the Harry Potter Page to Screen: The Complete Filmmaking Journey book. Needless to say, I've become a couch potatoe very quickly. **

**I was a little upset at the lack of reviews in the last chapter. I think I only had one... I'm sorry if I'm being super pushy or whatever, but well, I LIKE REVIEWS! :) Also, I posted a little summary of another original story I'm working on, and nobody said anything about that...**

**Anyways, please REVIEW! It always brightens my day, and makes me want to update faster! **

**Love you all! (At least those who review ;)) **

**Kylie**

**Chapter 32 **

**Clue Number Three Part 1 of 2**

With her wand lit, Lily held the parchment up to the light so she could read it clearly.

_Dear Lily,_

_Congratulations! I knew you could do it. You've made it to the third clue. I warn you, these are difficult. But, who am I kidding? This is Lily Evans I'm talking about. The best and brightest. The best of the best. The elite. Yup, Lily, all those words and more describe you. Finish the treasure hunt and I may just tell you more._

Lily smiled. She could just imagine Sam giving her a playful wink right then. She read on.

_Now that I've got you smiling…_

Lily shook he head even as her grin stretched.

_Let's go on with the clue. Oh and Lily, I know I'm no Edgar Allan Poe, but bear with me. Did you see how I used Edgar Allan Poe? He's a Muggle. You must be so proud._

_First, look to the halls_

_In Hogwarts walls_

_And somewhere there you'll find_

_A gift for you_

_That points true._

_So keep this in mind:_

_Down from Gryffindor Tower_

_You must slowly wander_

_To find the next clue_

_Lying true_

_Pointing in the right._

_Follow the flowers_

_But the power_

_Makes them never die._

_Collect them and a prize you will find_

_Hidden inside._

_Your love,_

_Sam_

Lily finished reading it and looked at Sirius. "Can I read it?" he asked.

Lily grinned back. "It will make you barf," she replied cheerily.

He made a face. "I'll pass, then."

"Suit yourself," she said and started walking off the Quidditch Pitch.

"Hey! Wait up!" he yelled, running after her.

Lily stopped and gave him a questioning look.

"It's my duty to help you now," he responded, puffing out his chest. "So you don't do anything rash again."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Fine, but you can't laugh, make fun of, insult, or make crude jokes involving me, this treasure hunt, Sam, the clues, or anything pertaining to any of those subjects, in any way," she warned.

Sirius looked pained. At last he muttered like a sulky child, "Fine…"

"Great!" Lily smiled and bounced away with Sirius following her, grumbling. "You suck all the fun out of everything!"

"You just have to learn how to have _**nice**_ fun."

After a while, Lily finally realized she was alone. She stopped and spun around, only to spot Sirius with an aggrieved expression on his face and a hand placed over his heart. "I _**knew**_ I should have added 'no dramatic acts' to the list," she grumbled to herself.

"What's wrong, Sirius?" she sighed.

"I _**do**_ have nice fun!" he cried.

"Calling people names, insulting them, tormenting them with spells, abusing your magic, and taking your friends along with you is _**not**_ nice fun," she explained hotly.

"Yes, it is!"

"Sirius Orion Black! I will never agree with you and you will never agree with me, so let's get on with it and hurry up!" she said, frustrated.

She spun around and marched off.

Sirius stood there for a moment, his jaw hanging open, looking stunned. Then, he hurried after her.

Lily smiled smugly when she heard his footsteps beside her. She knew he'd return. Sirius grumbled quietly to himself all the way up the first, second, and third flights of stairs. On the fourth, he exclaimed, "What does pertaining even mean!"

After Lily explained what it meant, he stubbornly went back to muttering to himself while Lily exuberantly bounced up the steps, looking forward to her clue. It seemed to be fairly straight forward this time. More like directions than a riddle. As they reached the sixth flight of stairs, Sirius began to ask questions.

"Why's your hair so red?"

"I don't know; I was just born with red hair."

"Does anyone in your family have red hair?"

"Nope."

"Does it have magical powers?"

Lily, becoming exasperated with the slightly idiotic questions snapped, "Yes, Sirius, it does have magical powers. It can blow your arse into your face!"

Sirius' mouth made an O. "Wicked," he said at last. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Why are you always so angry?" he asked innocently.

"Because annoying prats keep pestering me," she replied with a significant look at him.

Blowing off her look, Sirius continued. "What does pestering mean?"

"It means 'to annoy someone'."

"I bet you pester a lot of people."

"No, I don't."

"I bet you do."

"No, I absolutely do not."

"Okay, sure…"

"Sirius!"

"Lily!"

"You're pestering me!"

"You're pestering _**me!**_"

Lily sighed. "You are the most annoying, obnoxious, rude, annoying, arrogant, ignorant, cowardly, annoying, lazy, pestering, selfish, annoying, vain, and conceited boy I know! Did I mention annoying?"

Sirius was quiet for a moment. Lily was almost beginning to feel bad when… "You forgot something."

"What?" Lily asked warily.

"Serious!" Sirius burst into laughter. "Serious, because I'm Sirius… haha… Oh, that's good. Oh my Merlin! I'm so smart!"

Lily gave him a dubious look. "I highly doubt that."

"Okay, okay, listen to this. What if my middle name was Lee? Then I'd be Sirius Lee Black!" He collapsed into giggles. "Get it? Seriously Black? Haha! Oh, Merlin I'm smart!"

Lily looked at him rolling in laughter on the floor and opened her mouth to say something. Thinking better of it, she continued up the stairs, while Sirius' howls echoed off the walls. After completing a whole flight of stairs without him, and sure she would have to continue without him, she heard something she was unused to: Silence. Blessed silence.

Then the beautiful silence was shattered. "Hey, Lily! Wait up!" Sirius puffed from one floor down. _Clomp clonk clonk_! Sirius was racing up the steps. Lily winced at each clonk of his foot until at last he caught up to her, just slightly out of breath.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" he asked.

"You were rolling on the floor laughing," she said with an _uh-__**duh**_ face.

"So?"

"So, you were out of commission," she replied simply, starting up the stairs to the Tower again.

"I was _**not **_out of commission!" he exclaimed, matching her step for step.

She gave him another look. "Wait, what does commission mean, again?" he asked.

She sighed. "You were incapable of continuing."

"Uh-huh…" he trailed off.

"Incapable means 'not able to'," she said.

"Oh, right! I knew that."

"_**Of course**_ you did."

"Right. So, I'm back in commission now, so we can continue! Though, as a future note, I don't think we should leave each other. Dangerous things lurk in this castle." He glanced around furtively, as if something were about to jump out and attack them.

"Well, thank Merlin _**you're**_ here then," Lily replied sarcastically.

Sirius nodded, completely missing her sarcasm. "Yes, thank Merlin for me!"

Lily sighed and hurried up the final staircase. What she saw there took her breath away.


	32. Clue Number Three Part 2 of 2

**Chapter 33 **

**Clue Number Three Part 2 of 2**

Lying on the floor were thousands of lily petals. They coated the floor an inch deep and as Lily stepped into them—her heels sinking into them pleasantly—she spotted a note card lying among the petals with her name written on it in beautiful script.

The torches lit the scene perfectly, casting flickering shadows on the walls. A few girls, who had left the party early, milled about, shooting her jealous looks from the corner. Patricia Patricks, a girl with way too tight clothes, glanced at her snootily.

"Does your boyfriend know you're with Sirius?" she asked smugly. Lily looked surprised. "Oh! No, Sirius and I are just friends," she said, her face turning red. Patricia didn't look convinced. Lily wasn't worried though. She knew Sam would never believe anything about her and Sirius. Especially anything romantic between them. Rather, he'd be happy she was getting along with his fellow Quidditch player.

In fact, Sirius was looking pretty shocked.

"Sirius?" Lily asked, looking at him a bit concernedly. "Sirius? SIRIUS!"

"Huh? Oh, what?" he asked, his gaze locked on all the lily petals while Patricia Patricks tried to capture his attention by flashing her ample cleavage at him. When she saw Lily draw his attention, she pouted and snapped the password at the Fat Lady, before climbing through the portrait hole and disappearing into the Common Room.

Sirius was now looking at Lily. "Are you going to help or not?" Lily asked.

"What? Oh, yeah," he said. He bent down and picked up the note. "Why don't you start by reading this?"

Lily nodded and picked up the note. Sadly, she saw there were only a few words on the letter, written in the same beautiful script that was used for her name: Don't worry, you don't have to pick up all _these _petals."Wow," she said. "He must have taken forever to write it this neat."

"Well, actually, there's a simple spell for that," Sirius offered helpfully.

"Oh?" Lily raised an eyebrow. She knew the spell, but she was surprised that Sirius did, too. She was even more surprised that Sam—a Fourth Year—knew a Seventh Year charm.

"Oh yeah. Actually," Sirius said. "It's a charm. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it."

"Actually," said Lily. "I have. Here, I can show you." Raising her wand, she said clearly, "_Scriptus!_" Immediately, the words changed into simple block lettering, not unlike Lily's own handwriting.

"Wow!" said Sirius. "I knew that was a good charm to learn! Girls probably love the nice handwriting thing, huh?" Lily whacked him on the head.

"Stop thinking about girls and help!" she commanded.

"With the spell? Well, I've already seen Moony do it when we were making the… never mind," said Sirius hastily.

"Wait, what? No, I wasn't talking about the spell, but what were _**you**_ talking about?"

"Oh, uh… nothing! Let's just get on with the clue, shall we?"

Lily narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Being a Prefect, she felt a certain duty to find out what the Marauders were up to, but right now she was more concerned with finding the clues. She let it slide and instead turned back to the clue as Sirius had suggested.

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief as he saw her turn back to the clue and asked, "What did the note say?"

"It said that I didn't have to pick up all these petals," Lily gestured to the floor. "Which makes me think he's made a path for me…"

She hurried over to the opposite staircase. "Ah ha! Here it is. Wait, let me read the clue over again."

She scanned the clue from the Quidditch Pitch. "_That points true"… Hmm, that sounds like he's telling me there's a path, which we found… _she thought. _"Down from Gryffindor Tower"… Okay, that's easy, go down the stairs. _

"_To find the next clue/Lying true/ Pointing in the right," must mean more clues to the path and the flowers leading to it. _

"_For the power/ Makes them never die." That must mean the flowers will never die or wilt. _

"_Collect them and a prize you will find/Hidden inside". So, they not only lead me to the next clue, but also, if I collect them, they give me a prize. _

_And I don't have to collect the ones on the floor, only the ones on the stairs. _She glanced down at the petals on the stairs. _Good thing there's not so many, _she thought dryly.

"Okay, I know what to do," she told Sirius.

"I'm following you," he replied.

She nodded and started down the stairs, bending every few steps to pick up the petals. As she bent down for the third time, she felt eyes on her and blushing, she snapped quickly, "Sirius, stop checking out my bum!"

"I was doing no such thing!" he protested.

She raised her eyebrows. He hastily tried to redeem himself. "Not that you don't have a nice bum or anything, actually," he said, glancing down at her rear quickly. "You have a very nice bum, but I wasn't staring at it!"

Lily crossed her arms and cocked her hip. Sirius gulped. "Okay, okay, I was staring at your bum," he muttered guiltily.

Lily smiled smugly. "See how easy that was?" she said sweetly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" he grumbled.

They continued on with Sirius standing firmly at Lily's side, though that didn't stop him from leaning back to sneak a peek every now and then.

Finally, they reached the end of the stairs, only to see more petals leading into an empty classroom. Glancing at each other warily, they hurried to the end of the hall and into the classroom. Lily had her hands stuffed full with petals but she managed to pick up the last one.

Immediately, the petals glowed gold and miraculously transformed into a beautiful lily. "Oh, Sam," Lily breathed, her eyes lighting up. "And that was such good magic!" she gushed happily.

"Oh please," Sirius groaned. "I could do that in my sleep!"

"Well, not everyone's as good as you at Transfiguration, you know!" Lily replied hotly. She had always been bad at Transfiguration and it was a sore subject for her.

Sirius blinked, surprised. "Well, you don't have to be so touchy!"

"Oh, forget it," Lily mumbled, and holding the lily, walked around the classroom. It was an old History of Magic classroom, but there was nothing in it except some old desks and chairs, and a huge blackboard on the far wall. It was blank, but as Lily walked up to it, gold letters scrawled across it spelling out the next clue.

Immediately, Sirius covered his eyes. "Ugh, I can't stand this romantic stuff. Will I barf if I read that?" he asked.

"I don't know," Lily laughed. "Let me read it first."

She turned her attention the blackboard and the golden words that were being written on it.


	33. Clue Number Four

**Author's Note: Okidoki everyone! Good news and bad news. Bad news: I've been having absolutely HUGE writer's block lately! SADNESS :( Good news: You don't have to worry about that for a while because I have already written up to Chapter 62! That's 61 chapters people! HAPPINESS :D **

**Right now I'm in the process of going through those... I need to switch around a few things. But I can't seem to think of what I want to do next. Don't worry though, I'm thinking! **

**As of now, it is 11:03pm in the lovely city of Miami, Florida, and I should probably be doing something more productive (like the 67 math questions I have due in two days, or reading, or doing make-up homework from when I was sick, or... well, you get the picture.). But, lucky for you instead of doing any of those things, or SLEEPING (which I desperately need to do more of), I am sitting here typing out this way too long Author's Note. SIGH I'm going to fail math because of YOU! Haha :D **

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

**It just took me three tries to write "story". Obviously, I need more sleep.**

**Chapter 34 **

**Clue Number Four Part 1 of 2**

The first thing she noticed on the board was the big letters scrawled on the top. There were only two: ME.

Below that, a note was written.

_Dear Lily, _

_You are the amazing person I have ever had the privilege to meet. Every time I see you, I can't help but think: I have the most fantastic girlfriend. You make my world go 'round. I can't seem to help myself. _

_I hope that you never forget how much I really like you. And tonight, I'm going to prove that to you, I promise. I want you to make me a promise, too. Will you promise to never, ever forget me? No matter what happens, I can't think of losing you. Or your memory, if you ever decide to leave me. I hope you won't. I know I never will. So I know, if we ever break-up, it will be your choosing, but I'll always respect your opinion, and I never want you to feel pressured to do anything by me._

_I need to say something tonight, to you, Lily. So hurry, so I can say it. You have no idea how many times I've come close to saying it in this letter and the ones before it. But, I need to say it to you in person. So hurry Lily, because I'm waiting for you. _

_I'm sorry. I needed to say that. Here's the clue._

By this time, tears were streaming down Lily's cheeks. He cared about her. He really and truly cared about her. More than James ever did, or ever would. Sam was her choice, her safety.

Sirius looked up and started to ask: "So will it make me-" Then, he spotted her tears.

"Oh, Lily. Why are you crying?" he asked awkwardly wrapping his arms around her.

"Because-because your idiotic friend never loved me. And he pretended he did! And I believed him, I believed him so much, and now there's Sam, and Merlin, I think he loves me, and I don't know what to say to him because I don't know if I love him because he didn't kiss me right, and James did, and I can't love James because Sam loves me, and I feel horrible for thinking about James, but I just can't help it!" she said all in one huge breath. Then she burst into another fit of tears.

"Wait, what?" Sirius was confused and slightly alarmed at her abrupt sobbing. "Sam kissed… you wrong? And James kissed you right?" he asked, mystified.

"Yes," Lily blubbered. "But he shouldn't have because Sam loves me. And he keeps kissing me and it's not fair! He's not supposed to. James is not allowed to make me love him."

She collapsed into Sirius' arms, and he patted her back rather awkwardly. "You can't understand," she cried softly.

As she gradually calmed down, Sirius turned her to face him and said gently, "Why don't you start from the beginning?"

"Ok-k-kay," she stuttered. And so she told him about everything. About Sam, about James, about their break-up, about his kisses, and about her parents' death.

"He hurt me so much, Sirius, and I just don't know why. And my parents died, and they left me all alone. My sister hates me so much; she thinks it's my fault they died and it is, it is, because they died when the Death Eaters ripped up that bridge, and it's all my fault. I just don't know why he hurt me. I loved him! But he just left me. Why did he leave me, Sirius? What's wrong with me?"

"Oh, Lily. He loves you though, can't you see?"

"But he doesn't! He can't! He left me. My parents left me. Everyone's leaving me. I just can't love someone right now. I can't love Sam, but I don't want him to love me because I can't love him. Because he'll leave. He said he won't, but what if he does?"

"Lily, Sam won't leave you. I've seen him stare at you. Lily, he is in love with you. And, if I know anything, I know he won't pressure you to say you love him. He knows you're hurting, he wants to hurt James back at every practice! And Merlin does he try!" Sirius gave a short, humorless laugh. "Lily, I don't know why James left you. Now that I've met you, and talked to you, I know nobody could hate you. And I see why James fell in love with you. He loves you and he wants you so much, it hurts him." He gazed at her gently, his eyes kind and almost tortured.

"But _why_ did he leave me?" Lily asked, her eyes burning.

"I don't know, Lily. But, hey," he said as Lily began to sniffle again. "If it were me, I wouldn't have left you. I know I wouldn't have."

"And hey, you know what? I bet your parents are watching you right now, helping you. My parents…" He took a deep breath. "My parents are as good as Death Eaters. And my little brother, Regulus… he's—" Sirius broke off suddenly, and swallowed past the lump in his throat. His breath was tight as he continued. "Well, he's part of that pack of Junior Death Eaters, isn't he?" he said rhetorically, his bitterness ringing in each syllable. "And I'm sure one day he'll be one too. I just wish… I just wish I could have helped him." He smiled sadly down at Lily. She was staring up at him with wide, sparkling emerald eyes.

"How do you deal with it?" she asked softly.

Sirius offered her a rueful smile. "I don't. Last summer, I got fed up with all of it, and well, James… James is basically my brother now. I live with him now. The Potters are amazing people. They're Aurors, you know. But they still have time for James, and now me." He smiled warmly now.

Lily was shocked. She knew Sirius' parents weren't very nice, but she had never imagined it to be this bad. And his brother…. She was so sad for Sirius. She could hardly imagine going through all that… to know your parents were alive and well, but hated you. In a burst of affection she grabbed Sirius toward her in a warm hug. For a moment, he stiffened, and she began to draw back, wondering if she had gone too far. But then Sirius pulled her back, and they stood together, Lily's head snuggled in his chest, her tiny arms wrapped around his hard torso, and Sirius' head lying softly on Lily's.

After a few moments, they pulled back.

Lily smiled at him. "I guess I'm just being ridiculous, huh?"

Sirius smiled back at her, helping her to her feet. "Maybe a bit. But hey, you've had a lot dumped on you in a really short time. It's hard to cope with. Really hard. I wouldn't have been able to cope with it. You're doing great, Lily. Sometimes you just need a nice cry."

"You're one of the best people I've ever met, Sirius," Lily said.

"Thanks, I do my best," Sirius replied with a sly wink.

Lily laughed. "I'm sorry," she said.

"It's okay. Now, let's get started, shall we? So I meant to ask you, is that note going to make me barf?" Sirius laughed.

Lily glanced at the note, and then wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, probably," she giggled. "Let's just read the clue, shall we?"

Sirius laughed. "Sure."

_You're on the fifth floor_

_And now open the door._

_To the fourth now go_

_Here you'll find_

_The next clue inside_

_Somewhere shoved aside._

_Hidden in the passageway _

_Not unlike a stowaway._

_In a small vessel_

_Nice and neatly nestled_

_Cast a spell with a word_

_And it will stir_

_And there you are _

_The next clue_

_My heart for you_

Lily finished a few moments before Sirius and waited until he had finished before speaking. "Well, it seems pretty straight forward."

Sirius looked at her with an amazed expression. "How is _**this**_," he gestured at the board, "straight forward?"

Lily stared at him. "Never mind, just follow me."

Sirius grinned. "I can do that!" He smirked at her and she rolled her eyes.

Lily led the way down to the fourth floor, following the poem's directions, with Sirius following her.

Reaching the floor below, Lily stopped and examined the poem. Sirius stopped just behind her, somehow managing to keep exactly a one foot distance between them.

As Lily mused over the poem, he leaned forward silently until his face was just over her shoulder, right by her ear. He scanned the poem then said very loudly, right in Lily's ear, "What cha' doin'?"

"GAH!" Lily yelled, jumping a foot in the air and spinning around, her hand automatically reaching for her jean's back pocket, where her wand was usually stored. Fortunately for Sirius, she was no longer wearing her jeans, and on account of there being a formal occasion, had left her wand on her dresser in her dormitory.

When she saw it was Sirius who had scared her, she whacked him furiously on the head while he was doubled over in hysterics. Her angry expression and pitiful attempts at hurting Sirius only made him laugh harder, and she eventually lapsed into silent fury. By now, Sirius was on the floor, tears in his eyes as he choked past laughs. Somehow he caught a glance of Lily's face through his hysterical giggles, and that only brought on another huge bout of laughter.

Lily watched him with a face that would make most people cower in fear; Sirius just continued to laugh.

Finally, his laughter began to deteriorate.

"Are you quite done?" Lily asked, stone-faced.

Sirius drew in gasping breaths. "Whew! Merlin Lily, why are you so bloody funny when you're angry?" he chuckled.

Lily glared. "Are you done?"

Sirius took a deep, whooshing breath. "Yup!" he said cheerily, clambering to his feet from the floor and popping up in front of Lily.

Lily sighed and rolled her eyes, though even she had to smile a bit at the memory of Sirius' hysterical laughter.

"Come on," she grumbled, still smiling slightly, but trying to mask it with her irritation. Sirius grinned.

"You know you want to… you know you want to…" he teased.

"Want to what?" Lily asked, using her best you-should-stay-away-from-me-because-I'm-angry voice.

"You know you want to…"

"Want to _**what?"**_

"You know you want to… SMILE!" Sirius yelled, then pushed up the corners of Lily's scowling frown.

"Turn that frown upside down!" he rhymed.

Lily pulled away from his touch and flashed a very fake looking smile at him. "There, are you happy?" she asked irately.

"Yup!" Sirius flashed her a grin from his pearly whites.

Lily shot him a withering look, but he kept on smiling cheerily.

"Are you helping or not?" she asked sourly.

"I'm helping!"

"Well, then follow me," she commanded.

"Yes Ma'am!" He saluted her and she threw him another glower.

She grumbled to herself under her breath as they hurried on.

**Author's Note: Some questions and a SNEAK PEEK: 1) Do you guys think my author's notes are SUPER long? 2) Did anyone read the summary of my new original story from a few chapters ago? If so, what did you think? 3) SNEAK PEEK: I'll give you a nice hint of the next chapter:**

_A vague figure approached in the dissipating fog, wielding her wand like a sword._

_Lily felt a shiver crawl up her spine. They were alone, surrounded, and wand-less. They were dead._


	34. Clue Number Four RE EDITED

**Author's Note: Okay, so I'm keeping this short and sweet. My beta (.Emilia- CHECK HER OUT!) and I decided we didn't really like this chapter and I needed to add the part about Sirius' parents in! So, this is a re-edited version, but I feel terrible for this so I'm going to be updating again in the next few minutes! I just have to edit Chapter 35. SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME? I'll love you forever and ever and ever!**

**~Kylie **

**Chapter 34 (*RE-EDITED*)**

**Clue Number Four **

The first thing she noticed on the board was the big letters scrawled on the top. There were only two: ME.

Below that, a note was written.

_Dear Lily, _

_You are the amazing person I have ever had the privilege to meet. Every time I see you, I can't help but think: I have the most fantastic girlfriend. You make my world go 'round. I can't seem to help myself. _

_I hope that you never forget how much I really like you. And tonight, I'm going to prove that to you, I promise. I want you to make me a promise, too. Will you promise to never, ever forget me? No matter what happens, I can't think of losing you. Or your memory, if you ever decide to leave me. I hope you won't. I know I never will. So I know, if we ever break-up, it will be your choosing, but I'll always respect your opinion, and I never want you to feel pressured to do anything by me._

_I need to say something tonight, to you, Lily. So hurry, so I can say it. You have no idea how many times I've come close to saying it in this letter and the ones before it. But, I need to say it to you in person. So hurry Lily, because I'm waiting for you. _

_I'm sorry. I needed to say that. Here's the clue._

By this time, tears were streaming down Lily's cheeks. He cared about her. He really and truly cared about her. More than James ever did, or ever would. Sam was her choice, her safety.

Sirius looked up and started to ask: "So will it make me-" Then, he spotted her tears.

"Oh, Lily. Why are you crying?" he asked awkwardly wrapping his arms around her.

"Because-because your idiotic friend never loved me. And he pretended he did! And I believed him, I believed him so much, and now there's Sam, and Merlin, I think he loves me, and I don't know what to say to him because I don't know if I love him because he didn't kiss me right, and James did, and I can't love James because Sam loves me, and I feel horrible for thinking about James, but I just can't help it!" she said all in one huge breath. Then she burst into another fit of tears.

"Wait, what?" Sirius was confused and slightly alarmed at her abrupt sobbing. "Sam kissed… you wrong? And James kissed you right?" he asked, mystified.

"Yes," Lily blubbered. "But he shouldn't have because Sam loves me. And he keeps kissing me and it's not fair! He's not supposed to. James is not allowed to make me love him."

She collapsed into Sirius' arms, and he patted her back rather awkwardly. "You can't understand," she cried softly.

As she gradually calmed down, Sirius turned her to face him and said gently, "Why don't you start from the beginning?"

"Ok-k-kay," she stuttered. And so she told him about everything. About Sam, about James, about their break-up, about his kisses, and about her parents' death.

"He hurt me so much, Sirius, and I just don't know why. And my parents died, and they left me all alone. My sister hates me so much; she thinks it's my fault they died and it is, it is, because they died when the Death Eaters ripped up that bridge, and it's all my fault. I just don't know why he hurt me. I loved him! But he just left me. Why did he leave me, Sirius? What's wrong with me?"

"Oh, Lily. He loves you though; can't you see?"

"But he doesn't! He can't! He left me. My parents left me. Everyone's leaving me. I just can't love someone right now. I can't love Sam, but I don't want him to love me because I can't love him. Because he'll leave. He said he won't, but what if he does?"

"Lily, Sam won't leave you. I've seen him stare at you. Lily, he is in love with you. And, if I know anything, I know he won't pressure you to say you love him. He knows you're hurting; he wants to hurt James at every practice! And Merlin does he try!" Sirius gave a short, humorless laugh. "Lily, I don't know why James left you. Now that I've met you, and talked to you, I know nobody could hate you. And I see why James fell in love with you. He loves you and he wants you so much, it hurts him." He gazed at her gently, his eyes kind and almost tortured.

"But _why_ did he leave me?" Lily asked, her eyes burning.

"I don't know, Lily. But, hey," he said as Lily began to sniffle again. "If it were me, I wouldn't have left you. I know I wouldn't have.

"And hey, you know what? I bet your parents are watching you right now, helping you. Which is more than I could ever say for my parents." He took a deep breath. "My parents are as good as Death Eaters. And my little brother, Regulus… he's—" Sirius broke off suddenly, and swallowed past the lump in his throat. His breath was tight as he continued. "Well, he's part of that pack of Junior Death Eaters, isn't he?" he said rhetorically, his bitterness ringing in each syllable. "And I'm sure one day he'll be one too. I just wish… I just wish I could have helped him." He smiled sadly down at Lily. She was staring up at him with wide, sparkling emerald eyes.

"How do you deal with it?" she asked softly.

Sirius offered her a rueful smile. "I don't. Last summer, I got fed up with all of it, and well, James… James is basically my brother. I live with him now. The Potters are amazing people. They're Aurors, you know. But they still have time for James, and now me." He smiled warmly.

Lily was shocked. She knew Sirius' parents weren't very nice, but she had never imagined it to be this bad. And his brother…. She found she was so sad for Sirius. She could hardly imagine going through all that… to know your parents were alive and well, but hated you. All of a sudden she felt very selfish.

In a burst of affection she grabbed Sirius to her in a warm hug. For a moment, he stiffened, and she began to draw away, wondering if she had gone too far. But then Sirius pulled her back, and they stood together, Lily's head snuggled in his chest, her tiny arms wrapped around his hard torso, and Sirius' head lying softly on Lily's.

After a few moments, they pulled back.

Lily smiled at him. "I guess I'm just being ridiculous, huh?"

Sirius smiled back at her. "Maybe a bit. But hey, you've had a lot dumped on you in a really short time. It's hard to cope with. Really hard. I wouldn't have been able to cope with it. You're doing great, Lily. Sometimes you just need a nice cry."

"You're one of the best people I've ever met, Sirius," Lily said.

"Thanks, I do my best," Sirius replied with a sly wink.

Lily laughed. "I'm sorry for just shoving this on you," she said.

"It's okay. Now, let's get started, shall we? So I meant to ask you, is that note going to make me barf?" Sirius laughed.

Lily glanced at the note, and then wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, probably," she giggled. "Let's just read the clue, shall we?"

Sirius laughed. "Sure."

_You're on the fifth floor_

_And now open the door._

_To the fourth now go_

_Here you'll find_

_The next clue inside_

_Somewhere shoved aside._

_Hidden in the passageway _

_Not unlike a stowaway._

_In a small vessel_

_Nice and neatly nestled_

_Cast a spell with a word_

_And it will stir_

_And there you are _

_The next clue_

_My heart for you_

Lily finished a few moments before Sirius and waited until he had finished before speaking. "Well, it seems pretty straight forward."

Sirius looked at her with an amazed expression. "How is _**this**_," he gestured at the board, "straight forward?"

Lily stared at him. "Never mind, just follow me."

Sirius grinned. "I can do that!" He smirked at her and she rolled her eyes.

Lily led the way down to the fourth floor, following the poem's directions, with Sirius following her.

Reaching the floor below, Lily stopped and examined the poem. Sirius stopped just behind her, somehow managing to keep exactly a one foot distance between them.

As Lily mused over the poem, he leaned forward silently until his face was just over her shoulder, right by her ear. He scanned the poem then said very loudly, right in Lily's ear, "What cha' doin'?"

"GAH!" Lily yelled, jumping a foot in the air and spinning around, her hand automatically reaching for her jean's back pocket, where her wand was usually stored. Fortunately for Sirius, she was no longer wearing her jeans, and on account of there being a formal occasion, had left her wand in her dress's secret inner pocket.

When she saw it was Sirius who had scared her, she whacked him furiously on the head while he was doubled over in hysterics. Her angry expression and pitiful attempts at hurting Sirius only made him laugh harder, and she eventually lapsed into silent fury. By now, Sirius was on the floor, tears in his eyes as he choked past laughs. Somehow he caught a glance of Lily's face through his hysterical giggles, and that only brought on another huge bout of laughter.

Lily watched him with a face that would make most people cower in fear; Sirius just continued to laugh.

Finally, his laughter began to deteriorate.

"Are you quite done?" Lily asked, stone-faced.

Sirius drew in gasping breaths. "Whew! Merlin, Lily; why are you so bloody funny when you're angry?" he chuckled.

Lily glared. "Are you done?"

Sirius took a deep, whooshing breath. "Yup!" he said cheerily, clambering to his feet from the floor and popping up in front of Lily.

Lily sighed and rolled her eyes, though even she had to smile a bit at the memory of Sirius' hysterical laughter.

"Come on," she grumbled, still smiling slightly, but trying to mask it with her irritation. Sirius grinned.

"You know you want to… you know you want to…" he teased.

"Want to what?" Lily asked, using her best you-should-stay-away-from-me-because-I'm-angry voice.

"You know you want to…"

"Want to _**what?"**_

"You know you want to… SMILE!" Sirius yelled, then pushed up the corners of Lily's scowling frown.

"Turn that frown upside down!" he rhymed.

Lily pulled away from his touch and flashed a very fake looking smile at him. "There, are you happy?" she asked irately.

"Yup!" Sirius flashed her a grin from his pearly whites.

Lily shot him a withering look, but he kept on smiling cheerily.

"Are you helping or not?" she asked sourly.

"I'm helping!"

"Well, then follow me," she commanded.

"Yes Ma'am!" He saluted her and she threw him another glower.

She grumbled to herself under her breath as they hurried on.


	35. Bellatrix Black

**Author's Note: Okay, I felt really bad for the re-edited chapter I posted a few minutes ago, so I'm giving you this in advance as a plea for forgiveness! Tell me what you think!**

**Also, I would like to dedicate this chapter to Arianna Lovegood and .Emilia. Arianna Lovegood I can't reply to your reivews considering you're anonymous, but I enjoy all of them! .Emila- thanks for being my bloody brilliant beta, and putting up with all my specialness!**

**I would also like to thank anyone who has reviewed, favorited, or subscribed to this story! I'm so happy we've gotten to 58 reviews! YEE! Thanks to everyone who's helped with that! **

**Chapter 35 **

**Bellatrix Black**

"You know, talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity."

Lily threw Sirius the best I'm-going-to-kill-you-slowly-and-painfully look she could muster. Unaffected by it, Sirius continued bouncing exuberantly next to her, chattering away. Lily blocked him out and concentrated on the clue. They had almost reached the fourth floor, and she wasn't sure where to go when they got there.

"_Somewhere shoved aside/ Hidden in the passageway/ Not unlike a stowaway/ In a small vessel/ Cast a spell with a word…_" Lily sighed as she muttered the words of the poem under her breath.

Finally, something clicked and she looked up quickly, saying as she did so, "Sirius! Are there any secret passageways on the fourth floor?" Her eyes were bright and excited as Sirius' endless stream of words broke off suddenly. All of sudden, he began to look uncomfortable.

"Um… well… I suppose there must be…" he trailed off, looking quite awkward.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Sirius," she sighed. "Don't bother trying to play dumb with me; you'd be the one to know if there are. You can tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone or whatever."

Sirius grimaced. "It's just… Marauder's secret… you know…."

Lily frowned. "Well then I'll find it for myself," she said, sounding slightly hurt.

Giving Lily a troubled nod, Sirius trailed after her slowly as she banged her way down the hallway, slamming open doors and shoving stuff around as she searched.

"Um… Lily?" Sirius asked meekly as she waved her wand around a classroom, muttering incantations furiously under her breath.

"Yes?" she asked tersely.

"Well, maybe I could—"

But Lily didn't find out what Sirius could do, because right at that moment a loud bang came from outside in the hall.

"What was that!" she exclaimed, racing past Sirius. He was right behind her as they emerged into the hallway.

Immediately, they were swamped by choking fog. Lily coughed, looking for Sirius in the gloom.

"Sirius?"

"Here!" he called out, coughing slightly as he reached out his hands to find Lily in the disorienting mist.

Abruptly, Lily's hands touched his, and she stumbled back, then realized who it was, and reached out for him again.

"Lily?"

"Yeah, it's me."

Lily's hand found his arm, and she clutched it tightly with her small hand.

"Do you know what that was?" she asked, her voice sounding loud in the deep fog.

"No," Sirius whispered back.

Suddenly, a loud cackle echoed around them. "Well, look what we have here! My blood traitor cousin, and the Mudblood!"

Sirius stiffened. "Bellatrix," he spat.

A vague figure approached in the dissipating fog, wielding her wand like a sword.

"_Expelliarmus!_" Lily and Sirius' wands shot out from their pockets into Bellatrix's waiting hands.

"_Dissipation!_" The encroaching fog immediately receded.

"Excellent," she leered at the two wand-less Fifth Years.

Sirius' mouth was set into an unmoving horizontal line, and his eyes smoldered with anger as he glared at his cousin. Lily's hand tightened on his arm, whether in fear or in an attempt to restrain him, he was unsure. Her eyes were wide with undisguised terror as she stared at the deranged Seventh Year, though her voice was steady as she said, "Leave us alone, Bellatrix."

Bellatrix laughed a high, chilling cackle. "Certainly," she smiled predatorily. "Just let me have some fun, first!"

As she spoke, a dozen hooded figures surrounded them; Bellatrix's Slytherin cronies.

Lily felt a shiver crawl up her spine. They were alone, surrounded, and wand-less. They were dead.

She looked at Sirius for any sign of comfort, but he was too busy glaring at Bellatrix. His anger was impressive, but Bellatrix just smiled smugly at him.

_Yup,_ thought Lily. _We're dead._


	36. A Gut Feeling

**Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry this chapter is so short! I'll try to post the next one really soon! Please forgive me!**

**~Kylie**

**Chapter 36 **

**A Gut Feeling**

James Potter sat up in his bed. Something was wrong. Some feeling in his gut was screaming: WARNING! WARNING! DANGER! DANGER!

But he wasn't concerned about himself. He quickly ran through his list of people he cared about. Sirius was in the Common Room, Lily was at the Dance, Remus was…

He spun around, searching for Remus, as if he expected him to jump out of the closet and yell, "SURPRISE!"

Oh! Remus was in the Hospital Wing, prepping for the Full Moon in two night's time. This thought brought on a whole new wave of guilt. In his anger and jealousy, he had forgotten how close to Remus was to his transformation. He winced.

He realized he was forgetting someone… Oh yes! Peter! Who knew where Peter was, though. He was always disappearing randomly these days. James would have been suspicious except that… well, it was _Peter._

Besides, his gut was telling him it wasn't Peter who was in danger. It was… He froze. It was Lily. And somehow, he knew Sirius wasn't in the Common Room as he had assumed.

There was no time to figure out why they were both in danger, if they were together or not, or anything else. He had to go. He had to go save the two people that he cared about more than anyone else in the world. He just had to.


	37. Torture

**Author's Note: SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! Forgive me? PWEASE?**

**Chapter 37 **

**Torture**

Lily stared into the crazed, black eyes and felt terror welling up in her. Those eyes… they were telling her, 'I am going to hurt you'. There would be pain. But the worst part was, it wouldn't be only her pain. Sirius was there, because of her. It was all her fault. If—no, _when__**—**_hewas hurt, it would be her fault. Her fault, for dragging him along with her, her fault…. All her fault. Just like her parents… just like everything. Her fault.

She drew a shaky breath.

Bellatrix was speaking again. "Now!" she cackled. "Now, we can have some _fun_!"

Her wand slashed up, and Lily felt a sudden, biting pain on her arm. She gasped and clutched her forearm. Sirius stepped protectively in front of her. His eyes were murderous, but he was helpless against Bellatrix's wand. The hooded figures encircling them formed a tighter circle around Bellatrix and her victims. Lily thought she could make out several sinister smiles beneath the hoods.

Something hot and sticky was running down her arm where it was cut, and her hand felt slimy with it.

More spells were flying from Bellatrix's wand. Sirius was flung back, crashing into the wall behind them; the Slytherins moved aside as his body flew past them, crumpling into the wall. He didn't get up.

Lily thanked Merlin that at least they seemed to be leaving him alone… for now.

Bellatrix advanced, smiling like a cat looking at a caged canary. Lily wanted to shrink back, to run, but something told her that would only make it worse. It was what Bellatrix wanted. Besides, she couldn't even move if she had wanted to; her feet felt like lead lumps, keeping her planted firmly on the ground.

"You know…" Bellatrix looked thoughtful. "Killing you would be so much fun. But," she sighed, "unfortunately, I can't… yet."

She grinned maniacally. "No, that honor will have to wait, I'm afraid. Rather unfortunate for you. I intend to make your death painful. Not that this won't be painful… No," she continued, musing, her slight smile still in place. "This will be very painful." She shrieked with laughter, back to her deranged self.

"_Crucio!_" Pain filled Lily. Her bones were splintering, her muscles being pulled into shapeless lumps, someone was tearing her apart; and there was no end, no end to the pain. Somebody was screaming, a high shriek of pain and terror. As the pain faded gradually, Lily realized it was herself. Her throat felt raw and her eyes were wild with pain and complete fear.

Bellatrix was laughing, her own eyes wild, though not with pain or fear. No, her eyes were wild with joy, with animalistic pleasure.

The curse seemed to have held Lily up, but now she wilted to the floor, her knees buckling until she hit the ground. Her head slammed against the cold, hard marble, and she felt blood seep in her hair.

"Ah… I guess the stem of a lily isn't quite as durable as I had thought," Bellatrix leered.

A single tear rolled down Lily's cheek as she braced herself for the inevitable pain. Bellatrix raised her wand.

"_Crucio_!"

The pain was back, her body vibrating with it, as she writhed on the floor. The agony ripped through her, leaving her lying limply on the floor.

Bellatrix was raising her wand again. Lily's eyes rolled back as she begged for the darkness to come, to succumb to it, before the next wave of pain came.

"_Sectumsempra!_"

If Lily had been in pain before, this was agony. It was a thousand times worse. Cuts began to open all over her body, and blood poured out, vermillion red and sticky; a river of blood.

Bellatrix's mad cackle was cut short abruptly.

Jets of light flew through the air. Someone had blasted through the wall of Slytherins and tackled Bellatrix to the ground. Lily wanted to get up, to see what was happening, to help, but she could not. Her body wouldn't respond to her, and she felt herself slipping, slipping into the dark, even as she fought it off desperately. Now, she wanted the darkness to leave, and she fought as hard as she could. She was strong enough to fight it off only for a few minutes more, but in that time, she spotted the person who had saved her, and he was fighting like an army.

"_Stupefy_!"

"_Crucio_!"

"_Petrificus Totalus_!"

Red, green, and white lights shot through across the hall. The Slytherins began to converge on her savior, but Bellatrix yelled, "No! Stop! I will deal with him!"

They shrank back. Lily's vision blurred. A curse from Bellatrix's own wand hit one of the Slytherins and he fell to the ground, screaming in pain. After that, the Slytherins dispersed, running away like the cowards they were.

Bellatrix continued to fight with the unknown person. She screamed at her fellow Slytherins to get back, come back, but she was too preoccupied to do other than yell, and the Slytherins didn't listen. Then, a huge BANG echoed down the corridor. Bellatrix was blasted off her feet, down the hall, and into the wall on the far side of the corridor, knocking down a few Slytherins in her path like bowling pins.

If she hadn't been so terrified and in so much pain, Lily might have even laughed. As it was, she was in too much pain to do anything other than lie there like a limp ragdoll.

Footsteps echoed down the corridor, running toward her. The darkness was encroaching, but Lily could just see a face hovering over hers as she finally succumbed. She couldn't identify it in her stupor, and she could only focus on the beautiful face that hovered above her. But the face was panicked, frantic as it called her name.

"Lily? Lily? Lily, please!"

The gorgeous yet anxious face faded, and darkness took over.

**Author's Note: Oooo... sorry for the small cliffy. I'll post again soon!**


	38. Crying, Worrying, and Remembering

**Author's Note:Quick little thing! I've decided to make all the Fifth Years (Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, Snape, Peter etc.) into Sixth Years! Bellatrix is a Seventh Year, and Sam is a Fifth Year. SORRY ABOUT THAT! I just can't think of what I would do for a sixth year, and it seems a bit more realistic this way!**

**Chapter 38 **

**Crying, Worrying, and Remembering**

James paced anxiously back and forth in front of the Hospital Wing's double doors. They had been closed and locked magically over three hours ago, and James hadn't stopped worrying about Lily and Sirius for one minute.

He could hardly remember anything after he had woken up in his dorm; it was all just a blur. He remembered waking up with the feeling that something was wrong, someone was in danger. Then, he had realized that it was Lily and Sirius who were in danger. He remembered the moment of frozen panic, then racing down the stairs. He could recall snatches of the battle against Bellatrix; tackling her—which had been immensely satisfying—and then her yelling as Slytherins scattered every which way.

James smiled grimly. At least he had taken a few out, and Bellatrix was now definitely going to be punished. Even Azkaban seemed too pleasant for her.

He could recollect her blasting back into the wall, and rushing to Lily. Sirius had been lying on a pile of rubble, unconscious, but he was mumbling, "Food… Mmm…" so James had assumed he was alright for the moment. At this point in his reminiscing, everything came into focus.

He could perfectly recall Lily; the deep gash in her arm, the sticky mass of it in her fiery red hair, the way she had been spread on the floor, her blood pooling out, no doubt having collapsed under the pain, and most of all, the way her screams had echoed through the corridor. He shivered at that particular memory.

James was racing down the stairs when he heard the screams. Terrible, anguished, agonized screams. The worst part was: they belonged to Lily. That was why he had been so bold, rushing Bellatrix like that. The red haze of anger in front of his eyes had made him unable to think clearly.

When the battle was over, and he had been crouched down by Lily, all he could think about was losing her. He didn't know what he would do if he had lost her—if he lost her now. The begging was the worst part of that moment; pleading with her to open her eyes, to come back to him, to just _live_.

Sinking down against the cold stone wall, he grasped his head in his hands and squeezed, as if he hoped to squash out all those terrible memories. For the first time in years, for the first time since he had lost the two people that had meant the world to him, he cried.

**Author's Note: SNEAK PREVIEW! SAM FINDS OUT!**

**Sam skidded to a stop. James was sitting with his head in hands on the floor in front of the Hospital Wing doors. In a flash, everything fell into place. James looked as if he were crying.**

**James crying… Blood on the floor… The Hospital Wing….**

**James loved Lily. And Lily was in the Hospital Wing. And James was crying. And Lily was—No, she couldn't be. She couldn't be…. Could she?**


	39. Dead?

**Author's Note: Okay! Two things! First off: I'm updating this chapter as well as the next one at the same time because they're both so short. Sorry about that! And sorry for the cliffy last chapter ;) I'm EVIL! Secondly, I just posted A NEW STORY! It's called For The First Time, and it's, of course, about Lily and James! It's a three-shot, and pretty dang short- I think like 3,000 words or something like that. I'll be posting the second chapter of that in a few minutes too! Well, that's all!  
>Happy Reading!<strong>

**Chapter 39 **

**Dead?**

All Sam knew was that Lily had taken way too long to meet him. He was frantic with worry, wondering what could have happened to her. He was sure she wouldn't have just given up the hunt, but he had checked the girls' dormitory anyways. He had searched the Common Room, had scoured the Valentine's Dance for her, and had asked people all over if they had seen Lily Evans.

"Have you seen Lily?"

"What?"

"Lily! Lily Evans! My girlfriend! Have you seen her?"

"Lost your girl already, have you?"

That was a particularly painful exchange between him and a Fifth Year Ravenclaw boy.

"Have you seen Lily Evans?" he asked a Hufflepuff girl.

The girl smiled slyly and said, "Yeah, I saw her with Sirius Black about two hours ago by the picture of the Fat Lady. Got to wonder what they got up to together, don't you?" She winked.

"Thanks!" Sam was already a blur, racing up the stairs. He was sure Lily would never cheat on him, much less with Sirius Black, but he needed to see how far she had gotten, if she had made it to the Fourth Clue.

He emerged onto the floor where the Gryffindor Common Room was and saw that his letter to Lily was missing among the bed of rose petals. That meant she had made it this far. He raced down the stairs, heading to the place where he knew his clue would lead.

With his breath coming in short gasps, he stopped running and ducked his head down between his legs, sucking in much needed air. That was when he spotted the blood stains on the floor.

Now, Sam was running without abandon up the stairs, knocking down a couple of Sixth Years as he raced on up to the Hospital Wing. From the sound of the hexes being fired after him, they were _Slytherin_ Sixth Years.

Stairs, open hallway, stairs, open hallway, stairs… James?

Sam skidded to a stop. James was sitting with his head in hands in front of the Hospital Wing doors. James looked as if he were crying.

In a flash, everything fell into place with a sickening lurch.

Blood on the floor… The Hospital Wing… James crying….

James loved Lily. Sam knew that, and while he didn't want to admit it, he knew it was true. He also knew the only reason James would be crying like this—aside from a Sytherin Quidditch slaughter perhaps—would be if Lily was in serious danger. And that would mean she would have to be in the Hospital Wing. And all that blood… if it was Lily's… she was in very serious danger. Close to… Maybe…

No, she couldn't be. She couldn't be….

Could she?


	40. Waiting

**Chapter 40 Waiting**

"James?" A strangled voice came from somewhere down the hall.

James looked up, not even bothering to hide the tears that crept down his face.

Sam's face, filled with terror, turned to a horrified look. "No…" he whispered.

"Is… is it… Lily?"

The look James gave Sam confirmed what had suddenly become his worst nightmare.

"No, no, no… NO! She can't be! You wouldn't let…"

Sam turned his anguished eyes on James, who had flinched at the unintentional almost accusation. "Please. Please, she's not… she's not…" He drew in a shaky breath, unable to say the word. "She's not… is she?"

James shook his head. "I don't know. I just—I don't know."

Sam moved shakily. "They have to let us in… they have to…" he muttered. He staggered to the door and began pounding on it. "Let me in!" he yelled. "Let me in! Let me in... Let me in…"

Finally, he was sapped of all determination, and fell to the floor, and began to wait. His eyes were bloodshot as he tried his best to not cry.

The only sounds were the muffled tears coming from James, and Sam's heavy breathing as he tried his best to keep his own tears in check.

~8)

"James?"

"Yeah, Sam?"

"Did—_Do_ you love her?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

"Well, I love her, too."

"I know, Sam. I know you do."

~8)

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think they'll ever let us in?"

"They have to eventually."

~8)

"Do you—do you think… do you think she's okay?"

"I don't know."

"Do you think she'll…"

"I don't know."

"She can't though. She can't die. She can't be. Otherwise they'd tell us. Wouldn't they?"

"I don't know, Sam. I don't know anything."

~8)

"I'm going to kill Bellatrix Black."

"I'll help you."


	41. Albus Dumbledore

**Author's Note: I apologize a thousand times over for the long wait! Forgive me? And tell me what you think of Dumblydore? I was nervous about writing him...**

**R&R!**

**~iambookworm**

**Chapter 41 **

**Albus Dumbledore**

Dumbledore swept down the hallway, a terrifying glint in his eyes. His steps were powerful and purposeful, his eyes flashing with anger.

He whirled around the corner, and spotted the two boys sitting on the floor against the wall. His eyes softened.

James had his head in his hands again, ducked down between his legs, his whole body heaving silently. Sam was hunched over, his eyes bloodshot, a single tear running down his cheek. As they became aware of Dumbledore's footsteps, they looked up. Their eyes were red, puffy, and bloodshot as they asked him a silent question with their eyes, a silent plea for help.

Dumbledore answered their unspoken question. "I do not know. I have been…" He paused for a moment, his eyes hard once more. "I have been dealing with Miss Black and her followers."

He looked swiftly away, toward the double doors. "I shall tell you the result when I know for sure." With that, he opened the doors and disappeared behind them, shutting them with ringing finality.

Sam ran a shaking hand through his hair, and closed his eyes as he leaned back against the wall, prepared to wait for as long as he had to.

~8)

Albus Dumbledore crossed the room purposefully, stopping in front of a bed where Madam Pomfrey was hovering over a red-headed girl, looking worried.

"How is she, Poppy?" he asked, his forehead creased with worry, the streaks of grey visible in his auburn hair.

Madam Pomfrey's mouth was set in a worried frown. "I don't know, Albus. I think… I think she may be beyond my capabilities. I'm afraid we're going to have to send her to St. Mungo's."

Dumbledore nodded gravely. "I'll arrange for a team of Healers to be there when she arrives."

Pomfrey nodded and began to wipe Lily's forehead with a cool washcloth as her wand hovered over Lily's prone figure, gently applying magical healing spells.

"Oh, Miss Evans, what am I going to do with you? More worrying yet, what about those two boys outside?"

She sighed and straightened up, hurrying back to her room to prepare for Lily's departure to St. Mungo's.


	42. And The Decision Is

**Chapter 42 And The Decision Is…**

As the doors swung wide, the two boys sitting outside them looked up, their expressions mingled images of terror and hope, pain and desperation.

They looked to Dumbledore, and he said slowly, picking his words carefully, "Miss Evans is… stable. But, Madam Pomfrey feels as if she could acquire greater medical assistance at St. Mungo's. She will be sent there later tonight."

Expressions flitted across the boys' faces. Relief, concern, terror, hope, and most of all, determination.

"Then we'll be waiting for her," Sam said, his face full of passionate resolve.

"Is there—" James' voice cracked. He cleared his throat. "Is there anything we can do?" he asked in a low voice.

"I'm afraid not," Dumbledore sighed. "She's in the hands of the Healers. But, I assure you both, they are marvelous Healers, and I'm sure they will do all they can for her."

"Is Sirius okay?" James asked, feeling a slight twinge of guilt that he hadn't been that worried about his best mate.

Dumbledore smiled, finally. "Yes, Mr. Black is quite fine. In fact," he continued, "the last time I saw him he was mumbling something about treacle tart and killing his cousin." He chuckled softly. "I'm quite sure he's having pleasant dreams. I'd wager he'll wake up in a few hours, and as soon as Miss Evans has departed, I'm sure he'd like to see you."

He smiled, and then added grimly, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go place a call to St. Mungo's."

He walked away with a solemn countenance.

There was silence. James broke it tentatively.

"Then I suppose there's no point in us waiting here, is there?"

"No," Sam sighed. "I don't suppose there is."

Grimacing, they stood up, their muscles screaming in protest as they stretched them. They walked off together, for once united as they waited for their love to return home.


	43. St Mungo's

**Chapter 43 St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries**

Everything was a blur of pain and nausea. She was vaguely aware of being moved into a fire with flickering green flames, and feeling scared as the flames engulfed her, but there was no pain.

Then, a squeezing sensation, nausea, bile rising in her throat.

At last, it stopped.

Fluorescent, bright, white lights searing her eyeballs. A bed rolling beneath her, a team of people hovering over her. Bursting through doors as someone looked down at her fluttering eyelids and said, "Don't worry, Miss Evans. We've got you."

And then blackness spread over her like a calming wave, and she welcomed it like an old friend.

~8)

Even as Lily was being rushed through St. Mungo's, Sam and James were heading wearily up to Gryffindor Tower. It was late at night, too late for anyone else to be up.

They reached the Common Room, climbed through the Portrait Hole, and by unspoken consent, collapsed onto the chairs by the fire.

~8)

A few minutes earlier, Sam had disappeared up the staircase to the dormitories. He had said nothing, and James wasn't sure if he was coming back. All James could think was, _Lily Evans, I cannot bear it if something happens to you. Not after I was so mean to you. Please don't let that be the last thing you think of me. Please, please, please Lily. Don't die. Stay strong. I'll never bother you again, I'll never hurt you again... Just _please _live._

~8)

As Sam traipsed up the stairs to the boys' dormitory, he knew he was only going to get one thing. Then, he would join James again. He just couldn't stand the waiting, the endless waiting, and doing nothing. He had to do something to distract himself. Reaching his dorm, he stumbled around in the dark, unwilling to turn on the lights and wake his dorm mates.

At last, he found out what he was looking for. His small messenger bag where he kept all his school things was lying in the corner, next to his night table. Picking it up, he hurried back downstairs.

~8)

James hardly registered Sam coming back downstairs. He was vaguely aware that he was no longer alone, and for that he was grateful.

He scarcely noticed as Sam took out a quill, was barely aware when he retrieved a piece of paper, but his interest was spiked at the scratching of the quill on parchment.

He looked over, a dull feeling of curiosity pricking his mind. But it wasn't enough to ask Sam what he was doing. Instead he leaned back and stared into the roaring flames of the fire.


	44. Dear Lily

**Hey guys! **

**SO sorry I haven't been updating! I strongly suggest you read this, but you obviously don't have to. I mean, I'm not going to kill you if you don't… heh. Sorry.**

**Ahem.**

**The point is, I just recently got a new computer, so I'm taking a while to transfer all my documents. I still have to figure out how to move documents from a PC to a Mac, so…. **

**Anyways, that's all, so just don't hate me!**

**Oh, and sorry for the shortness! :(**

**Love,**

**iambookworm**

**Chapter 44 **

**Dear Lily**

_Dear Lily,_

_You never got to finish your treasure hunt, but I'm going to give you the prize anyway._

_The clues, when you added them up, said, 'Meet Me in the Garden'. _

_And there I was, always one clue ahead, setting up things for you._

_I was going to be waiting in the garden when you came, wearing my suit and tie, looking all formal, and, hopefully, handsome. I was going to be holding a lily. I was going to see you, and say, "Lily Evans, I love you."_

_I love you more than anything in the world, Lily. I've never loved anyone the way I love you. I know that there are others that love you, and _will _love you. But I will always fight for you. Right until you say you want to leave, if you ever do. But I will never hold you back. If you want to leave, you can leave. _

_So, you don't have to say you love me too. I don't want to pressure you, ever. I just had to say it, because I mean it, with all my heart. _

_Lily Evans, I love you. I love you to the ends of the earth. I love you more than anyone could ever love you. I'll love you to my death. I'll never stop. If nothing else, I ask that you never forget how much I'll always love you._

_Forever Yours,_

_Sam _


	45. Lucky

**Chapter 45 Lucky**

Sam sealed his letter and climbed to his feet. Again, without a word, he climbed the stairs to the boys' dormitory, and disappeared from view. Moving silently in the dark, he carefully placed the letter in his night table's drawer, locked it, and walked back downstairs.

James was staring straight at the flames when Sam came back. For a moment, there was silence. Then…

"James."

"Yes?"

"Why do you love Lily?"

James thought for a moment.

"I love Lily, because she is the best person I know. She's smart, beautiful, kind, passionate, witty, lovely, selfless, charming, and she brings out the best in me. Most of the time." He winced. "Not all the time, but most of the time.

"I love her because she's a constant. She's always there, even if she wants to kill me.

"And Sam, I can't stand if something happens to her, not after I hurt her so badly. I don't know why I did that. That was the worst thing I've ever done, and no matter what, I will never forgive myself for hurting her so much."

He sighed and fell silent. Sam paused for a moment. Those were all the reasons why _he_ loved Lily.

"Why do _you_ love Lily, Sam?"

"I love Lily, because of everything you said. But I also love Lily, because she makes me feel like… like I'm the only guy in the world. I love her so much, that I want her in my life each and every day, because being without her… it's hell. I hate this, James. Not knowing."

James nodded. "Yeah, me too."

He sighed heavily then added, "And Sam, you're awfully lucky. Never forget how lucky you are."

"I know, James. I know you love her. But James, she doesn't love you. She loves _me_. And if—when—she gets out of there, she's going to be with me. And I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, Sam. I know that perfectly well. Just never forget why you love her. Never forget just how much you love her, and just how bloody lucky you are to have her."

"I won't."

"Good."

James leaned back and closed his eyes. Sam took up James' previous pose: staring into the fire as if it would offer him all the answers to his questions.


	46. Miss Black

**A/N: Eh. Dumbledore + my writing = URGH**

**:( I tried my best, but... **

**Chapter 46**

**Miss Bellatrix Black **

"Miss Black," he greeted, looking into the crazed eyes of Bellatrix Black.

She cackled back at him. "Still keeping up with the pleasantries, old man?" She laughed again.

"I always find it is best to start off with the greetings first; names can be lost so easily these days. Unfortunately, you will always be Miss Bellatrix Black—or Lestrange, as I imagine you will soon be—to me.

"Just," Dumbledore added with a slight smile, "As I'm sure I will always be 'old man' to you."

Bellatrix simpered at him. "There's one thing you've got right, old man."

She grinned manically. "Now, let's get down to business! You're upset because I tortured that little Mudblood favorite of yours, aren't you?"

Dumbledore winced a bit at the word "Mudblood".

"Please, Miss Black, I must ask you to refrain from using that word in my presence."

Bellatrix threw back her head and laughed. "Mudblood?" she asked, throwing the word at him as if it could do him physical damage. "You'll be dead soon enough, old man. Hearing a bit of real language won't hurt you, I'm sure."

Dumbledore frowned. "All the same, I must insist you do not use it."

Bellatrix's face was a mask of wild delight. "Fine. So, you're upset that I tortured that little dirty-blooded favorite of yours, are you?"

Dumbledore x-rayed her with his blue eyes. "Yes, yes I am, Miss Black, though I regret the use of the word, 'favorite'. You see, I try my best to not favorite any of my students, Pureblood or Muggleborn."

Bellatrix smirked. "Alright old man. I'll play your little games." She cocked her head and smiled her predatory smile.

"Oh they're not games, Miss Black. I just prefer certain… formalities to be used in my presence. Though, I'm sure, you do not use them otherwise."

"Okay, old man. Why _are_ you upset I tortured the redhead?" Bellatrix smirked.

"I am upset, Miss Black, because Miss Evans has never done anything, to my knowledge, to you. She never did anything to hurt you, intentionally or unintentionally. I know you find her blood status… below your own, but why does that mean you have the right to torture her?" He said all of this quite calmly, staring into Bellatrix's cold eyes with his own blue ones.

He continued before Bellatrix could speak. "I would have you know, Miss Evans is now undergoing extensive surgery at the hands of Healers at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Mister Black is expected to make a full recovery though—"

Bellatrix interrupted. "A pity," she simpered. "He would have been of so much more use to me dead."

"Please," said Dumbledore. "Do not interrupt."

Sighing, he continued. "Mister Potter is perfectly fine. Miss Black, the enormity of your action is too much to ignore. I'm afraid you are now suspended from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry until further notice. Your belongings will be waiting for you at the Black Mansion. You have five minutes to depart from this school."

His words, clearly an indication to leave, made Bellatrix's face stretch into a wide grin. "I'll be back, old man," she said.

"I know," Dumbledore sighed heavily. "Believe me, Miss Black, I know."

With a cat-like smile, Bellatrix stalked out of the room. Seconds later, Dumbledore heard her bloodthirsty cackle echoing off the walls.


	47. Conventional Feelings

**A/N: Gotta admit, I think I did Snapey justice. Tell me what you think! **

**Oh, and since I'm having computer problems, I'll probably take a long time to update. :( Bear with me please! SORRY!**

**Chapter 47 **

**Conventional Feelings**

Severus Snape stormed through the dungeons of Hogwarts, his steps long and purposeful, his black robes billowing behind him, his expression impassive except for the slightest frown on his lips. He was practiced at not divulging his churning emotions, but even the small frown was a betrayal of his inner turmoil.

He descended a flight of stairs behind a secret tapestry, the temperature plummeting as his feet struck the stone steps. He walked with purpose, his surprising anger simmering just below the surface of his blank face.

At last he came to an empty wall, seemingly a dead end.

"Salazar Slytherin."

The wall shimmered and disappeared at the spoken words, revealing a curved tunnel that declined steeply into darkness. Snape started down the tunnel without hesitation, not even pausing to pull his robes tighter around him as the chill of the stone walls penetrated the thin uniform.

The twisting tunnel stopped abruptly at a wooden door without a doorknob. Snape reached out and touched the door lightly with his hand. The door swung open at his touch, revealing the Common Room. The Slytherins were very protective of their inner chambers; with theirs being the most secretive and mysterious of the four Houses, they were pressed to keep their secrets well-hidden.

The Common Room's ceiling was low and made of stone just as the walls and floor were. Dark green chairs and couches lined the walls and a fire roared in its hearth. Dusky lamps lent a greenish hue to the room, as well as the windows that lined the walls.

Most curious of all were the windows. Instead of looking out across the Lake or perhaps the Quidditch Pitch as one might assume, they looked _into_ the Lake. The lake water shimmered around the room, making the room glow with a murky green color. As Snape watched, the Giant Squid jetted past the window, and several Grindylows lurked in the muddy kelp at the bottom of the Lake.

Normally the sound of the water gently swishing would relax him, but today it did nothing for him.

A group of younger students were clustered around the fire in the high-backed black and green chairs. Empty eye sockets peered out at Snape from equally empty skulls and for a moment Snape imagined the empty heads were leering at him. He shook his head once forcefully, his dark, greasy hair falling in his face. He pushed it back impatiently, letting his eyes rove over the students.

Bellatrix Black was coming down from the dormitories, her trunk floating behind her, her bone-white wand lazily holding it in place. He saw her at the same time she saw him. Immediately, her lips curled into a mocking smile.

"Severus," she greeted him.

"Bellatrix," he nodded, just barely. "May I have a minute?"

"Of course, Severus…. Anything for you," she mocked him slightly.

He led the way to the seats by the fire. As he crossed the room with Bellatrix following, the younger students looked up. They spotted him and their eyes widened. Instantly, they began to pack up their things from where they had been doing their Potions homework, and quietly scurried away, making room for Snape and Bellatrix.

As soon as they were seated, Snape turned to Bellatrix, his eyes alight with undisguised fury. "What did you do?" he hissed furiously, his coal eyes spitting anger.

Bellatrix laughed. "Is that what you're all worked up about, Snapey?" she teased. "I was just having some fun, you know." She grinned madly at him. "What does it matter, anyway?"

"It matters," he spit, "because you put all of us in danger, Bella!"

She raised her eyebrows, inquiring, her smile still in place, only serving to anger Severus further. He knew, of course, that this was what she wanted, but he couldn't help himself.

He answered her unspoken question. "Dumbledore already suspects! We can't have him checking for… _it_. You know you can't do anything to hide it! The Dark Lord has made that clear enough! And if Dumbledore knows…." he trailed off ominously.

Bellatrix shook her head, her tangled curls bouncing, her eyes glinting with mocking and delight. "The old man suspects, of course, but he can only do that! He cannot bodily check us all Severus."

"He need only check the Slytherins! And you know he must know at least some of us!"

Bellatrix shook her head. "Oh, Snapey…." she sighed. "You worry too much. Now, why are you really so worked up?" She stared at him hard, giving him the feeling she was performing Legilimency, even though he knew of course, she could not. He stared back coldly.

All of a sudden her lips curled up in mad delight. "It's the Mudblood, isn't it, Snape? You still lust after her!" She laughed loudly, making several Slytherins look up to find the source of her amusement, wondering if they should be laughing too.

Snape stared back at her coolly. "You really are as insane as they say, Bellatrix," he spit at her, bitter disgust permeating each word. "I can assure you… my feelings for the Mudblood are strictly…" he paused searching for the right word. "Conventional," he finished.

Bellatrix paused again, staring into his dark eyes again, her predatory smile still in place. "I'm afraid I have an appointment to keep, Severus. Don't miss me too much!" Then she was gone, and Snape was left wondering if he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.


	48. Poems

**Author's Note: Just three weird little poems I made in, like, 1 minute. They just sorta came out and they went with the story so here they are! :) **

**And I'm really sorry about the lack of material coming out. I have sent out the next chapters to my beta, but I haven't received them back yet. Sorry!**

**The first two don't have titles, by the way.**

**Poem #1**

Then she felt her heart break,

Like she'd been kicked in the chest,

And her body went down,

In a full body cast.

And it wasn't the same,

It all came crashing,

The day that she met you,

And you walked away laughing.

**Poem #2**

It was all new until,

The day that you came,

You sat and you stood,

And you swept her away.

But then you left,

And she stood in the rain,

And she wished,

And she wished,

All her troubles away.

**Dead Eyes**

She was always so right,

Hardly ever wrong,

She was never weak,

But always so strong.

But this time it was different,

For he was so strong,

Nothing was the same,

And they both felt so wrong.

And she looked at him,

With those dead eyes,

Those eyes that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

**Tell me what you think!**

**~iambookworm**


	49. ReStarting A Heart

**Author's Note: Forgive me? Sorry for the super long update time! But it's finally here! I'll be updating again really soon! Sorry again!**

**~iambookworm**

**Chapter 48 **

**Restarting a Heart**

The old pain had dulled, but a new pain was rising with a vengeance. Lily longed to call out, to scream, but some small part of her brain was telling her that that would only make it worse. So, she kept quiet, holding in the screams of pain and anguish.

Darkness washed over her eyes like a gentle wave, carefully tugging her out to sea.

~8)

Lily's eyelids fluttered. She could feel a light, tugging sensation on her head. A blurry face appeared in front of her face. Muted voices. Then, a sheet was tugged over her eyes and she lost herself to the abyss.

~8)

There were stabbing pains all over her body. They hurt. More and more and more. The pain came and came and came. It was too much. A scream ripped from her throat. She couldn't stop the next one either, or the one after that.

An irritating beeping was escalating with her heart. Voices were shouting. They sounded frantic, and they should be. They should be stopping this pain. This was worse than being tortured, worse than the cuts that had bloomed all over her body with one swish of Bellatrix's wand.

Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain. She begged for death.

A huge pain burst in her chest, right on her heart. It was so much that it propelled her forward until she was sitting up. Her body bucked and roared with the pain. She writhed on the table as the voices howled around her. Then, she screamed, she wailed, she howled, she screeched. She shrieked as if someone was cutting her in half, which was what it felt like. Then, abruptly, it all stopped.

~8)

"What happened?" The Trainee looked terrified, his eyes huge as saucers.

The resident Healer didn't pause, muttering incantations furiously under his breath.

With a final burst of breath, he used his wand to shock Lily. Nothing happened.

His eyes spit fury. He had himself a little girl, a Hufflepuff—a nobody—that went to Hogwarts. Her first day on the train, some older Slytherins had been pushing her around. It was Lily Evans that saved the day with some well-aimed hexes and candy. From his little girl's description, this could only be the Lily Evans she had spoken of. Her fiery red hair, the sparkling green eyes….

No, he was not going to lose this one. His little girl's face shoved into his mind. Her round, blue eyes, how they must have watered at the Slytherins' teasing, and how Lily Evans must have marched in, eyes sparking, hair flaming, only to save the day. From that day onward, his daughter's favorite candy was Licorice Twists.

The shock traveled through the wand into Lily's body. With a start, her heart restarted, and the machine beeped to life.

"YES!" The Healer cheered along with the rest of the staff in the room.

But they weren't finished yet. Quickly, the Healer turned back to his work, ignoring the blithering Trainee by his side.


	50. Just Ask Her Out Already!

**A/N: I apologize for the horrifically long update time. My beta has not sent me back the next two chapters yet so it could be a while... But I promise I will be getting them to you ASAP.**

**Okay, gotta admit, I really like this one. Reviews are appreciated :)**

**Oh, and I wanted to say that I'm at about Chapter 70 currently so there will be definitely more than that. I'm trying to wrap things up, but I think it'll take a bit, so you'll have to agonize for another thirty chapters or so!**

**Chapter 49 **

**Just Ask Her Out Already!**

"Sirius?"

"Mmm…"

"Sirius?"

"Mmmm…. Food…. Kill… Bella…"

"Sirius!"

"Treacle tart…. yum…. Bella… dead…"

"SIRIUS!"

"Huh? What?" Sirius sat up, blinking grit from his eyes as his head swiveled back and forth, looking for the danger.

"Oi! James! Prongs!" he yelled.

"Hey mate! Good to see you! Moony just went to go get some lunch, and Wormtail's working on Potions homework, but I expect they'll be back soon to see you. Are you feeling okay?" James looked worriedly at his friend.

Sirius looked confused for a moment, then the memories washed over him, and he turned somber.

"I'm fine… Is Lily…?"

James looked away, then put his head in his hands. "I don't know," he said, his voice muffled. "They took her to St. Mungo's."

"So… it's pretty serious, then?"

"Yeah. Yeah, they're not sure…" he trailed off, his voice cracking. "They're not sure if… if she'll make it," he whispered.

"Oh, Prongs," Sirius murmured sympathetically. "I'm sure she'll be fine, mate."

James said nothing. Sirius reached over and patted his back. Just then, Remus walked in, carrying a plate of sandwiches. "So, I was thinking for the Potions essay, we could say it would have to do with the properties of Polyjuice, like lacewing flies, for example, have to do with—" He broke off as he saw Sirius sitting up. "Sirius! You're awake!"

"Moony!" Sirius spotted the sandwiches, and his eyes lit up. "And you brought FOOD!"

Remus laughed. "Here, Padfoot. Help yourself." While Sirius stuffed sandwiches into his mouth and pretended to listen to Remus as he went on and on about missed homework (keyword being: _pretended_), James was composing himself. Finally, he interrupted Remus and said, "Moony."

Remus looked over, surprised at being interrupted. "Yes?"

"You should ask Samantha out."

Remus' mouth fell open. "What?"

Samantha Hart was a gorgeous Ravenclaw girl with long, black hair, tan skin, deep brown eyes, and the best brain in the Ravenclaw Sixth Year. Remus had been crushing on her since Fourth Year, but never had the courage to ask her out.

"You heard me."

"I can't- I mean, I just can't ask-" he stuttered.

"Sure you can!" James encouraged him, giving him one of those intense expressions he seldom wore.

"If there's one thing this experience with Lily had taught me, it's that you have to seize the moment. I was a jerk, and I might never be able to get Lily to forgive me, but you have a chance, Remus. You can find love. You have to. You're a great guy, and Samantha will love you."

There was a stunned silence. Sirius was the first to break it. "Jeez, James. You're not planning on marrying him, are you?"

James waved him off, which was unlike him. "Say you will, Remus. Ask her out."

Remus was still looking shell-shocked. "Um… I guess…. I mean…." He took a deep breath. "Yeah, yeah, I think I will."

His expression turned determined. "Yeah, I will," he said, almost to himself. "Right now!"

He leapt off the hospital bed and raced out of the Hospital Wing to go find Samantha Hart.

Sirius stared after him. "Wow…"

"And you!" James turned on Sirius.

Sirius immediately backed off and held up his hands in a defensive position. "What?"

"You should ask Sydney out!"

"Umm… no! Haven't you seen the looks she sends me every day? Or maybe you missed how hard she throws the Quaffle at me!"

It was true, Sydney Wood did seem to despise Sirius. She was one of the Gryffindor Reserve Chasers, but she was also the Keeper. She had one heck of an arm on her, and seemed to particularly enjoy hurling the Quaffle into Sirius' stomach or face.

Other than that, she was a perfectly nice girl. She was pretty, with chestnut brown hair, stormy gray eyes, and a slight Irish accent. Sirius had liked her for a while but had tried, time and time again, to get over her with other girls. It never worked, and each girl only made Sydney madder and madder at him. She absolutely hated the way he treated girls; leading them on, then dumping them quickly and easily.

"No, no, no!" James protested. "I'm sure she'd say yes if you asked her! Go, go, go! Right now!"

He shoved Sirius up and out the doors, Sirius yelling, "But I'm wearing a dress!"

In truth, he was wearing a hospital gown, but it did resemble a dress very much.

But James wouldn't take no for an answer. Shoving Sirius down the stairs he yelled after him, "And if you see Peter, tell him to ask Jayne out!"

Sirius stumbled down the stairs, his only response a loud "ARGH!" as he tripped and staggered down the steep steps.

Finally, James was alone. He traipsed away to the Library, intending to spend some time researching the Potions essay.


	51. Where's Lily?

**Chapter 50 **

**Where's Lily?  
><strong>

**Author's Note: Should be back to normal updates now! Thanks for stickin' with me! **

Alice didn't know what was happening; only that Lily hadn't come back from the Dance a few nights ago, and hadn't been seen since.

Neither Sam nor James was anywhere to be found, and Alice was worried sick about her best mate. Marlene had come down with a case of food poisoning and was puking in the bathroom, so she wasn't that much help, and Frank was studying with a group of his House mates.

So Alice was the only one who was really worried about Lily. She hadn't come to her classes today, or lunch, for that matter. And she never skipped class! She wasn't in the Library, the dormitories, or the Common Room.

Alice breathed deeply. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore, and she ran out of the Great Hall to go and find Lily, no matter what it took.

~8)

First, Alice checked the dormitories and Common Room again, just to make sure Lily hadn't somehow miraculously appeared there. Unfortunately, she hadn't, and Alice was disappointed.

Next, Alice checked the Library. No one there… except for James Potter?

Since when did James Potter, of all people, come to the Library?

He appeared to be working on his Potions essay, but the expression on his face told a completely different story.

It was half concentrated fury, half helpless sadness. Alice wasn't sure which scared her more. Even more ominous was the very apparent lack of his usual fan club. It looked like even they wouldn't brave his mask of fury and sadness.

Alice steeled herself. She had to find out what had happened to her friend.

"James?"

~8)

Alice Prewitt was talking to him. And he wasn't understanding a word she was saying. As he began to pay attention, the following conversation ensued:

"Are you even listening to me?"

"No."

"Well, you have to know where she is!"

He didn't say anything.

"So you do know!"

"I didn't say that."

"It was implied."

"How did my silence imply that I knew where she was?"

"James! Just tell me where she is!"

"How should I know?"

"You're freakishly obsessed with her, and you're in love with her."

"Oh, that."

"Yeah."

"…"

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"URGH!" Alice stomped off in a huff.

~8)

James had been no help, at all. Now, on top of being worried for her friend, Alice was also annoyed. She was beginning to see why Lily always had her wand in a twist when she was around James.

Well, Remus knew James! And he at least wasn't annoying…


	52. Samantha Hart

**Chapter 51 **

**Samantha Hart**

Samantha Hart was sitting at the Ravenclaw table, eating lunch with a couple of her friends. Her black hair swished as she laughed at something her friend had said. Remus gulped. How could he have been so foolish? Samantha would never go out with _him_. And really, how could he expect her to? He was a monster.

No, he would not—_could_ not—do that to someone.

Sighing, he took one last, longing glance at her, then turned and traipsed back down the hallway. He just couldn't do that someone.

~8)

_Remus Lupin!_ He was walking out of the Great Hall, looking very dejected.

"Remus!"

"Hey, Alice."

Remus was looking so forlorn, rather like a lost puppy, that Alice felt she had to ask what was wrong, even if she was bursting with frustration and impatience inside to ask where Lily was.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing… nothing…"

Why did boys have to be so bloody annoying sometimes!

"Remus. Tell me what's wrong."

"It doesn't matter, really."

"Remus John Lupin! I'm having a really rough day here, and I would appreciate it if you would tell me what the bloody hell is the matter with you, so I can ask you what I need to ask you!"

Remus stared at her, his mouth agape. "I—uh—it's not—"

"I'm waiting…" Alice said, tapping her foot impatiently, and staring at Remus with a don't-mess-around-with-me look.

"Well… I wanted to ask Samantha out—"

"Samantha Hart?"

"Yeah…"

"But…"

"But, I can't."

"That's ridiculous! Samantha would be bloody lucky to be asked out by you, and if she knows what's good for her, she'll say yes when you ask her next time!"

"Next time?"

"Yes, next time! There _will_ be a next time!"

"There will?"

"Yes, you better be bloody well sure there's a bloody next time!"

"Okay…"

"_Okay!_"

"Okay!" he said more assertively. Then, he took off toward the Great Hall, yelling over his shoulder, "Thanks, Alice!"

"Wait! Remus! URGH!" Alice huffed. Remus was no help. She couldn't believe it was coming to this.


	53. Sydney Wood

**Chapter 52 **

**Sydney Wood**

Sydney Wood was on the Quidditch Pitch. She was a blur as she zoomed around the goal posts deflecting Quaffles which were being magically catapulted at her. Sirius admired her for a moment, then headed off to the broom shed.

Sirius pulled out his broom, and hurried to the center of the Pitch. Sydney was concentrated on the goal posts, and she hadn't even noticed him yet.

Rising up on his broom, Sirius snatched a Quaffle, flew up and threw it right at the goal posts. Sydney, not expecting two at a time, let it go through with a confused expression. Then, she spotted Sirius.

"Oh… Black," she acknowledged him crossly.

"Hey, Sydney."

"What do you want?"

"Why do I have to want something?"

Sydney quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Okay…. I want something."

"I knew it!"

She vented her feelings by sending a Quaffle halfway across the Pitch. Sirius watched it go, and let loose a low whistle.

"Nice one," he said, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Black, what do you _want_?"

Sirius took a deep breath. "?"

Sydney stared at him. "What?"

Sirius took another huge breath then said with exaggerated slowness, "I wanted to know, if you might want to go to Hogsmeade with me?"

Sydney was so shocked, she almost fell off her broom. By the time she had righted herself, Sirius' eyes were bright with hurt. "Never mind," he muttered. "It was stupid."

He began to fly off, his cheeks flaming, when Sydney called out, "No, wait! Black! Sirius!"

Surprised at his given name, Sirius slowly turned around.

"Sirius!" Sydney zoomed up to him. "I didn't mean—I was just surprised…"

"It's okay, Sydney. Whatever."

He began to fly off again. "Wait, Sirius! Come back!"

Sirius didn't listen. He couldn't believe what a fool he'd been.

"Sirius!" Sydney yelled, frustrated. The truth was, Sydney had always liked Sirius. She was just disgusted by the way he treated girls. She tried to get over her feelings by pretending to hate him, but really, every time he dated another girl, her heart broke just a bit more.

"Sirius!" she yelled again, her eyes burning. "Oh, bloody hell," she muttered.

She took off toward Sirius. He was just dismounting when she hit him. She hadn't meant to hit him, she was just a bit over enthusiastic as she hurried toward him.

"Oof!" Sirius hit the ground with Sydney on top of him, their brooms clattering together as they slammed into the ground.

Then, she was kissing him, kissing him hard and urgently.

Sirius was so surprised that for a moment he was frozen. Then he responded as enthusiastically as he could. Sydney was a bit taken aback, but kept kissing him as hard as she could.

For once, she felt all the normal barriers drop. It was so hard to like him, yet she had never be able to tell him. Now, he was kissing her back, and the world was spinning.

An intense minute later, they broke apart, gasping slightly. Sirius was aghast, and Sydney was embarrassed beyond belief. She couldn't believe she'd done that. Now, Sirius was staring at her. Sydney got up, dusted herself off, squeaked out something like, "Sorry!" and was off, running away.

"Wait, Sydney!" Now it was Sirius' turn to call after her.

Untangling himself from the two brooms, he raced after her.

"Sydney! Sydney!" he yelled. Sydney turned, finally.

"Sydney…" he gasped, coming up to her. "Why… were you… running?"

She shook her head, refusing to make eye contact with him, and staring at his feet. At last she realized something and said in a slightly confused tone, "Are you wearing a… a _dress_?"

Sirius looked down reflexively. "Uh…" Thankfully he had his boxers on still, but the hospital gown wasn't doing much for him and his… ahem… _nether_ _regions_… especially after their heated kiss.

He looked up at Sydney. She looked like she was about to cry. "Yeah… yeah I guess I am…."

Then, Sydney burst out laughing. Recognizing the total stupidity of the situation, Sirius started to laugh too, until they were both on the floor, laughing like there was no tomorrow. They would attain some sort of control of themselves, then look at the other and burst out laughing again. After about five minutes of this, they finally calmed down enough to stop laughing.

Breathing heavily, Sirius asked, "So… is that a yes?"

Sydney stared at him. "No."

She got up, and started walking away. Sirius stared after her, crushed. Then, she turned around, looked at him, and then said, "Merlin, you should see your face right now! Of course it's a yes, you prat!"

She grinned, and Sirius grinned back. For a few moments, they stayed like that, grinning stupidly at one another. Then…

"I've got an essay to finish…" Sydney trailed off, looking awkward, her cheeks pink.

"Oh yeah, of course…"

"So… see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely."

Sydney walked off, smiling slightly.

Sirius started to walk away too, grinning like the luckiest man on earth.


	54. WHAT?

**Author's Note: Sorry for the shortness! I have the next like, ten chapters edited so they'll be up soon with regular updating!**

**Chapter 53**

**WHAT?**

"Sirius!"

Sirius was walking off the Quidditch Pitch with a dumb smile on his face as Alice caught up to him.

Annoyed that he hadn't stopped for her, she asked him rather testily whether he had seen Lily. When he didn't respond… she had a conniption.

"What is it with you Marauders? You never answer my questions, you're always mooning about girls, and you seem to be downright stupid! You're moody, annoying, and you're really testing my patience! I just want to know where my best friend is! And where in the bloody hell is Sam? Shouldn't he be looking for her too? Unless he's with her, which I bet he is! I bet they got caught up kissing in some broom closet, and now they don't have the decency to tell me where the bloody hell they are!"

Sirius was staring at her. "What?" she snapped.

"Um… nothing, nothing." He recovered himself quickly.

"So?" she barked.

"So…" Sirius looked confused.

"Merlin! Do you know where Lily is?"

Sirius turned pale. "You don't know?"

Alice threw up her hands. "Of course not! That's why I'm asking you!"

"Alice… Lily's at St. Mungo's."

Stunned silence.

"_What?_"


	55. Days When You Want To Punch Your Prof

**Chapter 54 **

**Days When You Want To Punch Your Professor**

Sam sat through his classes, unable to think of anything except Lily. It was one week after she had been hospitalized and Dumbledore had insisted he get back on a normal schedule again.

When he had asked about her, all Dumbledore had said was that she was once again stable.

_Once again?_ Sam had thought. "What do you mean, 'once again'?" he had asked suspiciously.

Dumbledore had looked awkward, like he'd said too much. "There was one small incident, but Miss Evans is fine now."

He had departed quickly after that, leaving Sam no time to ask more questions.

So, there had been something wrong. Something bad. Sam couldn't bring himself to think of the terrible things that could have happened. He would only be torturing himself.

Professor Slughorn was droning on and on about something, but Sam was hardly listening. Eventually, he became aware he was being asked a question. Snapping out of his funk he said, "I'm sorry; could you please repeat the question?"

Slughorn chuckled, exactly the opposite of what Sam felt like doing. "Oh dear boy, so lovesick. Ahh…" he sighed. "I remember when I was young and in love…" He started off on his story, and Sam turned his thoughts once more to Lily, tuning out Slughorn, so he was no more than an annoying buzzing in the background.

"How is dear Lily doing?" Slughorn asked kindly.

Sam stared at him. "I have no idea. They won't exactly let me in to see her at St. Mungo's."

"I'm sure she'll be fine, Samuel."

Sam bristled at the use of his full name, and the implication that Lily would be 'fine'. She would not be 'fine'.

"I'm sorry, Professor, but she will not be 'fine'. She was _tortured_." He spat the word out like the evil, disgusting thing it was.

"She may be dead. But I don't know. No one does."

The class looked shocked. Slughorn looked completely taken aback. "Well, well, well! Don't you have some spirit!" he chuckled at Sam.

Sam was flabbergasted. How could he be talking about Lily like that, like it didn't matter whether she lived or died? Wasn't she supposed to be his favorite student?

"Excuse me, Professor, but I have to go." He shouldered his bag, and swept out of the room, seething with pain and anger. Everything was one big joke to Slughorn. But not to Sam. This was real. Lily might never come back, and Slughorn was acting like she was on vacation! Sam couldn't take it anymore. He didn't care what Slughorn thought. He didn't care what his classmates thought. He just needed to get out, out, out.

He swung around corners and pounded up stairs, unsure where he was going, just sure that he needed to go _somewhere.___Anywhere but there, with Slughorn.


	56. You Can Do This

**Chapter 55 **

**You Can Do This**

_You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. _

Everything seemed to be slowing down around Remus. Samantha's black hair swung slightly as she turned at the sound of her name. Her deep brown eyes, accented with black eyeliner, flashed with recognition at his face. Her perfect glossy lips curved in a slight smile at him.

_You can do this. You can do this. You can do this._

"H—hey, Samantha." Remus winced at the stutter in his voice.

"Hey, Remus," she smiled back at him prettily.

_You can do this. You can do this. You can do this._

"So… I was wondering if…" Remus felt choked on his own words.

"If maybe you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?" he asked, so quietly that Samantha tilted her head and asked, "Sorry—what?"

_You can do this. You can do this. You can do this._

Remus breathed deeply, then said, more forcefully, "I was wondering, if maybe you would go to Hogsmeade with me next trip?"

Samantha hesitated. Remus' heart jumped in his throat. "Well… The truth is…" she hesitated again.

She started once more. "The truth is, Davey Chang already asked me… and I'm really sorry, Remus… but I've said I'll go with him already…"

Samantha looked devastated. Remus felt his heart break slightly at her expression.

"No, no, don't worry about it…" Remus said, his cheeks pink. "Forget it…"

"I'm really sorry, Remus."

"It's okay… Well, see you in Potions tomorrow…" Remus hurried off, feeling like the stupidest guy in the world.

Of course she wouldn't want to go with him. Not when _Davey Chang_ had invited her. _Davey Chang _was smart, a Ravenclaw, _and_ a Seventh Year. Of course she wouldn't choose him over someone like _Davey Chang_. He was so _stupid! _And the worst part was Davey bloody Chang was just too bloody nice to even dislike!

All of a sudden, a voice from behind him stopped him in his tracks. "Remus…"

It was Samantha.

"I'm really, really sorry."

And she sounded sorry. But Remus was already crushed, and this was making it worse. "Really, Samantha, don't worry about it."

"No, no… Here, I know! How about the next one? Would you take me to Hogsmeade then?" she asked him, her devastatingly beautiful expression full of hope.

Remus felt his heart catch in his throat. "S—sure, I guess… yeah, of course." He smiled hesitantly at her.

She smiled back, looking relieved. "Great!" she said, stepping forward and giving him a hug. For a second, Remus was frozen, and then he gradually hugged her back. Her hair smelled like strawberry-scented conditioner.

Her thick black eyelashes bobbed up and down as she blinked, then leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Thanks, Remus! To tell you the truth, I'd much rather go with you," she whispered. As she bounced off, she left him with only the faintest trace of strawberries in the air, and the memory of a hug and a would-be kiss.

His cheek burned where her lips had touched it. When Remus felt it, he was sure it would be hot to the touch, and was surprised when it wasn't. A trace of lip-gloss was imprinted there. "Merlin…" he breathed, completely twitter pated.

He walked back to the Common Room in a daze. He had a date with Samantha, a kiss on the cheek, and a hug, all in only a few quick minutes. And best of all, she had said she would rather go with him than _Davey Chang_ (really, _Davey Chang_!) to Hogsmeade!

Remus stumbled up the stairs to the dormitories in a daze of happiness. As he flopped back onto his four-poster the only thought running through his mind was, _This is the best bloody brilliant day ever._


	57. Hogsmeade with Sydney Wood

**A/N: I'm SO SORRY! It's been an abominably long time, I know. SIGH. I've been working though! I'm not all laziness. I have books to read, places to go, walks to walk, authors to see, banquets to crash, and field trips to go to! I'm a busy little bee. :)**

**Chapter 56 **

**Hogsmeade with Sydney Wood**

It was ten days after Lily had been hospitalized, and a Hogsmeade weekend. As Remus didn't have a date until next Hogsmeade weekend, Peter was working on homework, and James and Sam weren't going for obvious reasons, Sirius was the only one attending, though he wouldn't be alone. He had a date.

Sydney Wood was waiting in the hallway when he got there. He gulped. It was unseasonably cold outside and Sydney was wearing a brown beanie with strings that ended in pom-poms and a thick sweater. She looked amazing. All of a sudden, Sirius' coat felt awkward and bulky under his arm. Gulping, he started forward.

"Hey, Sydney," he greeted her.

"Hi," she said shyly. "Glad to see you're not wearing a dress today," she added with a smirk.

Sirius blushed a bit at this, but grinned anyways, and laughed. "No, I decided something a bit warmer was needed. Admit it though; you thought I looked smashing in that dress didn't you?"

Now it was Sydney's turn to blush. "Yes, it really accentuated your eyes," she retorted.

Sirius waggled his eyebrows. "My eyes are quite gorgeous, aren't they?" he asked with a wink.

Sydney rolled her eyes and said sarcastically, "Yeah," she shot back. "I suppose if you like cold steel, then they're really quite gorgeous."

"My eyes _do_ _not _resemble cold steel!" Sirius protested. "But my stomach does," he said, winking at her roguishly.

Sydney raised her eyebrows and replied, "Keep dreaming, Sirius."

Sirius smiled. She had said 'Sirius', not 'Black'. Oh yes, this day was shaping out just fine.

As they walked out onto the chilly path, he asked her, "So… where do you want to go?"

"Um… I don't know… Where do _you_ want to go?" she asked.

"Why don't we get a Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks while it warms up a bit?" he suggested.

That was normal date procedure right? Sirius found he couldn't remember, his head all in a whirl as Sydney's intoxicating smell wafted over him. She smelled like broomstick polish and pine needles.

"Good idea."

For a while, it was awkward, but then Sirius said, "So, did you see the World Cup?" and the spell was broken. The two went on and on about Quidditch until they reached the Three Broomsticks.

The air had already begun to warm up, and Sydney pulled off her beanie, leaving her hair a bit frazzled. "Ugh," she said, patting it down, only for it to stand up again. Sirius laughed. "You look like James!" He grinned.

Sydney turned on him in mock outrage. She whacked him over the head. "Shut up, Sirius Black! What would you know about hair?"

Sirius gave her a look. "Haven't you noticed how luscious my locks are?" he asked, twirling a strand of long black hair around his finger girlishly.

Sydney stared. "Um… no, I can't say I have."

Sirius shook his head. "I probably have more hair products than you do!" He eyed her hair. "Okay, I _do_ have more than you."

"Hey!"

"Here," he said, helping her straighten it out. As he finished, he suddenly became very conscious of how close their lips were. Sydney's breath mingled with his, scented like mint mouthwash and bubblegum, which was a very good combination in Sirius' opinion. They hadn't kissed since that day on the Quidditch Pitch, and suddenly, Sirius was seized with the maddening urge to kiss her right then and there. Then, Sydney drew back, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Thanks," she muttered.

"No problem," Sirius said awkwardly back.

With their Butterbeers in hand, they headed back out into the village, preferring to get their day started rather than wait for a table to open up.

~8)

"Hey, do you want to go to Quality Quidditch Supplies?" Sydney asked.

"Um… Do I need to breathe to survive?" Sirius responded.

Sydney laughed. "Come on, let's go then!"

They hurried off to the Quidditch store where they _oohed_ and _ahhed _over the new _Eagleflight 1000_, currently the fastest racing broom ever. It was used mostly for Chasers, but Sirius and Sydney both swore up and down that it didn't matter what you were as long as you could actually use the broom to its full potential, something they were both sure they could do.

While Sydney eyed a new pair of Keeper's gloves, she noticed that Sirius was chatting with the clerk on duty, a very pretty girl with some _very _prominent cleavage. Sydney was surprised to find herself jealous, but when she came up to them, she found them to only be talking about a new Beaters Bat that Sirius had been checking out.

However, she couldn't help noticing the girl's quick once-over and dismissal, as if she couldn't possibly be a threat. Sydney felt a fist of iron fist clamp over her heart.

"Come on, Sirius." Sydney ushered him away.

The clerk shot her an annoyed look. "Are you absolutely sure there's nothing I can help you with?" she asked rather obviously, leaning toward Sirius with her chest out.

Sydney threw her a cold look. "Yes, I'm sorry, but we really do need to go," she shot, not giving Sirius the chance to respond for himself.

Sirius protested slightly at being taken away from his beloved Beater's bat, but stopped when he saw Sydney's expression. "So… where are we going next?" he asked cautiously.

"Um… let's go to Honeydukes!" Sydney suggested brightly.

"And Zonko's!" Sirius reminded her.

"Of course," she said, rolling her eyes. "How could you live without your pranks?"

"Well, 'cause it's 'Preparing for N.E.W.T.s year', we haven't been able to do as many as usual, but I definitely plan to go out with a bang," Sirius grinned.

"Do I get a sneak peek on that?" she asked. "As a Marauder girlfriend?"

Sirius blinked in surprise at the word, 'girlfriend'. He was surprised to feel a warm feeling spread through him, and as he interlocked his hands with Sydney's, he grinned and said cryptically, "Maybe… or maybe not. You'll just have to wait and see."

Sydney scrunched up her nose. "Ugh, I hate waiting," she complained.

Sirius was still focused on her cute expression, but managed to get out, "Patience is a virtue."

Sydney groaned. "My mom says that to me all the time! It's _so_ annoying!"

"Maybe it's because you could use some patience," Sirius teased.

Sydney whacked him. "See what I mean?" Sirius muttered, and ducked as Sydney attempted to hit him again.

A few minutes of back-and-forth banter later, they ducked into Honeydukes. It was, as always, crowded with students. "Come with me," Sirius said, leading Sydney into the back room.

"Uh… are we supposed to be back here?" Sydney asked.

"Of course! The Marauders are star customers here! It's our second favorite place to shop! Though," he added, "it might be Moony's all-time favorite. He does love his chocolate…" He grinned at Sydney who grinned back.

"Come on," Sirius said, leading her through a curtain of rubber mesh, and into another room, where the store manager was leaning over a box of candy.

"Hullo, Rob," Sirius said, settling himself on a crate of chocolates.  
>Rob didn't even look up as he said, "Hullo, Sirius."<p>

He straightened and turned around. "What can I get for—" He spotted Sydney and stopped. He raised his eyebrows. "And who's this young lady?" he asked Sirius.

"This," said Sirius, "is Sydney Wood, Keeper for Gryffindor, and my new girlfriend."

Rob took her hand as he looked them over. "Well, you take care of her, Sirius. She looks like she won't put up with any of your nonsense."

"Oh, don't worry, Rob. I'm on my best behavior."

Rob turned to Sydney. "And you keep him that way, Miss Wood. Merlin knows he could use some shaping up. And with all this candy he's always buying… well, it's a wonder he can even get on that broomstick of his!"

Sydney laughed and replied, "Don't worry, I'll smack him into order!" She grinned at Sirius who looked up meekly at her which only made her smile wider.

Rob settled back. "So what can I get you?"

Sirius cracked his knuckles. "Hm… well, let's see… Moony's turning seventeen soon. I ought to get him some chocolate… And I could use some, too…"

He paused and looked at Sydney. "I ate my way through all of Remus' stash already," he explained. "But don't tell him that—he thinks he's finally found a place I can't find. As if!" he scoffed.

"Anyways… Rob! Let's have… some candy floss, three sugar quills (I like to snack a lot in class), a big container of Chocolate Frogs (Love those things!), a nice big bag of Every Flavor Beans (Don't eat the gray ones, by the way. They taste like earwax.), a package of Chocolate Cauldrons (Remus loves those, for some reason.), some Licorice Twists, a small bag of Salt Water Taffy (Actually, better make that a _big_bag.), some Pepper Imps, Exploding Bon-Bons, and a bag of Fizzing Whizbees. Sydney? What do you want?"

Sydney was staring open-mouthed at Sirius, amazed that he could just rattle off all those orders so quickly and efficiently, and also that he had enough money for it all. "Sydney?"

"Huh? Oh yeah… Umm… I'll just have some Licorice Twists and a Chocolate Frog, please."

Sirius stared at her. "She's delusional, Rob. Get her a big bag of Twists, and a box of Frogs, please. And a box of Beans too. That'll be interesting."

Then, Sirius pulled out a huge bag of gold from his pocket and handed some of it to Rob. "Keep the change," he said. Then, they grabbed the bags and headed to Zonko's, with Sydney still in shock.

"How'd you just— How did you—What—How— Oh, never mind! You just have candy problems!"

Sirius looked offended. "I do not have candy problems," he protested.

"Yes, you do. I cannot _believe_ you just got all that candy."

"Well," said Sirius frowning. "It would have been more, except there are only two of us, and we still have to go to Zonko's, though if you want to go back later…"

"No, no, no! You have way too much candy, Sirius! No wonder you're so excited all the time! You eat way too much of that stuff! How _do_ you even get on your broom?"

Sirius frowned. "Well, it's not like I don't exercise!" he said. "After all, that's what Quidditch is for!"

Sydney stared at him. "Oh, whatever. I'm just wondering what Zonko's going to be like with you."

"Utterly amazing, that's what!"

"I'm so sure…"

Five minutes later, they arrived at Zonko's. It was packed with kids everywhere; so much so, that Sirius had to shrink the bag of candy just to fit through the crowd of Hogwarts students.

Surprise, surprise! Sirius knew the manager here, too. Sirius bought a lot of stuff—most of which was banned—including a Fanged Flyer, a Boxing Telescope, Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder, Decoy Detonators, and a Pocket Sneakoscope. He wouldn't tell her specifically why he wanted all this, only that most of it would probably make an appearance in the End of the Year Prank.

Finally, it was time to head back to the castle for dinner, and the two walked off down the path weighed down by all their packages.

They arrived at the castle and dumped their stuff in their rooms before heading down to grab dinner.

"Hey, Sirius?" Sydney asked him as he was chowing down on a chicken leg.

"Mm?" he replied around the chicken.

"Thanks for taking me today. It was fun."

"Mo pwobem," Sirius replied.

"Would you maybe… want to do it again?" Sydney asked hesitantly.

Sirius finally finished chewing his chicken leg. "Yeah! That'd be great! I mean, we _are_ dating now, aren't we?"

"Yeah, yeah I guess we are."

"Good."

"Though seriously, you need to cut back on your candy, mister." She poked his belly. "Or you're going to be fat!"

"That's what Quidditch's for! I'm a growing boy! I need my candy!"

Sydney laughed. "Alright, alright! We'll work on it."


	58. I Love You, Alice

**A/N: Li'l present for my extra-long update time! Sorry again! **

**Chapter 57 **

**I Love You, Alice**

The pain was gradually fading. Fading, fading, fading….

~8)

Lily was in St. Mungo's. Lily Evans was in St. Mungo's. Bloody hell.

Alice had half a mind to go to the Black Mansion, knock down the door, and duel Bellatrix Black until she was dead, dead, dead. Dead as a doorknob. Dead as Nearly Headless Nick. Dead as… dead as _dead_!

The other half of her mind felt like crying, crying, crying. Absolutely bawling. Blubbering like a baby. Howling, sniveling, sobbing, wailing, weeping, whimpering, and everything else in between.

How could this happen to Lily? Lily… so good and sweet, the model student, the perfect Prefect. The girl who was never mean to a single person in her life—except for maybe James Potter, though she had a valid reason for that. The girl who had—no, _still has_—a whole life ahead of her.

Just then, Frank Longbottom, her long-time boyfriend, walked in. "Hey, Alice." Then, he spotted her conflicted face—half sad, half outraged. "Alice!" he exclaimed, his eyes wide. "What's wrong?"

With a sigh, Alice explained. As she did so, Frank's eyes only got wider and wider. When she finished, he asked, "Is she going to be okay?"

Alice finally began to cry. "I—I don't know. No one will t—t—tell me a—anything!" she sobbed. "And she's my best friend, Frank! I don't know what I'll do without her!"

Frank hugged her, rather awkwardly patting her back. "Shh, shh." He made comforting noises. "I'm sure everything will be okay, Alice."

"B—But what if it isn't?" she wailed.

"Alice." Frank turned her to face him, and tilted up her chin, so she was forced to look at him. "I may not be able to promise that Lily will be okay, but I can promise that I'll be with you no matter what. Okay, Alice?"

She nodded, her fading tears staining his shirt.

Frank paused then said, "And Alice?"

She looked up, her tears blurring her vision. "Yes?"

Frank took a deep breath. "I love you."

Alice looked as if she might cry again. "I love you, too, Frank."


	59. Letters From Unknown

**Chapter 58 **

**Letters from Unknown**

Peter had been receiving messages. Messages from unknown people. And he wasn't destroying them. No, he was keeping them; listening to them.

_It has come to a certain individual's attention that you possess certain powers this individual could use. Please reply if you are interested or not. The owl will know where to go._

There was no signature, no return address; Peter wasn't even sure if it was meant for him. After all, what powers could he have that someone would want? All the same, he felt sure they were for him. So sure that he had replied back that very night.

_Yes. What do I do?_

He hadn't asked who it was—he knew he wouldn't be told.

Peter felt something stirring in him. Finally, finally, someone wanted him. At last, his true talents were being revealed.

There were more messages.

_Information. That is what you must get. Information on Bellatrix Black. _

Peter had felt as if this was a test, and he had been determined to do well. He had amassed a huge amount of knowledge on Bellatrix Black, then sent all of it to whoever wanted it. The owl always stayed in the Owlery until he needed it. He had told the unknown person of Bellatrix's attack on Lily Evans, her grades, anything that might be deemed important. He had done well.

_Well done, Peter. Yes, these letters are meant for you. There will be more requests in the future. Watch for them._

That was the last one, just a week ago. Peter had felt a sort of disappointment wash over him when he realized he would not be needed for a while—then he pushed it away. The point was, he was needed. And now he knew for sure the letters were meant for him. Him, and him alone.


	60. Visitors

**Chapter 59 **

**Visitors**

Lily woke up.

Really woke up, for the first time since the incident. A man in scrubs smiled down at her.

"Hello, Lily. How are you feeling?"

Lily felt her mouth—it was like a desert. She tested her limbs—all were in place, but felt bruised. She touched her head—it hurt.

She looked at the man, who she assumed was a Healer. "I feel like I just got dragged to Hell and back."

The Healer grinned. "Well, that means you're still alive, so that's a success."

Lily groaned and leaned back on the pillow. "Am I allowed visitors?" she asked.

"Yup!" said the Healer cheerfully. "Is there anyone you want me to summon for you?"

Lily's mind flashed around images. James, Sam, Alice. Wait—_what?_ Why had she thought of _James _before Sam? Better yet, why had she thought of James at all? And why was she calling him _James_? She shook her head to clear it. "Um... some of my friends from from Hogwarts maybe?"

The Healer nodded. "Sure! Anyone specific?"

"Um… yeah. Could you get Sam Bell from Hogwarts? And Alice Smith?"

"Of course! I can get them here right away, so prepare yourself!" Then, the Healer was out the door before Lily could even say 'thank you'.

It was weird—being awake. Being- feeling… alive. She hurt everywhere, but, like the Healer had said, at least that meant she was alive. Sighing, she straightened herself up for her visitors.

Five minutes later, Alice and Sam burst into her room. "Lily!" they both yelled enthusiastically. They ran to hug her, but Lily held up her bandaged hands. "No hugging. I'm bruised and cut all over."

They didn't hug her, but they did begin bombarding her with questions and facts about Hogwarts life. Actually, it was mostly Alice who talked. She was bursting with happiness, looking like a ray of golden sunshine as she chattered on and on about trivial things. Sam sat on a chair next to her bed and watched her quietly, a relieved yet slightly concerned expression on his face. Halfway through Alice's talking, he put his head on Lily's bed, cautiously avoiding her bruised limbs, and carefully reached for her hand.

Finally, Alice finished talking. She drew in a deep breath—it seemed as if she hadn't stopped to draw breath at all through her speech. "So! How are you?" she asked, smiling like a million bucks.

Lily laughed. "I'm… okay, I guess. My whole body hurts, but at least that means I'm alive, right?" she smiled.

Sam smiled back at her, and must have seen her rapidly arriving exhaustion. "Alice, why don't we let Lily sleep for a while?" he suggested. Lily flashed him a grateful look. She loved Alice, but sometimes her talking could almost bore you to death.

"Okay!" Alice readily agreed, dancing out the door. "Feel better soon, Lily! Oh, and by the way, Frank says hi! Bye, Lily!" she cried, her voice fading as she rounded the corner, and went out of view.

Sam seemed about to follow her out, until he stopped on the doorframe. He turned around, an intense expression in his eyes, and walked to Lily's bed. He leaned over her and kissed her deeply. They both sighed as it ended.

"I missed that," Sam said.

"Me too," Lily replied, smiling.

Sam pressed something flat in her hand. "Read it when I'm gone" was all he said. Then, he turned and disappeared into the corridor. Lily leaned back her head and sighed. Her tiredness finally getting the better of her, she slipped the letter on her nightstand to wait, where she would read it tomorrow, and then slipped into sleep.


	61. Nightmares

**Chapter 60 **

**Nightmares**

It was the first night Lily had nightmares. The most prominent one made her lurch awake. The only thing she could remember were demonic, black eyes, boring into hers, jolting her from her silent screaming.

Her sweaty, bandaged palms pressed against the sheets as she pushed herself into an awkward sitting position.

In her sleep, it seemed like she had been moving. Her arms and legs burned from the strain of movement, and her throat felt even rawer than it had the day before. She didn't know to where she was running, but she couldn't stop, and the eyes were always there, watching like a clock, ticking out her time.

It was only five in the morning. She groaned. There was no way she was going back to sleep, not after that. And she knew that she would continue to have the nightmares if she did.

Sighing, she leaned back, resigned to missing a few hours of sleep. She could hear faint noises from behind her hospital door as St. Mungo's came back to life for the new day.

Picking up her wand from her bedside, she used it to summon a Healer. The same overly helpful young Healer came. "Good morning, Miss Evans! You're up awfully early!" he beamed. "Is there something I can get you?"

Lily nodded. "A glass of water would be nice," she said.

"Of course! I'll be right back!"

The Healer disappeared again, so quickly that once more Lily found herself with a useless 'thank you' on her tongue.

Soon, the Healer was back with a glass of water. "Here you go, Lily!" He set the water down on her night table, and she smiled tiredly at him.

"Thank you."

"No problem, Miss Evans!"

Before he could pull the disappearing act again, Lily quickly said, "So, I never did get your name…"

"Oh! I'm Benjamin. But you can call me Benjy, if you like."

"Okay, Benjy," Lily smiled at him. He grinned back. "How old are you?" she asked.

"I'm eighteen," he said proudly. "You're my first patient."

"Well, I'm honored."

"Thanks," he smiled at her. "You know, Dr. Cray, the Healer who did the surgery on you, is like, the best Healer. I heard you were really hurt." There was a question in his eyes, but Lily wasn't sure if she was up to talking about it yet.

Carefully choosing her words so she wouldn't hurt his feelings and/or feel like she was dismissing him, she said, "I was, but I'm feeling a lot better now, thanks to you and the other Healers."

He seemed to understand. "Oh, okay. Thanks!"

He glanced at his watch, then at the door. It was now about five thirty. "I'm really sorry, Miss Evans—"

Lily interrupted. "Please, just call me Lily."

He grinned. "Okay, Lily. Anyways, I'm sorry, but I have to go. I have a class at five forty-five, and if I don't leave now, I'll be late."

"Oh, okay. Have fun."

He grimaced. "Not in that one." He lowered his voice. "To be honest, I've never been fond of giving the elderly sponge baths."

He scrunched up his nose as he walked away, leaving Lily chuckling. Now that she was alone, she found herself longing for someone to come. She missed Sam. _But,_ she thought, _he's probably asleep now, anyways. _

She sighed and twirled her wand around her fingers, wishing for a book to pass the time.


	62. Fanazing

**Chapter 61 **

**Fanazing**

"I'm HEREEE! Your life just got a hundred million billion times better!"

Lily started as a huge gray and black lump jumped onto her bed, collapsing with a loud "_Oof_!".

"Sirius?"

"The one and only! The most lovely, gorgeous, lusciously-locked, fanazing person _ever_!" he cried.

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Fanazing?" she asked skeptically.

"That's right! FA-NA-ZING! A combination of fantastic and amazing!"

Lily stared.

"I know what you're thinking!" Sirius declared. "You're thinking: one, how does Sirius Black manage to look so bloody sexy all the time? And two, how in the bloody hell did you come up with 'fanazing'?" He looked at her hopefully.

"No to the first one, and, surprisingly, yes to the second one," Lily replied looking at him amusedly.

"Well, I figured fantastic and amazing are just _way_ too long, so I made them one word! Fanazing! Now I don't have to say as much! Though… that's not really working out considering everyone asks me about it…. I'll have to fix that. A big announcement at dinner should do the trick…"

"Ah… how… fanazing."

Sirius grinned widely. "Isn't it?"

"Mm-hm. Now, if you'll excuse me for asking, but what are you doing here?"

Somehow Sirius managed to look both offended and excited at the same time. "Well, I came to see you, of course!" He paused, his eyes darkening. "After all, it was _my_ deranged cousin who managed to hospitalize you." The words were spoken lightly with a slight smile, but his eyes remained cold and smoldered with anger.

Lily smiled ruefully back. "Well, you don't really owe me anything, Sirius. She hurt you, too."

"Yeah… but…" Sirius trailed off, looking unhappy.

"Come on, let's talk about something a bit more cheerful, hmm? What homework did I miss?"

"You call that a cheerful subject? Merlin, Lily!" Sirius grinned, back to his normal joking self.

Lily laughed. "Fine. I'll get Sam or Alice to tell me," she said haughtily. Then her eyes went wide. "Oh no!"

"What?" Sirius asked, his eyes filled with sudden concern as his hands fluttered uselessly over her bandaged body. "What is it?"

"Oh, it's just… Sam was making me that treasure hunt! And I completely ruined it!" Lily cried, her eyes filled with dismay. "I have to apologize!"

Sirius stared at her, and then burst out laughing.

"It's not funny, Sirius! Oh Merlin, he probably _hates _me! _Why are you laughing_?"

"You're just so funny, Lily! Here you are, all bandaged up in the hospital, after almost _dying_, and you're worried _you _ruined your perfectly healthy boyfriend's _treasure hunt_?" He laughed again.

Lily offered him a small smile. "I guess I am being kind of silly, aren't I? But that won't stop me from apologizing!"

Sirius shook his head. "You really are too good of a person, Lils."

"'Lils'? Since when am I 'Lils'?"

"Since now! I've just decided! From now on, you are officially… pause for dramatic effect… Lils!"

Lily looked at him, bemused. "Did you really just say 'pause for dramatic effect'?"

"Yup! That's what makes me so fanazing!" Sirius replied grinning broadly.

"Okay…. Well, I'm actually quite tired…" she hinted.

"Oh, okay! Well, I'm sure Sammie and Jamsie will want to see you later, too! And Remy, of course! So BEWARE!" He paused and looked around furtively as if to check and make sure no one was listening. "I've never told anyone this before, but…. secretly, they're not all as fanazing as me!"

Lily nodded solemnly. "I can see why."

"Yes! I knew you'd see the light, Lilykins!"

With that, he bounced off the bed and took off down the hospital corridor, causing havoc as he ran past.

Lily sighed and smiled amusedly. Sirius could always put her in a good mood. Which was an odd thing for her to think, since it was only a few days ago that they had come to whatever agreement they had reached. She just wondered why he had said James would want to see her. She shook her head; Sirius was so odd.

Now for that letter….


	63. A Somewhat Inconsequential Feeling

**Chapter 62 **

**A Somewhat Inconsequential Feeling**

Butterfly wings were fluttering in her stomach as Sydney Wood walked into the Great Hall the Monday after her Hogsmeade trip with Sirius. She was nervous, but she managed to hide it fairly well.

Her problem, really, she thought, was quite inconsequential. Stupid, really. Why should she be worrying about where she was going to sit? Who even cared? It's not like _she_ cared about where the bloody hell she was going to sit!

_Oh, who am I kidding?_ Sydney thought, terror lurching in her stomach as she stepped through the doors to the Great Hall. It would have been so much easier if Sirius hadn't been there already; then she wouldn't have the option of sitting with her friends or her boyfriend—Sirius would. But no, her boyfriend was, of course, already there.

Sydney scanned the Hall for her friends. Yup, they were there too.

Bloody hell.

Neither of them had spotted her, and she was feeling like a coward—not to mention pretty stupid—just standing there. She hadn't told her friends of her and Sirius' relationship yet, so she couldn't blame them for not having the decency to sit next to her new boyfriend and sparing her the trouble of choosing between them.

_ Choosing between them?_ she thought_. I'm so melodramatic! I'm not choosing between them... just deciding who to sit with! That's all! _

Sydney took a deep breath. _Just make a decision already, Sydney!_ she told herself harshly. Still, she stood there indecisively, her eyes darting between her laughing boyfriend and his friends, and her own friends.

Just then, Sirius glanced up and saw her. He grinned at her easily and gestured at her to come sit with him. She lurched forward just as her own friends spotted her and waved at her enthusiastically. She whipped her head between them as if she were watching a tennis match, trying to make a choice quickly. It seemed no matter who she chose she hurt someone's feelings.

Her friends knew her well though.

With some quick smiles they stood up, walked over to Sydney, and grinned at her.

"Feeling indecisive, Syd?" teased Jayne Anderson, a Gryffindor Chaser with dirty blonde hair and a nice smile. Her brown eyes sparkled at Sydney as she joked.

Sydney grimaced. "Just a bit," she replied.

Her best friend from Muggle primary school and Gryffindor Seeker, Seth Scanlon, a Sixth Year as well, came up behind her, tall and gangly as he grinned down at her. "It's okay… we don't mind sitting next to your _boyfriend_." He winked at her as she flushed red.

"Shut up, Seth," she growled and playfully shoved him to show she wasn't really mad.

"Yeah, no problem. We all knew you'd fall for Sirius soon enough!" Seventh Year Jakub Andrew laughed. "Though I still think you love me the most."

"Of course, Jakub, how could I _not _love you the most?" Sydney said dryly, rolling her eyes. Jakub only grinned.

Jakub was actually a former Beauxbatons student, but he had transferred in his Sixth Year to Hogwarts. He was quite handsome, and as he slung his arm around Sydney's shoulder casually, Sirius was surprised to find himself very much… jealous.

Jakub spotted Sirius' face and laughed. "Looks like your boyfriend's getting jealous, Syd," he teased her, his arm still around her shoulders.

He grinned delightedly at Sirius' expression and, just to provoke him, began playing with Sydney's hair. Sydney slapped his hand away, blushing furiously as she noticed Sirius' dark face as well.

"Stop it, Jakub," she muttered, her face bright red. He laughed, but stopped playing with her hair. He kept his arm on her shoulder though.

~8)

Sirius had been watching as Sydney's friends came up to her, and then as they came toward him and his friends. He watched as Sydney rolled her eyes and smirked at something Jakub had said, and then as they all laughed. Then as Jakub caught sight of his unfriendly expression and began to play with Sydney's hair, he smoldered angrily. He knew Jakub was only doing it to get a rise out of him, but still….

Jakub Andrew… he'd have to watch out for him. Thankfully, he'd be gone next year.

Sirius started when he realized he had just insinuated that he and Sydney would still be dating next year. He had to admit, he hoped they would be.

Still, Sirius found himself quite glad when Jayne sat between Jakub and Sydney. He leaned over gave her a quick hug and a hello. He was nervous about kissing her—about making their relationship public. They hadn't discussed it yesterday, and he wasn't sure what she wanted for herself… for him… for _them_.

"Hey, Sydney."

"Hey, Sirius." She gave him a warm smile and returned his hug. In an undertone she added, "We need to talk… about us."

"Yeah, okay," he replied albeit a little nervously. "After Quidditch Practice today?"

"Great."

~8)

James was not in the Quidditch spirit. Anyone could see that, though. From the way he spoke to the way he flew, everyone knew his heart wasn't really in it. Sydney, personally, was a bit, well, infuriated by him. She was friends with Lily Evans—not close friends, but all the same, friends; and she was furious with James for dumping Lily so harshly, and then coming crawling back to her. It was, she thought, pathetic. But Sydney was not James Potter, nor was she Lily Evans, and since her new boyfriend was best mates with James, she figured she'd better get used to James and his ways.

She had been scared for Lily, and she was relieved when she was alright, but Sydney knew that if something had happened to her, she would have been able to continue with her life. She wondered if that was a terrible thought.

Sydney was, however, very proud of her friend for continuing on with her life even after James had crushed her. If anyone deserved a good life, it was Lily Evans. And now Lily had Sam, and she was happy, but still James was managing to ruin it for her. It hardly seemed fair. Sydney was sure she—and all of Lily's other friends—longed to knock some sense into the foolhardy boy.

Quidditch Practice ended on a dreary note. Nobody's heart was really in the game, and with the Captain not in the mood to whip them into shape, they played pretty terribly. Seth and Jayne seemed to be doing alright, and Sirius was attempting to make the rest of the team laugh, but it seemed they had all fallen into a deep funk along with their Captain.

Jakub had his N.E.W.T.S. coming up, so he wasn't able to join them on the Pitch. He had a huge stack of homework to finish, and though he grumbled about all of it, Sydney suspected he would rather do that than play Quidditch. She understood—not everyone loved Quidditch as much as she did. At Beauxbatons she knew they didn't even have a Quidditch Team, and everyone was very proper. And it wasn't even that Jakub wasn't into sports, or was lazy. He, like her, was a half-blood and therefore had grown up knowing Muggle sports as well. He played rugby a lot, and football, (though she knew that was 'soccer' in America) and was an incredible athlete. He, like her, was a half-blood and so had grown up knowing Muggle sports as well.

Sydney was glad she had a friend like Jakub. When he had first transferred in Sixth Year, she had to admit, she'd had a _huge_ crush on him. Gradually as they became friends, it faded, and Jakub admitted that he'd had a small crush on her too when she had told him one day about her crush. There followed much flushing of the cheeks and awkward conversations for the next week or so until they snapped out of it.

Since then they had been practically inseparable, only parting when Jakub had to study for his N.E.W.T.S. or for Quidditch.

Seth Scanlon was a huge part of her life as well. She'd known him since Muggle primary school where they had both been in the same school as they were both half-bloods. She had had her first school-girl crush on him in the fifth grade when he had attempted to ask her out on a "date", and later when they both realized how completely idiotic they had been, they had laughed about it.

She had known him for almost her entire life, and she wasn't about to let him go, not even for Sirius. She hoped he wasn't the jealous type; she had many guy friends as a result of her Quidditch playing.

Jayne Anderson was a contradiction to this statement. She was a huge Quidditch fan and player, and she was one of their best team members. She was always ready with a smile and an encouraging remark, and was one of those exceptionally kind people, somewhat unlike Sydney, who was an extremely blunt person.

Everyone knew Peter Pettigrew fancied Jayne, but Jayne really did not like him very much. She, of course, being the exceptional person she was, tried her best to let him down easy, but he was awfully persistent, a trait Sydney thought he must have picked up from his fellow Marauders.

Once again, Sydney felt the brushing of wings in her stomach as she headed off the Pitch to shower and change, and then, finally, meet Sirius. It was time to talk about _them_. If there even was a 'them' yet.


	64. Peter Persistent

**Chapter 63 **

**Peter Persistent**

Fueled with the knowledge that he was finally, for once in his life, accepted into something important, Peter decided he was going to ask Jayne out. For real this time. His small, watery eyes blinked as he spotted Jayne Anderson walk off the Quidditch Pitch to change and shower.

She was still in her Quidditch gear as he sidled up to her.

"H-hey, Jayne." Peter cursed himself for his stutter. He reminded himself of the letters he was receiving, and felt braver.

"Hey, Peter," said Jayne, looking very uncomfortable. "Listen, I've really got to go wash up…" She trailed off, her expression filled with awkwardness as she tried her best to escape Peter.

"Yeah," said Peter, not really listening. "But I was just wondering if you might like to go to Hogsmeade with me?" He surprised even himself with his daring.

Jayne's eyes went wide as she tried her best to edge away from his somewhat cheesy smelling breath. "Oh… um… well… you see…." She cast about for an excuse, any excuse to get away from Peter. She was desperate to get out of this mess. She had always known, of course, that this day would come, she just hadn't expected it to happen so soon.

"Well, you see Peter, I'm actually already going with someone," she blurted out.

"Really?" said Peter, looking a bit suspicious. "Who?"

"Erm… Seth! Scanlon, I mean… Seth Scanlon." The words spilled out before she could stop them.

"I thought you were just friends?" Peter asked, his face filled with skepticism.

"Um… yes, well…. we're uh… trying—something—new I guess." She winced at her obvious lie. Since when had Peter Pettigrew become so confident?

"Hm… well, how about next weekend then?" he asked. Jayne got the feeling he wasn't going to give in easily.

"Um… well, I suppose… if things don't go well with Seth…." Jayne twisted her hands nervously.

"Great!" said Peter, lighting up excitedly. "I'll make sure not to schedule anything!" Jayne's mouth hung open as he walked off before she could speak again.

Had she just… Had she just made a date with _Peter Pettigrew_? Did he honestly think she was going to go with him? She hadn't even made a definite commitment! And since when did _Peter Pettigrew _have anything to schedule anyways?

"Bollocks," she muttered under her breath softly. Sighing, she turned to the locker rooms. Hopefully, she would find a way to get out of this mess. Maybe James and Sirius could help. That is,if they hadn't put her in this mess in the first place anyways by encouraging Peter to be more like them. Oh, they'd get it if they had.


	65. Getting Serious With Sirius & Unpleas

**Author's Note: Hey guys! SORRY FOR THE SUPER LONG UPDATE TIME! As a present, I'm updating two chappies :) Don't hate me! My beta will be going to camp so I may have longer update times for a few weeks, but I should be able to stay semi-on-schedule if all goes as planned. Love chu all!**

**~iambookworm**

**Chapter 64 **

**Getting Serious With Sirius and an Unpleasant Confrontation**

James was going steadily, increasingly crazy. "Padfoot," he started for the umpteenth time. "What _exactly_ did she say when you mentioned me?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, gathering his breath in his cheeks and blowing it out again, slightly reminiscent of a puffer fish, as he replied, for what seemed like the thousandth time, "She didn't really say _anything_, Prongs. I just told her you and Sam and Moony would probably like to see her soon, and she just kind of nodded and then we started talking about something else." He didn't mention that that something else had been about how the others weren't as 'fanazing' as he was. He also conveniently forgot that he had not really said his friends' names, but rather their 'nicknames'. The ones they hated. James would surely blow a fuse if he knew he had been called 'Jamsie' in front of Lily.

"Are you sure she didn't say anything about me?" James pressed.

Sirius huffed. "Yes, Prongs, I'm _sure_! I am _completely_, _one hundred percent positively_, _absolutely certain_ that she did not say anything about you!" He sighed. "Really, Jamsie, get over yourself!"

James glared at him. The use of his hated nickname and Sirius' proclamation that he needed to 'get over himself' was slightly offensive to him.

"Shut up… Black." He finished rather lamely, unable to find a nickname for Sirius that he would dislike. Sirius grinned. There really weren't many variations of his name. Sir or Siri bordered on ridiculous, and though occasionally when James or Remus were really upset with their nicknames they called him 'Star', as his name was technically a star, he found he didn't much care about this. His usual reply was simply, "Thank you, I know I'm a star, but really you needn't rub it in your own face!" (HA!)

At this point the other Marauder would glower angrily at him while he grinned happily at whoever it was. While he didn't necessarily enjoy being called by his last name, he tried his best to mask it, not wanting his mates to see how deeply his family's betrayal had affected him.

They were in the locker rooms now, and James was pulling on his shirt, his towel tucked around his waist as he peered out from around the changing stall's curtain at Sirius.

He sighed. "At least she didn't openly reject the idea, right?" he asked his best mate hopefully.

"Yeah, I suppose," Sirius replied from behind another curtain, not sounding very optimistic at all.

"Do you think… if I came with you lot maybe…." James shot Sirius a hopeful look.

"Mm…" was Sirius' noncommittal reply. James sensed he was dwelling on something else other than his problems with Lily. Resigned, he asked in a slightly bored voice, "What's up, Padfoot? You've been all wonky lately. Is Sydney already getting to your head?"

"Erm… sort of… I guess. We're supposed to talk today… after we change… about… _us_."

"Oh." James was surprised. Normally, the minute a girl wanted to get more serious with Sirius, he would immediately, as he put it, "dump 'em and ditch 'em ".

"So, you and Sydney are serious, then?" he asked, rubbing his towel through his wet, perpetually messy hair in an effort to dry it.

Sirius chucked weakly. "No, _I'm_ Sirius, you dolt."

James rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. But are you guys… you know…?"

Sirius didn't respond at first, and James was about to pose the question again when Sirius' voice came from behind the curtain. "Yeah, I—I suppose. That's what we're supposed to be talking about today, I guess."

"Wow…" James let the word linger in the air.

"Yeah."

The following conversation might have been more interesting if, right at that point, Jayne Anderson had not stormed into the Boy's locker room, her hair still wet and plastered to her head, her eyes sparking dangerously, dressed only in her slacks and a large shirt.

"_James Potter_! _What did you do_?" She strode over to the changing curtain and threw it open. James yelped and tried desperately to hoist his towel higher. Jayne ignored his protests, shouting over them. "What did you do to Pettigrew?" she demanded. "Give him a bit of Confidence Potion, did you? Or send some sort of weird hex his way? Either way, this is _your _fault!"

"What?" James asked, bewildered, still trying to keep his towel from falling off. "What are you blabbing on about, Anderson?"

"I'm _blabbing_ about the fact that your idiotic little friend Pettigrew seems to be under the impression that _I'm_ going on a date with _him_!" she practically yelled at him.

Sirius, who had been quiet so far, now burst out laughing. Jayne's face, already flushed, turned even redder. "Oh, is this _your_ fault then, Black?" she asked, ripping his curtain away too. Immediately, he shut up, and scrambled to finish pulling on his pants. She ignored this display just as she had ignored James', and glared at him. "_Is it_?" she demanded.

Sirius, looking alarmed as he tried to get over the fact that he was half-naked, replied, "No idea what you're talking about, Anderson! I didn't do _anything_!"

Jayne narrowed her eyes at him before stating, "_Fine_. I believe _you_. But _you_, _Potter_," she pulled Sirius' curtains closed around him and seized James' again from where he had tried his best to close them and escape her wrath, "_you_, are not getting off so lightly."

James was looking terrified as he anxiously ran a hand through his messy hair. "Merlin's beard, Anderson! Just let me change, will you?"

"No, I bloody well will not! I want to know why the bloody hell Pettigrew seems to be deluded into thinking I'm going on a bloody date with him!"

James had never seen Jayne so angry, except for perhaps when they were playing against the Slytherins. Normally, she was quite nice and easy-going.

"Well, did you say 'yes' to him?" he asked, trying to start off with the obvious, his hand still in his hair.

"No, I bloody well didn't! Do you think I'm _stupid_, Potter?"

"No, no, of course not! Um… well, what did he say, exactly?" Again, the annoying nervous tick as his hand passed through his hair.

"He asked me if I wanted to go with him to Hogsmeade next trip, and I had to make up this _ridiculous_ story about going with Seth, and then he asked about the next time, and I said maybe if it didn't go well with Seth, and he apparently took that as a complete yes and told me he would be sure not to schedule anything! _As if he had anything to schedu_le!"

"Erm… well, honestly Anderson…. um… I dunno…. Would it be so bad?" The hand moved, rumpling the hair still further.

Jayne looked absolutely furious. "Yes, it would be! I don't want to have to spend any amount of extended time with that cheese-smelling, dwarf-like, pratty little twit!" she exclaimed, breathing heavily. "He is so _bloody_ annoying! _Merlin_, sometimes I just want to tell him to—" A word was used here that surely would have made McGonagalls' lips thin considerably—"off! He's so… URGH!" She lapsed into silence. Sirius was peeking out from behind his curtain, and both he and James were wearing matching expressions of astonishment.

They didn't even bother to defend Peter, considering he was one of their best mates. "Um… well, uh… we'll um… uh… be sure uh… to uh… talk—talk to him about that… erm… if… if that's what you want…?" James stammered, his hand running nervously through his wet hair.

"_Thank you_!" Jayne exclaimed and huffed heavily. She looked at their open mouths and shocked faces and snapped, "_What_?"

They recovered quickly, not wanting to risk her wrath again. "Oh, uh, nothing! Nothing at all! We'll just um… change now… if—if that's alright?"

"Oh, yes, well, go ahead!"

"Right, well, ahem…"

"Oh… right. Bye, Potter, Black."

And with that, Jayne Anderson strode right out of the Boys' locker room as if nothing had just happened.

For a few moments, all remained quiet as Sirius and James just stood there in stunned silence, before Sirius broke it.

"Bloody hell."


	66. What Are We?

**Chapter 65 **

**What Are We?**

Sydney sat in the Great Hall eating breakfast alone. She had woken early and after several tedious minutes of tossing and turning, gave it up as a lost cause and came down to breakfast. As she ate, she reminisced about her talk with Sirius.

_Sydney wasn't exactly sure what they were. Sirius and her, that is. Were they an official couple? She didn't want to be just another one of Sirius' fancies that he pursued for a few weeks, or months if you were lucky. She was looking for a real, stable relationship, but she wasn't sure if Sirius was there yet. _

_ As she showered and changed, she wondered if he could ever care about someone… like that. Could he? _

_ Just as she started to wring out her hair, Jayne burst into the locker room, her face red, shouting something about Peter Pettigrew and schedules. Sydney nodded along, but she wasn't paying much attention.  
>Finally, Jayne threw up her hands and stormed out, to go who knows where. By the sound of raised voices in the opposite locker room, it was there, to yell at the boys for who knows what. <em>

_ A few minutes later, Sydney was ready. She stayed put though, staring at the wall, her stomach churning. She was scared._

_ At last, she summoned her Gryffindor courage, and tossing her damp hair over her shoulder, she strode confidently out of the locker room, her face impassive, not showing any of her inner turmoil._

_ Sirius was just coming out of the boy's locker room with James when she walked out. They were talking in hushed whispers before pausing to laugh quietly._

_ "Sirius?"_

_ He looked up, his stormy gray eyes locking on hers as he slowed, telling James he would meet him in the castle later. He didn't look away from her. _

_ Her heart was in her throat. _

Breathe, Sydney, breathe.

_ James walked off by himself, snickering slightly, but neither noticed him. _

_ "Hey, Sydney."_

_ "Hey."_

_ An awkward silence settled between them. Finally…_

_ "So you wanted to talk…?" Sirius questioned._

_ Sydney couldn't understand how he could be so calm—she was being torn up inside._

_ "Well, yeah. I mean… I just wanted…" She took a deep breath. "What are we?" she asked suddenly. _

_ Sirius frowned. "We're… us. You're my girlfriend, right? And I'm your boyfriend."_

_ "Well, yes, but… is that what a relationship is defined by? I mean…"_

_ She swallowed. She knew what she wanted to ask, but she felt terrible doing it. "I mean, areyougoingtostickwiththis?" she blurted quickly._

_ "What?" _

_ "Are you… are you going to stick with this?" she asked quietly, staring at her feet. "With us?" She looked up into his unfathomable eyes. "I don't want to be just a fling, Sirius. And I'm… I'm scared that's all you want." She gulped, feeling like crying for some strange reason._

_ Sirius stared at her. "Sydney… how could you even ask that? How could you—of course I-"His eyes looked reproachfully at her, turning from expressionless to hurt. "How could you even ask that, Sydney?" he repeated._

_ "I'm sorry," she said, a lump in her throat. "I just… I've seen the way you treat other girls, Sirius, and I don't want to be like that. I can't! It's not fair for you to do this! How am I supposed to know what you're thinking? I want something real, Sirius. But I don't know what you want." She wasn't angry, just sad and miserable. This wasn't turning out anything like she had expected._

_ "Well, I know what you want! And apparently, I'm not it!" he spit, his eyes dark and angry._

_ He turned and stormed away, leaving Sydney to look after him, feeling as if she had just made the biggest mistake of her life. _

_ A few tears fell down her cheeks, freezing on her face in the chilly wind. _

_Everything was a disaster_, Sydney thought, staring dispiritedly at her breakfast. She had ruined everything. Just like always, she thought too much into things—she couldn't just enjoy what she had. And now she had paid the price. Stifling a sob, Sydney got up, collected her things, and practically ran from the Hall.

~8)

"I still can't believe her!" Sirius exclaimed for the umpteenth time, throwing up his hands as he watched James collect his school things. James, not really listening, having tuned out after the tenth "I can't believe her!", gave a noncommittal grunt. _Where's my Potions book, dammit! Maybe I can get Lily to let me partner—oh, yeah. Damn. _

While James stumbled around looking for his textbook, Sirius continued his rant. Remus and Peter had already gone down to breakfast, and Sirius had waited for James, supposedly to help him find his book, though James suspected it was really so he didn't have to face Sydney.

"I mean, how could she not think I'm serious about our relationship? She's not a fling, dammit! Why would she even say that?"

He seemed to be waiting for an answer, so James, who was now under Peter's bed, decided he had better reply. "Maybe it's because you've dated more than half the female population here, and none of your relationships have ever lasted more than two months?" he suggested, his voice muffled. "Eww! I found Peter's Potions homework from Third Year! Oh, look, he never finished it. It looks kind of… alive."

Sirius was still contemplating James' answer and not listening. Finally he went with the easy response.

"Hey! What was that for?" James groaned, emerging from under the bed and rubbing his back where Sirius had hit him with a book.

"Oh, look! It's my Potions book! Have you had this the whole time?" he asked Sirius accusatorially. Sirius, not even pretending to pay attention, continued with his rant.

"I'm serious about this relationship!" he declared again.

"Padfoot, mate. If you're so serious about this relationship, why aren't you down there trying to fix it?" James asked, standing and sliding his school bag over his head as he started for the door.

As James left, he glimpsed Sirius sitting there with his mouth agape. Hopefully, Sirius would put two and two together and realize what an idiot he was being. In the meantime, there was some bacon with his name on it.


	67. Don't Think

**Chapter 66 **

**Don't Think**

She wasn't sure where she was going. She wasn't really sure about anything. She hated to cry, but it seemed inevitable. But she would hold out for just a few more moments, just until she could find a quiet place to be by herself, a quiet place to cry.

_Don't think._

She had already given her heart away, and now it was just being thrown back in her face. She hadn't known it until now—now that her heart was gone—but now she knew, and it hurt. She used to make fun of those girls that did this, this crying/running away thing, but now she knew.

_ Don't think._

She knew how it felt… how it seemed as if your heart had been brutally ripped away and thrown, how badly you hated yourself for giving it away, how badly you hated him for breaking it, and how much you just wanted to run, run, run until you outran all of it.

_Don't think._

So Sydney ran. She ran and ran and ran, trying to outrun her problems. Unfortunately for her, her problems never stopped, but she had to.

_Don't think. Don't think. Don't think. _

~8)

Sirius sat on the bed, thinking. He didn't normally think—well, that wasn't true. He didn't normally think _this hard_. Pranks and schoolwork came naturally to him, as well as excuses. And he never thought about relationships. Never. But he did think. And this…

He didn't understand it. A while ago, he had thought he had lost everything. His mother, his father, his brother, his sad excuse for a family. And yet, no matter how terrible they had been, they had still been his family.

He had made a new family. And now he had lost one of its most important members.

Sydney Wood. She was perfect for him, in every way. He was quite sure he loved her—or, at least, as much as a teenager with an identity crisis and lots of testosterone could love someone.

There was only one question anymore.

Would she take him back?

~8)

She had ruined it.

_Don't think._

It was all her fault.

_Don't think._

The tears were coming now, streaming down her face.

_Don't think._

And still… she had to. She couldn't not.

_Don't think._

But it didn't matter. Because she was thinking. No matter how much she hated to, she was. She deserved it, though. To think about it. To relive every agonizing moment. It was her fault. All her fault.

_Think. Think. Think._

But don't.


	68. Apology

**Chapter 67**

**Apology**

"Sydney… Sydney… Sydney… Aha!" Sirius pumped his fist triumphantly into the air, having located Sydney's dot on the Marauder's Map. He raced away, his eyes glued to the map and her small dot.

"Damn, she moves fast," he muttered. He thought he had a general idea of where she was, so he slid through a secret passageway in the wall, and headed off.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, he saw their paths would cross.

He got there moments before her, and he took the opportunity to rest, leaning against the wall and staring fixedly at the dot labeled "Sydney Wood", and under that, in parentheses, "Padfoot's Special Friend ;)".

Seconds later, she rounded the corner.

~8)

_Damn it! How did he find me?_ Sydney thought, anger and agony welling up in her. She pausesd briefly, considering. Move forward? Or turn around?

~8)

Sirius stowed the Map in his pocket, and looked up just as Sydney stepped back. "Sydney?" he asked nervously.

Her eyes were red and puffy and she looked like she'd been through hell and back. "Excuse me," she said stiffly, and she turned abruptly on her heel. Before she moved a step though, Sirius was there, blocking her way.

"Sydney," he said again, his voice strained.

"What do you want?" she asked, refusing to look at him, but staring straight ahead, as though she was extremely fascinated by the wall.

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly, the words tumbling over each other. "Merlin, Sydney, I'm so damn sorry. I'm a messed up person, I know, and I made a mistake, but Merlin, Sydney, I was an arse. I get it, I do. I'm not exactly your typical trustworthy guy. But this is real. It is, I swear. And I just really, really hope you'll take me back."

She stared at him, astonished. A long silence ensued, broken by Sirius when he Sirius said nervously, "This is normally about the time you say something…hopefully something about how much you love me and missed me…?" He smiled anxiously.

She snapped out of it suddenly, and she bit her lip. Then, she lunged forward, and all of a sudden they were hugging, and Sirius wasn't exactly sure what to do with his hands, and she was crying, and he was doing that awkward patting thing, and they both knew it was going to be all right.


	69. Friends

**A/N: Okidoki! Anyone have an account at figment .com? If not, make one! It's just a website to share your work, but it's one of the best out there. Anything from original work to FFs! Check me out on there: Kylie Wang. My other L/J FF is on there (For The First Time), and I've just entered a piece for the Summer Reading Contest called Fireworks And Anti-Socialists, so if you do have or are making one, if you could read, comment, and/or "heart" it, it would really help! Thanks!  
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**Also, I've posted a new One-Shot called Telling Lily. (It's also on figment) Of course, it's from the Marauders Era. Read and Review please! Thanks!**

**Chapter 67 **

**Friends**

"Hey guys!" Lily welcomed the bundle of people filing in to her hospital room, filling it to capacity

Sirius Black; smirking arrogantly, holding hands with Sydney Wood (When did _that_ happen? Lily wondered); Sydney herself, smiling slightly, seemingly embarrassed, but happy, as her face flushed lightly; Remus Lupin, grinning at her happily, looking tired yet still alert; Sam Bell, his face lighting up at the sight of her sitting up easily; Alice Smith, her face shining with elation, her hand clasped in Frank Longbottom's; Frank, looking a bit uncomfortable but smiling all the same; Marlene McKinnon, offering her a radiant smile full of jubilation; Jayne Anderson, looking happy, yet slightly queasy for some odd reason; Seth Scanlon, his arm draped over Jayne's shoulders in a strictly brotherly way; Jakub Andrew, looking comfortable standing next to Sydney; James Potter, smiling nervously at her, his hand running through his hair… Wait—_what_? What the bloody hell was James Potter doing here? Hm… She decided to just forget about it for the moment and enjoy her friends' company.

"Hey guys!" she welcomed them brightly.

A chorus of "hey"s echoed back at her. For a second, there was a slightly awkward silence. Then…

"So you guys got any good food round here?"

Everyone laughed at Sirius as Sydney rolled her eyes and poked him in the stomach. "Really, it's a wonder his broomstick can even support him!" she joked.

The awkwardness was broken effectively, and soon Alice and Marlene were bombarding Lily with gossip from school she had missed; Sydney was blushing through her tale of how she had gotten together with Sirius; Jayne was complaining about her supposed "date" with Peter coming up; Remus was stuttering through a recounting of Samantha Hart's acceptance of him, full with many exclamations of, "Really, Davey Chang!"s; Seth was roaring with what seemed to Lily as slightly forced laughter as Jayne told her about having to pretend to go to Hogsmeade as dates, blushing all the while; Sam was grinning widely at her, his hand finding hers beneath the sheets and squeezing gently; Sirius was trying to get someone to accompany him to the cafeteria downstairs; Frank was being dragged away by Sirius, looking slightly alarmed, his eyes wide as he tried to catch Alice's eye so she could save him; Jakub was poking fun at Jayne and Seth's "date"; and Potter… well, Potter was just staring at her.

It was quite odd.

Really, James Potter was just quite queer, wasn't he?


	70. Love Is A Fickle Thing

**Chapter 68 **

**Love Is A Fickle Thing**

"I read your letter. It was really sweet. And I'm sorry I couldn't be there for it." Lily smiled softly at her boyfriend, glad they were finally alone, as he rolled his eyes.

"Really Lily, please don't apologize. I _am_ glad you liked the letter though." He smiled back at her.

Lily took a deep breath. She needed to know for sure. "Did you… did you mean it? Did you mean… that you loved me?"

He took her hand again and replied, "Of course I did, Lily. I love you, Lily Evans."

It seemed as if she were glowing. "I love you too, Sam."

They sat there for a while longer, murmuring quiet words to each other, oblivious to the boy outside whose heart was steadily being shattered.

~8)

Lily. Sam. Lily loved Sam. Lily did not love James.

James' breath hitched in his throat. After they had all left Lily's room, leaving Sam alone with her for a few precious moments, he had doubled back, offering to get Marlene's bag for her as she had left it in the room, and that was when he had heard them.

_Of course I did, Lily. I love you, Lily Evans._

_ I love you too, Sam._

And that was when a little part of him shriveled and died inside. It was as if they were out at sea, and no matter how hard James rowed in his small boat, he could never catch up to that other, faster boat, that bigger boat named Sam. And his arms were exhausted, and his mind was tired, and his heart was so heavy, heavy, heavy.

~8)

Davey Chang. Remus had come to hate the name. Davey Chang was… well… abso-bloody-lutely perfect. He was tall. He was strong. He played Quidditch. He was intelligent. He was in Ravenclaw. He was older. He was bloody perfect. And Remus was fairly sure he hated him.

Hated him with a fiery, burning hatred that encompassed his heart. And the only thing that stopped his heart from spontaneously combusting was Samantha Hart.

Samantha Hart. Remus had come to love the name. Samantha Hart was perfect. Samantha Hart was gorgeous. Samantha Hart was cute. Samantha Hart was kind and sweet and beautiful and lovely and perfect. Davey Chang was not perfect—not compared to Samantha Hart. And so he didn't deserve her. But then… did he?

Remus Lupin. Remus was not perfect—not even close. He was a bookworm, for one thing. He wasn't handsome. He wasn't tall. He wasn't strong. He didn't play Quidditch. He wasn't in Ravenclaw. He wasn't older. The only thing he really had going for him, he thought, was the fact that he was smart, but Davey Chang was smart, too. And it really depended on the girl—sometimes girls didn't like it when guys were smarter than them. So really, what did he have?

What did he have… compared to Davey Chang?

And then there was the fact that he was, of course, a monster. A werewolf. A beast. An abnormality. And how could he do that to someone? How could he condemn anyone to that fate?

But she _had_ said she wanted to go to Hogsmeade with him. She _had_ said that she would have preferred to go with him rather than Davey Chang. She _had_ said all of that. And she _had_ kissed him. Well, on the cheek, but that was something in itself.

_ Bloody hell. What am I going to do?_

~8)

_ I have a date with Jayne Anderson. _

Jayne Anderson, the girl of his dreams. Jayne Anderson, the girl whom he had crushed on since he had first seen her play Quidditch. Jayne Anderson was everything a small, pudgy, watery-eyed boy could dream of and more.

There was only one problem. And its name was Seth Scanlon. It was, Peter mused, really, quite a good thing he had such powerful friends.

Jayne Anderson. Jayne and Peter. Peter and Jayne. Brilliant.

~8)

Sydney Wood… There was only one thing of which Sirius was absolutely certain about her. Make that two. Nah, make it three.

One: She loved Quidditch.

Two: She was a brilliant kisser. That was saying something, since Sirius had kissed over half the Hogwarts female population.

Three: She was the most confusing person Sirius had ever met. And _that_ was _really_ saying something considering he also knew James Potter.

~8)

He was small. He was pudgy. He had watery eyes. He ate too much cheese. He was annoying. His voice was squeaky. He was, all in all, slightly pathetic.

But she still felt sort of bad.

That, she decided, was probably the worst thing about her. She was way too bloody sympathetic.

And now she had to go on a "date" with Seth. Seth Scanlon, for Merlin's sake! They were _friends._ _Just friends_. That was all. And besides, even if she _did_ like him, which she didn't, he obviously didn't like her. When she had told him about their supposed "date" he had _laughed_, after all. So he didn't like her. And she didn't like him. Not at all.

…

Well, maybe a bit.

~8)

Alice and Frank absolutely adored each other.

And that was all there was to it.

There was no Alice without Frank, and there was no Frank without Alice. AliceandFrank. FrankandAlice.

It was a simple love. Simple, stupid, amazing, brilliant love.

And they both loved it just as much as they loved each other.

~8)

Samantha Hart was fairly sure she was smitten. The problem was, she wasn't sure with who? Davey Chang was brilliant of course, but Remus Lupin….

When she saw Remus, her heart skipped a beat, then pumped so hard she felt anyone could hear it, she felt shaky and nervous, she got the butterflies, and she blushed.

When she saw Davey Chang, she felt like smiling. She felt like giving him a hug. She did not feel like blushing. She did not get the butterflies. She did not feel shaky or nervous. And her heart most certainly did not pump hard or skip a beat.

So she was fairly certain she fancied the pants off Remus Lupin.

It was a good thing the next Hogsmeade weekend was coming up.

After all, she had a hot date.

~8)

He couldn't believe this was going to happen. It was laughable. Ironic. But most of all… cruel.

To be going out with Jayne, the girl he had liked for what seemed like forever, was a joke. It was just funny. Really. He was practically in hysterics.

For those of you who are sadly unlearned in the art of sarcasm, it was just applied in the sentences above.

Ever since he'd first seen Jayne, he'd liked her. Of course, she made it clear she only wanted to be friends, and he had never had the nerve to ask her out.

At least, he thought despairingly, he could go out on at least one "date" with her. If that was all he could get, he was going to take it.

~8)

Sydney wasn't really sure about anything concerning her boyfriend. But that, she supposed, was what she loved about him.

But it was also what she hated.

He was so confusing. But she liked him—a lot. Enough to stick around for a while, at least.

~8)

Jakub Andrew was one of the most wanted boys in the school, after the Marauders. He was about equal with Davey Chang, perhaps even more, the female population of Hogwarts concurred.

He was French, to begin with. And the girls all giggled in hushed whispers when he passed by—foreign boys, especially _European_ boys, were _hot_. But he didn't play Quidditch, and that was a major dunk on his hotness level, according to the girls of Hogwarts.

But Jakub Andrew wasn't currently looking for a girlfriend. So he supposed he didn't really care.

After all, there was still Fleur, back at Beauxbatons. But he doubted she, a Veela, would stay faithful. And he didn't blame her. Not one bit.


	71. Worst Fears

**A/N: I would just like to thank an anonymous reviewer who's been going through this and reviewing on many chapters. Thank you to you and all of my reviewers and readers. It really makes my day when I get reviews! I'm so proud of what I've done here, especially with this piece. Thank you so much! **

**Chapter 70**

**Worst Fears**

The day after she returned to Hogwarts, Lily went back to classes.

The Sixth Years had all been studying for the N.E.W.T.s they had in Seventh Year, and almost all the teachers had been doing reviews.

Lunch was an awkward affair, with everyone trying to help Lily with everything they could, and her getting irritable over all the special treatment. Finally, they all made their way to Defense Against the Dark Arts, where they were informed they would be reviewing Boggarts that day.

As a way for the Fifth Years to catch up, they would also be attending the class.… Needless to say, Lily was probably more excited than the average Sixth Year Defense student.

"All right everyone!" Professor Merrythought clapped, getting down to business as usual. "Since we've already been over Boggarts, I expect everyone to do their best! Black! When you're ready, you know what to do."

Sirius grinned arrogantly, and walked to the front of the room where the door to an old cabinet stood waiting. With a flick of his wand, the professor opened the door, and instantaneously the Boggart transformed into a Death Eater. Several students gasped as the hooded figure walked forward and it's hood fell, revealing Sirius' own self beneath it.

For a second, Sirius' expression twitched into something unidentifiable, but then he said, "_Riddikulus_!" in a loud clear voice, and his Boggart self's robes turned pink with red hearts before falling off to reveal underwear of the same design. They whole class cracked up and students began to take their turns.

"Bell! You're up next!" Merrythought yelled.

Sam smiled and walked up, and Lily, eager to see what his worst fear was, leaned forward. The Boggart shifted… and revealed a serious looking Healer.

Sam's face drained of color.

~8)

_Damn it! I can't let Lily see that! _Sam thought anxiously. He knew perfectly well what the Healer-Boggart was going to say, and he couldn't let her hear that. He had imagined the scenario perfectly before, while he had been waiting, sick with worry, for Lily to get better. Before the Healer-Boggart could speak and tell him all about Lily's death, he waved his wand and yelled, "_Riddikulus_!"

The Healer-Boggart opened it'sits mouth to speak…

And all that came out were duck noises. "Quack! Quack!" iIt honked angrily as the class laughed uproariously.

Relieved, Sam moved to the back of the class.

~8)

"Potter, you're up next!"

James walked up feeling tense. He reminded himself it was only a Boggart and he felt a bit better. Then the Boggart shifted and a solemn Healer walked toward him.

Shit.

~8)

_Wait a minute… Could it be? James' worst fear was also his?_

Sam watched the Boggart take form and step forward. James' wand hung uselessly at his side.

_Damn it! He can't let Lily see that!_

Making a split-second decision he pointed his wand carefully under the desk and whispered, "Riddikulus!"

But he was too late.

~8)

James was frozen. Merlin, Merlin, Merlin. Merlin, save me now! The Healer-Boggart opened its mouth and said clearly, "Mr. Potter, I'm afraid to tell you that a certain Miss Ev-"

And then the Boggart-Healer began to sing a ridiculously loud song involving a yellow submarine. James looked around for his savior, sure that he hadn't done anything.

Instead, the whole class was looking up at him, awed.

"Did he just do non-verbal magic?"

"We weren't scheduled to even practice that until N.E.W.T year!"

Of course, James actually could use non-verbal magic, but he didn't like to show it off. Particularly since it brought up the rather embarrassing memory in which he had first had to use it.

It had been in Fifth Year when they were first transforming into Animagi. He had gotten stuck half-way transformed with a stag snout, and he couldn't say the incantation.

Remus, Peter, and Sirius were already in the Shrieking Shack and he was supposed to be joining them shortly. Suffice it to say, Sirius had actually eventually come to see what was taking so long, worried something had gone wrong, and found James.

Unfortunately, he found the situation rather funny, and James had had to undo the spell himself.

~8)

"Impressive Mister Potter, very impressive," Professor Merrythought said looking thoughtful. "Evans! You're up!"

Lily walked up, feeling somewhat confident. She wasn't exactly sure what her worst fear was, but she thought she could handle it. She had made a mental list of things she was scared of and had thought of solutions for each.

But there was one thing she wasn't prepared for…

And that was for Professor Merrythought.

"Oops! Evans! Stand down! You're not scheduled to participate in practical classes until next week!"

Lily stared.

_Unacceptable!_ she wanted to yell, but she controlled herself and reigned in her embarrassment and anger. She walked quickly to her desk, her each step seeming louder and louder.

~8)

"Well, that's that then!" Merrythought said, seemingly oblivious to the awkward silence. "Mister Lupin!"

Remus walked up, feeling nervous. He knew, undoubtedly what the Boggart would transform into. He wondered briefly if Merrythought was aware of his condition, and, if so, why he was still letting him go up. Was this some kind of sick torture? ?

_No, you're just being paranoid. Just be glad Samantha's not here, _he told himself.

Taking a deep breath, he faced down the Boggart just in time for it to whirl and shift into a full moon. He could hear the class whispering behind him, and wondered if anyone understood his fear. Then he heard himself say the incantation and watched as the moon turned into a white balloon and zoomed around the enormous classroom. He heard a few faint laughs, but he knew most everyone was more devoted to wondering why the heck he feared full moons, or in one girl's case, why he feared clouds.


	72. Friends?

**Chapter 71**

**Friends?**

"Hey, Lily!"

James Potter was running toward her. Why the heck was James Potter running toward her? She glanced around reflexively to see if he was talking to someone else. But he was staring at her. And now he was in front of her. He was gasping.

Lily watched James recover in a detached manner. She wasn't quite sure what he was doing, and she had learned to freeze out any emotions she might've had for him. Now, whenever she saw him, she only felt numb.

James voice intruded into her thoughts, sounding vaguely echo-ish.

"Lily… I was wondering, I mean, well, can we go somewhere private?"

She hesitated then nodded her head, biting her lip ever so slightly.

~8)

_Damn. She's biting her lip. That's bad. But at least she agreed… Okay, pull yourself together James! Remember what Moony told you! _James thought to himself, trying to remember all the advice Remus had given him on girls, and, in particular, Lily.

_"Moony…" James groaned, his head out of view as he was hanging off the arm of the couch._

_Remus didn't glance up from the book he was reading. His eyes still going a mile a minute as he drank in the words, he replied, "Yes, James?"_

_"Lily _hates_me!__**"**_

_"Yes, she does appear to strongly dislike you. I don't know if I would go as far as hate though," Remus answered, his eyes still glued to his book._

_"No, she _hates_ me!"_

_Remus sighed, closing his book. "Well, it seems to me that you want advice, correct?"_

_James nodded enthusiastically, and sat up quickly. He made an odd noise ("URGHH") as all the blood rushed to his head._

_Remus ignored this and continued, "It seems to me that the first step to love is like. So you have to get Lily to just like you, first. I mean, she 'hates' you now-"_

_"She doesn't hate me!"_

_"You just said-"_

_"Yeah, but you're not supposed to say that!" _

_Remus groaned. "Fine! She morally dislikes you!" _

_"That's better," James grinned, enjoying ticking off his mate._

_Rolling his eyes, Remus continued. "So I would start off by being friends."_

_"Friends…" James echoed. "Alright. I suppose I could deal with that."_

_"Good. Now let me finish reading please!"_

Lily and James were now in an empty classroom. Lily wondered vaguely if her friends had saved her a seat at ?, then dismissed this. Of course they had.

James was nervous. He felt sweaty and hot all over, and loosened his tie. She hadn't said anything yet.

It didn't seem as if James were going to speak, so Lily prompted him, "You wanted something?"

The worst part was her tone wasn't even cold- it was simply uninterested. Bored, even.

"Yeah, well, you see… I just thought, well I thought maybe we could be friends?" he asked quickly.

She looked at him. He couldn't discern what she was thinking, so he looked back, attempting to put all the sincerity he had into his gaze.

"Maybe someday," she replied off-handedly, and then, as he stared at her, mouth slightly agape, she floated out of the room.


	73. Drama

**Chapter 72**

**Drama**

"James wants to be _friends_?" Alice asked, sounding amazed.

"Yeah…" Lily replied, picking through her food quietly. "Are they staring at me again?" she asked Alice.

The other girl stole a furtive glance at the Marauders and frowned. "Yes…" she replied testily.

"Whatever. Have you seen Sam yet?"

"Yeah, he and Frank should be here any minute now… there they are!" Alice smiled and waved the two boys over.

They both took a seat next to their respective girlfriends and pecked them quickly on their cheeks. Sam laced his hand with Lily's under the table.

"Hey, Lily."

"Hey, Sam." Lily brightened at his voice.

She settled into her old, happy self as Sam chatted with her, forgetting the watchful boys just a few seats over.

~8)

"Prongsie!" Sirius greeted James joyfully, but his voice was strained.

"Hey, Padfoot," he replied, subdued.

"It didn't go well then?" Sirius asked quietly, leaning forward as James dropped into his seat.

"Nope."

Sirius sat back and surveyed James, his eyes flicking to Remus.

"What say you, Moony?"

Remus looked up from his ever-present book. "What?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and jerked them over to James moody, hunched over form.

With a heavy sigh, Remus replied, "What did you say, exactly?"

"I asked her if we could be friends."

"And she said?"

"'Maybe someday'," he quoted bitterly.

"Well, that's promising!" Remus enthused, trying to up James' spirits.

"Yeah… bloody brilliant."

Remus stared at him for a moment before returning to his book.

"We've been watching her," Sirius said.

James raised an eyebrow. "Just the last few minutes!" Sirius protested defensively.

"Good, I don't need you stalking her too. Just add that to the list of reasons why she hates me," James replied drily.

"Anyways… she looked kinda depressed for a while…"

"Until Sam got there," James finished his sentence grumpily.

"Well, yeah…"

"Forget it, Pads. Just forget it."

~8)

_Forget it? _Forget it!_ Does he mean forget _all _of it? Everything? Surely he couldn't! _Sirius grimaced. There was way too much drama. And none of it was centering around him! Well, now that Lily and he were friends… Were they friends? Well, at least they were _friendly_. And maybe she'd talk to him….


	74. A Charity Case, Possible Second Chanc

**A/N: SOOO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! I'll make it up to you. Let me finish editing 74 and I'll post that right away!**

**Chapter 73**

**A Charity Case, Possible Second Chances, And Broken Hearts**

"Hey! Hey, Lils!"

Lily slowly turned, cringing a little at the voice calling her name. "Hey, Sirius," she greeted him as he ran up and caught his breath.

"Whew! You move _fast_! If I didn't know you better, I'd think you were avoiding me!" he replied, grinning a little uneasily.

Lily winced. Truth be told, she _had_ been avoiding him, but only because she was pretty sure she knew what he wanted to talk about. And she did_ not_ want to talk. Not about that. Not about anything that had to do with James Potter, really.

"Of course not!" she said uncomfortably. "We're friends now, right?" She offered him a small, ironic smile.

"Right," he replied, falling into step with her as they headed out to the Lake. "So, theoretically, _as friends_, you wouldn't mind me asking why you rejected James again, right?" he asked, his voice losing some of it'sits lightness. "Theoretically, I mean."

"Theoretically," Lily repeated.

"Yes," Sirius said, sounding slightly annoyed now. "Theoretically." _What doesn't she get about theoretically?_ he thought.

Sighing, Lily resigned herself to her fate. "Well… _theoretically_, I suppose it would be all right."

"Great. So, Lily: Why_ did _you reject James again?"

"I didn't reject him. He misinterpreted what I said." She sighed heavily."So… you _want_ to be friends?"

"I never said that."

"So… you_ don't_ want to be friends?"

"I didn't say that either."

"So… you _want _to be friends, but you don't?"

"Exactly."

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU MEAN WOMAN? Sirius wanted to shout. He calmed himself, then responded.

"It seems like you're a little indecisive there, Lils," he said lightly.

"Indecisive? Nice."

"I know. Remus taught me." Sirius smiled, slightly proud of himself. Then he realized… "Hey! No changing the subject!"

"Right, right. Didn't mean to…" Lily muttered.

"So…?"

"So what?"

This conversation was getting no where. Sirius decided to go for the direct approach.

"Bloody hell, Lils! _Do you_, or do you _not _want to be friends with James? Do you even like him at all? Even a little, teeny, tiny bit? Even this much?" he asked, holding apart his fingers so close they were almost touching.

Lily laughed humorlessly. "Well, I don't exactly _like_ him, Sirius." At his stony expression she hurried on. "But I don't _hate _him either. It's just… complicated."

"Try to Explain then."

"It's just… Well… It's like… Bloody hell, Sirius, does he _like_ toying with my emotions?"

"What d'you mean?"

"Well look at it from my point of view! I finally decide to like him, and we go on this amazing date, and he kisses me-"

"Whoa, too much information!" Sirius looked slightly horrified.

"Okay, okay. So, he kisses me, and it's amazing, and then he breaks my heart! And then, he realizes my parents are dead, so he feels guilty, and he tries to pick up the pieces! I don't think so, Sirius. I'm not a charity case. And saving me doesn't change a thing, so don't let him think it does. It was nice, and I'm grateful for it, but he would have done it for anyone."

Sirius looked flabbergasted. "Is _that_ what you think you are to him, Lils? A _charity case_?"

Lily looked at her feet. "I shouldn't have said that."

"But it's what you think."

"Yes… Yes, that's what I think."

"You know that's not true, Lils. He loves you."

"_Don't say that! You_ know_ it's_ _that's_ not true. It's not fair for him to put all this on me. Not fair for _you_ to! I gave him a chance—- he blew it. It's not my fault. You don't tell someone you love them and then break their heart in front of everyone. That's not what someone who loves you does."

"He made a mistake!"

"That wasno mistake!" Lily retorted. "He did what he did, and that's it. Merlin, Sirius! If Sydney broke your heart, _right now_, in front of _everyone_—- if she _embarrassed_ you, _humiliated_ you in front of everyone you know—- how do you think you would feel? Would you want to still be friends? And then if she came crawling back to you—- if she felt pity for you, if she wanted to go out with you again, even after she did that, even after you had a new girlfriend, a girlfriend who you_ loved_—- would _you_ want to be friends with her? Would _you_ still love her?"

Sirius looked at her, realizing for the first time how Lily must be feeling. "I'm-I'm sorry, Lily. I never really thought about how _you _must be feeling."

"Of course you didn't! No one ever does! I'm not some sack of flour to be passed around to the highest bidder, Sirius!_ I _decide how I'm feeling._ I _decide what to do for myself. Not you. Not James. Not Sam. Not Alice, or Remus, or Marlene, or_ anyone_! I _love_ Sam, and nothing you can say can change that."

But even as she stormed away, she heard Sirius say, so quietly she wondered if he meant for her to hear, "But are you _in_ love with him?"

And she wondered if she believed in second chances.


	75. Time Apart

**A/N: I have a new one-shot out! It's called Telling Lily, so please go take a look at it! Thankity thank thanks!**

**Chapter 74**

**Time Apart**

"I think… I think we could use some time… apart."

"What?" Sam stared at Lily, uncomprehending. _What? She can't- She doesn't mean…?_

"I said… Oh, Sam, don't make me repeat myself. You know what I said." Lily bit her lip, looking distressed and distraught.

"O-okay. What brought this on?" Sam asked, still in a temporary shock.

"I… Just… I dunno… We're just… I feel like… we're not… _clicking_. Y'know?"

Sam stared. "No. No, I don't know."

Lily looked really uncomfortable now. "I'm not saying we're… breaking up. Just… I don't really want a boyfriend right now. I'm sorry."

She twisted her hands nervously as she waited for Sam to reply.

"I thought you loved me."

"I do! I do, but… I don't know if I'm… _in _love with you."

"What does that mean?" Sam wondered.

"Well… I love you. I meant that. But it's just… I mean, I also love Alice and Remus and Marlene and Sirius. But I'm not_ in_ love with any of them."

"But you… And I… I love you, Lily! You can't just… You said…"

"I know. I know what I said, Sam, but this isn't something I'm just saying. It's what I'm feeling and nothing you can say can change that." Anger flushed her cheeks as she snapped out the words.

"You can't-"

"Don't tell me what I can and cannot do, Sam! I do what I want to do, not what someone else tells me to do. Just… back off, all right? I need to think things through. There's stuff going on… and I don't know what I want anymore, okay?"

"You want… I thought you wanted… Lily, be honest with me. Do you want to be my girlfriend anymore?"

His quiet tone hurt more than she'd expected. "I don't know."

"Well… Well, then. I suppose we're breaking up."

"Sam…" She composed herself before trying again. "I'm sorry. But I can't change the way I feel, and I refuse to string you along. I'm sorry."

Silence.

"See you later, Lily." A tone of bitter disappointment.

She watched him trudging down the corridor and wondered if maybe she shouldn't believe in second chances.


	76. Second Chances

**Chapter 75**

**Second Chances**

"I'm not saying we're anything more than friends."

"Right."

"We're barely friends. We're… we're close acquaintances."

"Fine with me."

"This doesn't mean you can call me any stupid pet name."

"Of course."

"No 'Lils' or 'Lily-flower' or any of that."

"Got it."

"'Evans'. 'Lily' if I'm in a good mood. Nothing else."

"Gotcha."

"And you don't ask me out or ask me for anything except for passing the potatoes."

"What if I want the apple sauce?"

"Potter…"

"Right, right. Sorry."

"And you don't insult Sam."

"But I thought-"

"Ahem."

"Right. No insulting Sam."

"And don't expect anything from me. Don't ask me for a kiss or even just to copy off my notes."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"Are we clear?"

"Crystal."


	77. Wesley Higgins & Absurdity

**Chapter 76**

**Wesley Higgins and the State of Being Absurd**

"I'm prepared to take on your entire army, Remy. They're no match for Wesley Higgins!"

Remus, who was playing wizard's chess with Sirius, watched as Sirius performed a daring move… and placed his pawn two spaces ahead. (The pawn, meanwhile, was shouting at Sirius. "You ignorant fool! One space, not two! ONE SPACE! You're a goner now!" Sirius gave him a little bonk on the head and he promptly fell silent.)

"Wesley Higgins?" Remus asked, amused.

"Yes! This slight pawn you see here is not… is not…"

"Insignificant? Inconsequential? Trivial? Minor?" Remus suggested.

"No… that's not the word I was looking for… AHA!" Sirius cleared his throat before resuming his speech. "This slight pawn you see here is not intelligent!" he announced. (The pawn, recovered now, began shouting insults at him, but Sirius simply covered it'sits mouth with his hand.) "But I, however, am! And Wesley Higgins is the brawn to my brains, dear Moony. We are going to take you down! Any last words?" He'd heard that line in a Muggle movie once and thought it sounded quite cool.

Remus studied the board. They were just beginning the game, and this would be Remus' fourth move. "Yes," he replied confidently. "Checkmate."

Sirius gaped. There were no words for his feelings.

In response to his fellow Marauders' unasked question, Remus said, "I applied the Four-Move Checkmate to the game, trusting you'd be unable to figure it out."

Sirius stood up, gathering his pieces in his arms. "Wesley! You've shamed me!" he cried, to which the piece replied in a sardonic tone, "Well, if you'd only gone one space up instead of two like I told you to, you wouldn't be defeated now would you?"

Sirius seemed highly offended by this and declared, "Come Wesley! We're going to have a chat in my room about this! We're renewing our strategy so next time Moony will have to accept defeat!" And with that he stomped up the stairs to his dorm.

Remus watched with a bemused expression on his face. Just then, James came bursting into the Common Room. He grabbed Remus, and without a word began to drag him toward the stairs.

"Err… James…. I wouldn't go up there just now," Remus said, trying to contain his amusement.

"Why not?"

"Sirius is… uh… having a serious discussion with Wesley Higgins."

"Wesley Hig- what? Fine. Whatever. Never mind. Come with me then. I need to talk to you." And so James dragged Remus away, the werewolf still chuckling over his friend's antics."

~8)

"She said she'll be friends with me!" James practically yelled. "Or, at least, 'close acquaintances'."

Remus looked smug. "I told you."

"Nuh-uh! You said, and I_ quote_, 'Well, that sounds promising'. You didn't say anything about her actually being friends with me."

Remus rolled his eyes. "But it was implied."

"Nothing's implied, Remy. Nothing."

"Don't call me Remy!"

"Remy, Remy, Remy!"

"Shut up, Jamsie!"

"You didn't!"

"I did, you… you… fluffy Bambi!"

"Bambi? That's absurd!"

"You're absurd!"

"Say that again to my face!"

"You're absurd!"

"That's absurd!"

Remus, who had been jabbing his finger into James' chest for emphasis backed off, and studied James. He would never forgive him for using that… that foul, evil, despicable, _absurd _name! Never. "Fine. Let's agree to disagree. You were saying something about Lily?"

James immediately brightened (even though he was never going to forgive Remus for being so… absurd, he could forget it… for now). "Yeah! She made me agree to a buncha stuff though. No pet names, no asking her out, no insulting Sam." James ticked off each point on his fingers. "And apparently, we're not _friends._ We're 'close acquaintances'. But that's better than nothing, yeah?"

"Of course! That's great, Prongs!"

"Right?" James did a little happy dance. "I think, by the end of the year, we could be best buds."

"Best buds? You may be pushing it a little, Prongs."

"Naww… Just let me have my moment, Moony!"

"Have you told Sirius?"

"No! Where is he again?"

"Erm… he's, uh… Well, to be honest, he's talking to his chess pieces about new strategies. He's named one of them Wesley Higgins," Remus said amusedly.

"Beat him again?" James asked, smirking.

"Four Move Checkmate."

"You know that's not nice, Moony."

"But his face is so much fun to watch afterwards!"


	78. Denial

**Chapter 77**

**Denial**

James sidled up to Lily and dropped semi-dramatically into the seat next to hers. "So… Evans. In a good mood?"

She looked up from where she'd been reading her Transfiguration textbook. "I suppose. Why?" she asked suspiciously.

"Just wanted to know if I could get by with a 'Lily'," James replied, grinning.

Lily rolled her eyes, but in a friendly sort of way. "So what do I call you?"

"Well, we're, ahem, 'close acquaintances', so I think we can use first names, _Lily._"

She noticed his emphasis on her name and when she spoke next, a small smile curved her lips. "All right then, _James_."

The two continued talking, oblivious to the boy watching from across the room. Sam stared at Lily, churning with emotions.

This must be why she had dumped him. For Potter. That sick, arrogant twat. Didn't she remember how he'd hurt her? Didn't she remember how he, Sam, had helped her?

In a fit of rage, he stormed up to the boys dormitories and then, because he was so very articulate, demonstrated his feelings by screaming into his pillow. "Crap crap crap crap crap shit crap crap I'm gonna kill that prat crap crap crap." It was very eloquent.

~8)

James and Lily looked up as Sam stormed away. Lily winced as she heard loud banging noises coming from her ex-boyfriend's room. She felt awful—Sam was hardly ever this angry. He must have seen her with James, and of course he'd be angry she was with him. He'd think she'd broken up with him for James. _Had_ she broken up with him for James? _No_, she thought._ We just needed time that's all. I did _not_ break up with him for another guy. Least of all for James. I did it for myself. Myself._


	79. Bleu Cheese It Grows On You

**Chapter 78**

**Bleu Cheese— It Grows On You**

"So Jayne, are we still on for Hogsmeade this weekend? It's the last one, y'know."

Jayne winced as Peter's rank breath washed over her. "Uh… yeah… About that, Peter. It's just that, well, it turns out Seth and I really hit it off. And we're kind of… dating now."

It wasn't a lie. Jayne had never really considered her schoolgirl crush on Seth being anything more than that. But they were going to give it a try. It was far from perfect. "Awkward" would probably be the best word for it, but they were both willing, and all their friends declared them to be "perfectly matched".

Peter looked disappointed. "Well, how do you know if you don't try? It's like bleu cheese. At first, you might not like it. But it grows on you." He used his favorite thing, cheese, as an example. "I'm the bleu cheese," he added unnecessarily.

"Yes, but you see, Peter, I've never been particularly fond of bleu cheese," Jayne replied gently. "I'm sorry, but I don't think it's going to work out. I like you more as a… friend."

_That _was a lie. She didn't really like him as anything. Mostly, she just tolerated him.

Peter was crushed. "Oh… well, then… I'll just… go, then, shall I?" He offered her an unhappy look before hurrying back on his short legs to the castle.

Jayne sighed. Shaking her head, she went to go tell off Sirius and James for not keeping the boy away from her. She wouldn't mind yelling right now.


	80. One Week Left

**Chapter 79**

**One Week Left**

"So, Lils, ready to head home? We've only got one week left, you know."

Lily looked up at Alice with a sigh. "I dunno. It'll be nice to get away from all this drama stuff between Sam and James and I, but… I dunno. I'm going to miss Hogwarts."

Alice smiled. "Well, we still have one more year! And since when is he 'James'?" she asked with a smirk.

Lily rolled her eyes, but grinned. "Since we became friends."

"Friends?"

"Yes, Alice. Friends. Are you familiar with the concept? You and I? We're friends. Just like James and I are friends."

"No need to be so sarcastic," Alice said, grinning. "But anyway, I had news, you know. I didn't just come up here to spend time in your lovely company."

Lily faked a gasp. "And here I thought you loved me because I was so charismatic. You just want me for your homework, don't you?! Don't lie to me, Alice!"

Alice rolled her eyes at her friends' fake drama. "Haha, very funny, Lily. You should be a come dyan."

"A come dyan?"

"Y'know! Whatever the Muggles call it!"

"A comedian?" Lily asked, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Yeah… that thing!"

Lily rolled her eyes, but she was laughing a little. "You had news?"

"Yep! I didn't tell you before, 'cause I didn't want to make things awkward what with all your boy drama, but the other day, Frank told me he loved me!" Alice grinned, her smile threatening to break her face.

Genuinely happy for her friend, Lily broke out into her own radiant smile. "Alice! That's wonderful! Oh, you guys are so sweet! You're going to grow up and get married and have little Frank and Alice babies! Mrs. Longbottom!"

Alice blushed. "I think you might be taking this a little too far," she said, though she was smiling.

"Nuh-uh! Have you told Marlene?"

"Not yet…"

"Well what are you standing around for? Let's go tell her! This is great, Mrs. Longbottom!"

"Stop calling me that!"

"But it's true!"

Dragging Alice along with her, a smile plastered across her face, Lily marched away to go find Marlene and give her the happy news.

~8)

"So you and Lily, huh?" Sirius appraised James, grinning. "I knew it would happen! Wormtail owes me ten galleons!"

"We're not together yet! We're just… friends. And what d'you mean, Wormtail owes you ten galleons?"

"Err… nothing, nothing," Sirius said quickly. "But you and Evans! That's awesome, mate! That's… FANAZING! You guys are going to make little Potter babies! Have names picked out yet?" he asked slyly.

"Harry," James replied immediately. "I mean… No. Of course not, Padfoot. That's… that's ridiculous!" James scoffed, turning tomato red.

Sirius laughed. "I just feel bad for Evans."

"Why?" James asked, confused.

"She has to put up with you!" Sirius laughed at James' affronted expression.

"I'll have you know," James said pompously. "That I am an amazing individual. All the girls love me! It's a combination of my sexy hair and my lovely charisma. I'm sure everyone, including Lily, wants to date me!"

Unfortunately for James, Lily just so happened to be walking past. Curiously, she seemed to be pulling a reluctant Alice with her. James gulped as she stopped short and looked at him.

"Yes, James, I'm sure it's your 'sexy hair' and 'lovely charisma'. That's the deal maker," she said sarcastically, though not meanly. "And don't forget that charming vanity!"

James grinned. "Why thank you!"

Sirius looked at James. "Mate, I may not be super smart, but even I can tell she just insulted you."

"She did not!"

The two boys immediately started a wrestling match on the floor of their dormitory, shouting, "No, she didn't!" and "You bet she did!"

Lily smiled and hurried away, dragging Alice with her.


	81. Can We Still Be Friends?

**Chapter 79**

**"Can We Still Be Friends?"**

It was almost time for the students of Hogwarts to leave their beloved school. James, Lily, Marlene, Alice, Sirius, Remus, Sydney, and Peter crammed themselves together into the biggest empty compartment they could find on the Hogwarts Express. Everyone was playing Exploding Snap and laughing at Sirius, whose eyebrows had been singed off, when the compartment door slid open.

It was Sam.

Silence fell thick and fast over the compartment, broken only by the sizzling of the cards. James was glaring angrily at Sam.

"Hey, Lily."

"Hey, Sam," she replied quietly.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked in a slightly strangled voice. "Outside?"

"Sure." She stood just in time to avoid the another explosion as all of the Exploding Snap cards decided to blow up. Immediately, everyone around the table ducked and grabbed their faces.

The last thing Lily heard before shutting the compartment door was Sirius laughing as James reappeared without eyebrows.

The pair stood awkwardly in the hallway, all alone at the end of the train. "You wanted to talk?" Lily prompted quietly.

"Yeah. Lily… I just… I don't understand what happened to us. One minute we were fine and in love-" Lily made a small sound of protest here but Sam ignored it- "and the next you were telling me you wanted to break up. I don't know what happened."

Lily sighed. "Sam… you're a great guy, and I should be in love with you… but I'm not. I can't control who I'm in love with Sam."

"So there's another guy," Sam said, stonily.

"No, no!" Lily blushed. "No… I just… I love you… but like a brother, or a friend. Not like… a boyfriend. I'm sorry."

Sam sighed heavily. "I'm sorry too, Lily." He began to walk away.

Without thinking, Lily lurched forward and grabbed his arm. "But Sam… Can we still be friends?"

Sam looked down at her beautiful face, her emerald eyes pleading with him and said, "I dunno, Lily. I don't think I can give you an answer yet."

She let go of his arm and began to move towards her compartment. "Well, I hope we can. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

He walked away.


	82. I Love You This Much

**A/N: There's nothing to say but sorry. I will be updating two chapters as an apology. Please look at the A/N on the next chapter for SOME SUPER IMPORTANT information.**

**~iambookworm**

**Chapter 80**

**I Love You This Much **

"What'd Sam want?" Alice asked as Lily walked in the compartment.

The redhead shrugged. "Nothing. It's fine. What'd I miss?"

~8)

A few minutes after Lily's return, Remus stood and began to awkwardly maneuver himself to the door. "Well, I've got to go meet Samantha," he told them. "Shouldn't be too long. I'll be back in a bit."

"Yeah, after he's finished snogging her," Sirius muttered just loud enough for everyone to hear.

Remus blushed. "Shut up, Padfoot." He walked out to meet his girlfriend while Sirius leaned over and began trying to persuade Sydney to go get some 'candy from the trolley' and snog with him.

"Speaking of snogging…" He looked at her suggestively.

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up, you pig. We are not going anywhere to snog."

"So you want to do it here?" he asked, lighting up.

"Ugh! No, Sirius! We are not snogging. Not here or anywhere else."

Sirius pouted. "Fine. Wanna get some candy from the trolley with me, then?" he asked, his facial expression giving away his suggestive hint.

"Merlin, Sirius! Stop bothering me!"

He would not, however, so eventually the two found themselves heading out into the corridor together.

"You are so annoying," Sydney complained.

"But you still love me!"

"Barely…"

Sirius laughed. "You love me a lot! You love me so much! You love me… you love me this much!" He threw his arms out to show her capacity of love for him.

"Maybe not that much," she muttered.

"This much?" he asked, moving his hands a bit closer together.

"A little less than that."

"This much?"

This conversation continued for about five minutes until they reached the candy trolley.

"This much?" Sirius asked for what seemed to Sydney like the thousandth time. His hands were now so close together they were practically touching. He seemed a little put-out by that.

Sydney observed his hands. She took them and pushed them as close together as they could go without touching. "I love you that much," she told him.

Sirius looked aghast. "You can't only love me that much! I'm fanazing!"

Sydney rolled her eyes. "Fine. Just buy your candy, so we can go."

Sirius looked pacified before his expression melted a wicked grin. He turned to the trolley. The candy lady looked a little scared.


	83. Platform 9 and 34

**Chapter 82**

**Platform 9 and 3/4**

The Hogwarts Express pulled into Platform 9 and 3/4 smoothly, the steam that had been pouring out of it slowing down to a trickle as the students piled out. Feet were stepped upon, elbows were bonked, trunks hit passing people's heads, and generally much swearing was to be heard, but eventually all the students made it onto the platform.

Lily stepped down off from the steam engine, dragging her trunk behind her amid the cacophony of owls shrieking and students yammering away to their parents. The Marauders and their respective girlfriends, Frank and Alice, Jayne and Seth, Jakub, and Marlene, were close behind. Moving out of the crowd to a calmer area, they all said their goodbyes.

Remus promised to owl everyone, gave James, Sirius, and Frank a manly clap on the back/hug, tried to do the same to Peter and failed as Peter seemed to have been reaching in for a hug (which was not tolerated in the world of man-to-man interactions), and hugged the girls. Samantha gave slightly awkward hugs to the other girls as well as she didn't know them well, and exchanged smiles with the boys. Then the couple walked off to shyly introduce each other to their parents.

Sirius, whose attitude had spiraled slowly down as they approached London, had a quiet conversation with James, a frown plastered to his face, before giving the girls hugs and the same clap-on-the-back-hug to Peter, Frank, and James as Remus had had. As he hugged Lily, he whispered, "I'll miss you, Lils. Don't forget to owl me, 'kay?" She nodded, hugging him back tightly. She knew what he was going to go through at home. "If you need anything…" she trailed off. He nodded tightly, then took Sydney to a corner where he gave her a last, passionate snog, before sloping off to join his irate parents and brother who were all eyeing Sydney as she returned to the Seventh Year group. Sirius smacked Regulus upside the head when the younger boy gave Sydney a look-over.

The Keeper exchanged heartfelt goodbyes with Jakub, Jayne, and Seth, and hugs and smiles for everyone else, and then departed shortly after with her parents. She didn't say anything about Sirius meeting her parents, which seemed odd to the others, but they all kept their mouths shut. Perhaps they just weren't 'there', yet. Besides, parents were a touchy subject with Sirius.

Peter scurried off shortly afterwards to his mother, who was looking weary. He gave Jayne a hug that lasted much too long, and when he turned to try and give Seth his version of a manly hug, found Seth was glaring too angrily at him for him to even attempt eye contact. He squeaked a nervous goodbye, and hurried away. No one saw him give a brief anxious nod to Regulus Black, who was just walking out the door with Sirius after having stopped to exchange good-byes with his own (Slytherin) friends while his parents watched on approvingly.

Frank and Alice were adorable, the girls thought. Frank hugged Alice tightly, giving her a little twirl, before kissing her quickly. He then said his goodbyes to the remaining Seventh Years. Alice hugged Lily and Marlene tightly with the regular promises to keep in touch, and a possible visit. She'd already met Frank's parents last year, but she paused along the way to her own mother and father to exchange hellos with the Longbottoms. Lily couldn't resist yelling at her friend's back as she walked away, "Goodbye, Mrs. Longbottom!" She and Marlene laughed as Alice turned around and sent them a half-panicked, half-steely eyed look as her parents were looking on.

Jayne, Seth, and Jakub had split away from the group after Sydney had left, and they all left, leaving at the same time with after brief goodbyes to the three remaining Gryffindors.

With more promises of owls and visits to Lily and a brief hug with James, Marlene left with her parents, leaving Lily and James the only two Seventh Year Gryffindors left on the platform, their parents being a bit late to pick them up.

By this time, Lily was thoroughly sick of goodbyes, and plonked down on a near-by bench to await her pick-up. James followed, sitting down a few inches away, a little more than glad that the bench was so small. He was just attempting to start a conversation, maybe even worm a promise out of her to owl, when she stood. "That's my grandparents," she said, nodding to a pair of adults looking a bit amazed at their surroundings although they had done this before. She waved as her red-haired grandmother made eye contact with her.

She turned to James for a last goodbye, and he panicked. He needed some sort of promise from her. He could hardly bear it if they didn't at least _owl _each other, though he would prefer a visit of course. But he doubted she'd concede to that. Were they even friends? Beginning to feel a rising anxiety inside of himself as she pulled away from their hug (_Only four seconds long_, he thought nervously), he blurted out, "So, um, Lily... does this mean we're... officially... friends?"

Lily smiled, her eyes dancing mischievously as she shook her head slightly to get her curtain of hair out of her face. "Well, I suppose we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?"

As James' mouth dropped open both in surprise and slight horror, Lily danced away, her clear laughter at his expression ringing out across King's Cross Station as she joined the rest of her family at the entrance to Platform 9 and 3/4.

**A/N: I originally intended for this to be the last chapter and start a sequel with them getting together, but, well, looking that over, it seemed a pretty horrible idea. I didn't want to leave you guys hanging, or not have time or the level of commitment to finish the sequel, etc. So I'm continuing, but updates will take a bit longer. A lot of the material I had before I'd written in advance, so I was never short on chapters, but this is all new stuff, so it's going to take a while. I also want to make the chapters a bit longer (which, you'll notice, did happen as we progressed), so please have patience. I love you all (but reviewers are supermegafoxyawesomehot)! **

**Kylie**


	84. Imaginary Friends & Motherly Advice

**Chapter 83**

**Imaginary Friends and Motherly Advice**

James had decided he wasn't going to owl Lily. Or, rather, he was _trying _to decide. His brain was having a hard time being decisive. Feeling harried, he stared at the blank wall under his window, and thought. The side of his brain opposed to writing Lily, he decided, was Sirius. It sounded like Sirius. And the other side that was all for writing Lily was called Remus, because he was pretty sure Remus would be supportive of owling his new… was she a friend?

James watched in his mind's eye as Remus shook his head exasperatedly and rolled his eyes. "C'mon, James! Just write the girl! You like her, she likes you, you guys are friends. Friends write each other."

But Mind-Sirius butted in. "Yeah, well, he doesn't want to seem too eager. He's not going to keep chasing her— that'll scare her away." James frowned. Mind-Sirius had a point.

"I'm not saying ask her out! Just, talk to her," Mind-Remus advised. "Ask her how her summer's going. Talk about your mutual friends. Crack a joke. Keep things light and casual. No need for any drama."

"But if he doesn't talk to her, then she'll be forced to talk to _him_!" Mind-Sirius pointed out.

Mind-Remus threw up his imaginary hands. "Or she'll think he hates her, and she'll be hurt."

"Well, that's stupid."

"No, it's not. Lily will be expecting him to owl her first. She knows he wants to be friends, and this is his way of extending the proverbial 'olive branch'."

"What's an olive branch?" Mind-Sirius asked.

Mind-Remus was in the middle of an exasperated explanation when James' mother interrupted his musings.

"James, honey, what would you like for lunch?"

James adjusted his body listlessly so he could face her. Mind-Remus and -Sirius dropped out of existence. His head drooped. "A date with Lily Evans," he muttered into his pillow.

His mother gave him a sympathetic look he missed as his head was still enveloped in the pillow. "I want to die!" he moaned dramatically.

Jeanette Potter laughed a little at her son's melodrama. "I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it is."

"You're right," James muffled voice came from his pillow. "It's worse."

His mother laughed again. "Well, why don't you take your head out of that pillow so you don't suffocate, and explain the situation to me."

"No. I want to suffocate and _die._"

"Well, if you don't take your head out of that pillow then I can't offer you my sage female words of advice."

"You don't know about this stuff anymore. You're _old_."

Affronted, his mother smacked the back of his head. "Oh, shut up, James. I know more than you do."

"Eww," James gave her a look of disgust as he emerged from where he had been trying to suffocate himself with his pillow. "Don't even go there, mum."

She smirked. "So… more Lily problems, huh?"

"Urgh." James smacked his head back down into his pillow. Sighing, he sat up again and launched into his explanation. "She was dating this bloke, right? Sam? He's on the Quidditch Team. Wicked Seeker. Fifth Year. Anyways, so they were dating, right? I mean, he's way too young for her, but they were dating. And then that crazy bi-" James glanced nervously at his mother. "I mean, this crazy girl hurt her, and she was at St. Mungo's and everything, and it was this whole, huge deal, and I mean, I'm the one who saved her from the crazy girl— who's Sirius' cousin, Bellatrix, by the way— but like, she was still dating Sam. So then something happened, I dunno what, and all of a sudden, they just weren't anymore. And Moony told me I should just be friends with her, so we tried that. And, I mean, like, I think we're friends now, but I don't know for sure. And if I don't know if we're friends, how am I supposed to know whether or not to owl her?"

"How come I didn't hear about you saving this girl?" Jeanette asked concernedly.

James groaned. "Mum. Focus."

"Right, right. Lily Evans. But we _will _be talking about this later, young man."

James gestured for her to move on. "Yeah, yeah, all right."

"Well, it seems to me like even if you aren't friends, you should owl her."

James looked at his mother skeptically. "How do you reckon that?"

"Well, if you're trying to become friends, then that's the way to do it, right? If you ignore her, she's going to be hurt. But if you owl her, you show her you care about her, and you're kind of extending a sort of olive branch out to her."

"Funny. That's what Remus said."

"Remus? You've been talking to him?"

"Erm… no. Not exactly. Whatever. Doesn't matter. Ahem." James turned scarlet, not wanting to have to explain to his mother about his… imaginary friends. "But shouldn't I wait to see if she wants to be friends? I mean, if she owls me, then she obviously wants to be, but if she doesn't…"

"James. She's a girl. She's probably in the same situation as you, right now. She probably wants to be friends with you, but she's not sure what you want. I mean, it's obvious you're… interested. But, are you interested in being friends, or just snog buddies? You've got to start the friendship. It's your choice." Jeanette patted his leg reassuringly and stood. "Now what do you want for lunch?"


End file.
